en	"Yeah I'll be fine, don't you worry."

en	You tried not to worry, settling yourself down. Trying to rest.

en	You stared at the wall of the bedroom. Unsure what to think, unsure how to feel. Tracing the grain of the wood with your eyes.

en	You wondered if the numbness you felt made you a monster. Some strange lacking that left you sitting there, bereft of feeling.

en	You were brought back from your thoughts as your ears drew your eyes away from the wall, down to your side.

en	Down to where Joseph's hand fidgeted, tapping against the floor.

en	The softest of patters against the rug, an unheard rhythm from within him.

en	His breathing caught your eye too, the noticeable rise and fall of his chest, the long exhales through his nose.

en	Your eyes continued up to his sullen face, the feathers of his head subtly shaking, nerves bubbling to the surface.

en	You looked back down to his hand and found yourself reaching across, reaching out to take hold.

en	Joseph jolted as you touched him, his hand almost reflexively jerking out of yours. As he came back to the world, he looked down.

en	He relaxed his arm when he saw, squeezing you a little and letting you steal his hand away into your lap.

en	It was trembling as you stroked your thumb over the feathers, squeezing his hand back firmly.

en	Your hands moved around each other, grappling and dancing, exploring each others fingers and palms.

en	A distraction of each other's fur and feathers, just the two of you.

en	Joseph's arm being pulled away from him started to make him lean, his body subtly shifting inch by inch closer to you.

en	He started to tilt, and his head tilted too, laying on your shoulder with a comforting heft of weight.

en	You laid your head on his, feather ends tickling you through your fur. He untwisted his arm into a comfier position, keeping it near.

en	You took ahold again, holding the back of his hand, digging your fingers inbetween his, intertwining.

en	Now you were both still, only the small movements of getting comfortable to disturb you, hands fidgeting together.

en	"We're alive, huh. Did we really do that?"

en	"Nah, there's no way. When we rolled up on Clemency, and I saw y'all, ah thought we had no shot."

en	"How did we make it out alive?"

en	There was an incredulity to his voice that weighed on your heart. He was right. You nearly died.

en	Nearly - but you didn't. You were still alive. You were still here, with him.

en	"I don't think I care about the how or the why. We're still alive and they aren't."

en	"All that matters to me is that I'm sitting here with you. That I can feel how warm you are."

en	Joseph sat up at that, his head no longer on your shoulder as he turned to look at you.

en	Looking into your eyes.

en	You found your hand let go of his, reaching up. Wanting to feel him, feel his warmth, the way his stomach moved as he breathed.

en	His heart still beating strong inside him, like it was reaching out to you. Quickening as you let your hand lay on his chest.

en	You felt your own heartbeat thrumming louder now, like you had just minutes ago.

en	Not out of fear this time, not that kind, as you reached up past his shoulder.

en	He closed his eyes as your hand rubbed gently up his neck, feathers fluffing, stroking up till you cupped his face.

en	The feathers of his face were soft, intermingled with the dust and dirt, the specks of dried blood that you felt beneath your hand.

en	He opened his eyes again, those big honey gold and brown rings that started to flick around your features, studying you.

en	Looking at you in a way you don't think you ever have been before.

en	He cleared his throat a little, dry and unsure of his words, but wanting to say them all the same.

en	"Y'know ah didn't... I don't- did I ever tell you... how handsome you are?"

en	You couldn't help your little snort as you laughed, turning your face away, giggling over the nervous trip of his words.

en	"No, no, I don't think you did..."

en	"Aw, come on, $Player."

en	Looking back at him, it felt like your faces were closer. Your laughter subsided.

en	Cheeks starting to warm as the sweetness of his words trickled into your thoughts like honey.

en	You found yourself leaning in, slowly, slowly, as did he, your eyes glancing at each other's mouths.

en	The stretch of tension in your back as your head pushed forward had your hand, buried in the softness of his feathers, pulling him closer.

en	Eyes meeting once more, just a moment before...

en	Your faces met. You pressed your lips to the end of his beak, his hot breath on your lips, in your mouth, as yours was in his.

en	You held the kiss there, holding your lips to his, unsure if this was what you were supposed to do.

en	You'd never kissed anyone like this before. You hadn't met anyone like Joseph before either. You just want to be close to him like this.

en	Your heart was beating hard in your chest, your cheeks flushed and hot.

en	You heard what sounded like sweeping, realising it was your tail wagging across the floor.

en	A few more seconds passed before the kiss was broken, your hand falling from his face to hold onto his arm.

en	You looked at each other with quivering breaths. You could feel the strong rhythm of his heartbeat in your hand.

en	A big, gracious smile spread across Joseph's face. You matched it with a more sheepish one, embarrassed still despite everything.

en	"Guessin' you never kissed someone with a beak before?"

en	"Uh, no... no, I haven't. Or anyone without one for that matter..."

en	"Well, if that really was your first time ah got nothin' to complain about."

en	"I'd just say it was a very... mammal kiss."

en	"Oh really now? Do educate me."

en	"You have a lot of lip to it. Birds can't do that so well, y'see? So we tend to kiss a little differently."

en	Your face warmed even more, your ears burning as he leaned in closer, talking softly.

en	"Let me show you."

en	One hand came to rest on your leg as he leaned forward. His beak passed flush with your snout.

en	You closed your eyes as he came closer, the whispers of his breath warm on your face as the tip of his beak gently poked at your cheek.

en	He preened and rubbed his beak through your fur, almost nibbling at you, feeling soft scrapes against your skin.

en	Joseph's affections continued against your cheek, the feathers of his face close to your nose, smelling of sweat and tobacco.

en	He nuzzled through the fur of your face a few moments more, before rubbing his beak all along your snout as he dipped his head back.

en	You opened your eyes again, bemused by Joseph's new kiss, to gaze upon his bashful face.

en	From the blush of his cheeks and the unusual shyness he was trying to shrug off, you felt as if you'd been entrusted a secret.

en	"Wh... Whadda ya make of that?"

en	"Hmm... I think I liked mine better, but I could get used to those too."

en	He slipped an arm around your back, holding you closer as your heart fluttered at the thought of familiar kisses.

en	"Ah would be happy to oblige."

en	His face beamed with a warm smile, and he leaned forward to rest his head atops yours.

en	You reached your hand across him and grabbed his other hand, pulling it into his lap, keeping you all close like a bundle of sticks.

en	Letting your mind focus on him. Feeling his hand squeeze your side firmly, squeezing his other hand back.

en	Listening to his breathing, to the small shuffles of his clothes, to the faint beat of his heart in his chest.

en	Your ear flicked around a little as you heard something else, some subtle noise you wanted to ignore, focusing on the warmth of Joseph.

en	The fight in the street seemed to be over. No longer could you hear the muffled shots, the pops or bangs or cracks that split the air.

en	What you could hear now though were rhythmic thuds, distant and soft but growing louder by the second.

en	It was footsteps. First at the stairs, but now coming along the landing, coming closer.

en	You sat up sharply, knocking Joseph in the chin a little, as you heard one of the doors open, and then close.

en	Whoever it was was checking the rooms. Joseph sat up as he took note of the noises as well, realising the same as you.

en	Someone was looking for you, or at least, someone was looking for stragglers.

en	Your hand snapped to your gun and pulled it from the holster, aiming it square at the door.

en	You heard more doors open and close. Whoever it was would be here in just a few seconds.

en	The footsteps grew that little bit louder and you found something familiar within them.

en	There were four footsteps, two people, but there was another offbeat thump there, out of pace. A fifth footstep?

en	As the hunters came to the door you realised what it was, your hand coming down, pointing the gun away. Joseph whispered urgently.

en	"What are ya doing?"

en	It wasn't another footstep you heard. It was the thump of a cane.

en	The door swung open, with two figures standing in the doorway. A moment of uncertainty had you pointing the gun back their way.

en	You put it away again though as, sure enough, you saw who you were expecting.

en	It was Sheriff, along with a man unfamiliar to you, a lanky serious-looking hare who leaned in, still holding the door handle.

en	"Woah, put that thing away there, we don't mean you no harm."

en	Both of them had rifles slung over their shoulders, and Sheriff's worried face turned to one of relief when you met eyes.

en	"And there I was gettin' all twisted up worrying 'bout you two. I knew you'd be alright."

en	"Sheriff? What are you doin' here, ah thought everyone was outta town?"

en	"Well, everyone is, 'cept for us. Oh, I should introduce you, this is Matthew, he stayed behind to help me."

en	"I couldn't go with everyone else, I was worried 'bout the town and you boys... so Matthew and I stayed here to help however we could."

en	"We were up on the roof shooting as a distraction, I hope it was of some help."

en	"Wait that was you? I thought you were supposed to be pacifists."

en	"Well we didn't actually shoot anyone. We just shot near them, heh."

en	"Trying to tip the scales in your favour and give them something else to worry about."

en	"Looks like that made the saloon a bit of a target though, Bartholomew's not gonna be happy about this mess..."

en	"I'm sorry, we'll do whatever we can to help..."

en	Matthew waved it off cheerily.

en	"Don't worry, my husband's a very forgiving man, but this saloon is like his baby."

en	"He'll wanna know you're alright but after that he's just gonna wanna fix it up."

en	So this was the husband? You didn't think your first meeting with him would be... like this.

en	"Seems like you got banged up pretty bad too, I don't know if we shoulda done more..."

en	"No, I think you may well have saved our lives. We knew the danger of what we were doing."

en	"Thank you for helping us like that. You didn't have to."

en	"Yeah, thanks. We owe you one."

en	"Don't mention it, we'll ask for your help when you're better, but right now you need some seeing to."

en	"Lucky for you the town doctor's here."

en	"Where?"

en	"You're looking at him!"

en	"Ah, sorry."

en	"Nothing to apologise for. We've all had quite the day."

en	"What happened to everyone else?"

en	"We told 'em to leave. Their bosses are dead, and we said more people would be back soon too, none of 'em felt like sticking around."

en	"You're safe."

en	Inside yourself there was some deep sigh of relief you didn't realise you'd been holding onto, like you hadn't breathed right for days.

en	You nodded gratefully. Matthew came in to the room and started tending to Joseph first, looking over his injuries.

en	You were both hurt, and bruised, and bloody - but you were safe now.

en	You wondered how long it would be until you could believe that.

en	His hurt leg stretched out against the floor as he massaged the muscle gently, bringing the other closer out of the way.

en	"Leg's killing me, hah. Well, not really, thank God."

en	The bleeding looked like it had stopped thankfully, but it still needed tending to before it got worse.

en	Your ears flicked as you turned your head, and you felt the still air stinging against the exposed tip of your ear.

en	You reached up for a moment, feeling it, fingers running past the matted, sticky fur. The bleeding had stopped there too.

en	How were you supposed to feel when Curly's sitting behind a house, limp, body baking in the sun.

en	How were you supposed to feel with Black draped over a window, lifelessly hanging in the shade of the porch.

en	You couldn't shake the feeling of the glass pressed against your neck through your fur, cold against your skin.

en	Like it was still there. Like if you moved, in a second you'd find yourself gasping on the ground, drowning, grasping at your throat.

en	After he got comfortable he gingerly lifted a hand up to the long slash on his face.

en	He let out soft, short groans and noises as he tested the cut, checking how bad it was.

en	He pulled his hand away, rubbing his fingers together, inspecting the minimal blood he'd found.

en	"Not bleeding too much anymore... still hurts like hell though, ow."

en	You leaned forward a little to try look at him too, but got a harsh reminder as the cut in your side flared up.

en	"At least we'll have matching scars now."

en	Joseph looked at you, befuddled for a moment till he realised you meant the old scar over your own eye.

en	"Haha, well! Guess it must be fate. Can't complain 'bout that."

en	You smiled at the thought too, reaching your hand up a little to touch the slice in your side.

en	You were lucky. It had gone past the ribs, not through them. If he'd twisted the knife it might've been different.

en	Joseph reached up to his face again, still testing his eye.

en	"Hey stop that, you'll make it worse."

en	He put his hand down shyly, like a naughty kid caught in the act.

en	"Sorry, s'just hard to ignore..."

en	How were you supposed to feel with Black lying in the hills of the town, baking in the desert heat.

en	How were you supposed to feel when Curly was just a few steps outside the door, slumped against the wall.

en	You went over and over in your mind the knife against your arm, the strain as you fought against him.

en	You thought about how close you'd been to giving out, how close the blade had been, the cold metal threatening to spill your heart.

en	He sat awkwardly as he tried not to put any pressure on his shoulder. The red gash was painful just to look at.

en	"Shoulder hurts like a son of a gun, gah... least it's stopped bleeding by now."

en	"Yeah, mine kinda hurts still, probably not as bad as yours though. Suppose we should be lucky it wasn't worse."

en	"Ain't that the truth."

en	You gingerly touched the cuts on your face, checking over if they were still bleeding, how deep they'd gone.

en	Only a little blood came with your fingers, your face sore and raw, but you'd live. What's a few more scars?

en	How were you supposed to feel when Black is crumpled up by the well, desert heat drying the wet and stained sand.

en	How were you supposed to feel with Curly lying peacefully in the shade of the porch, windswept fur catching drips of red.

en	You thought about how helpless you'd been after Curly threw you. You wouldn't have been able to fight back.

en	You thought about his smugness as he came to step through the window. You thought about him walking over, boots clacking against the wood.

en	The cold metal of the gun through your fur as he stooped down to press it to your head.

en	He struggled to get comfortable as he sat, sitting up straight in an attempt to not move his stomach around too much.

en	"Ah know you said these cuts weren't too deep, but boy it doesn't feel like it."

en	"Stopped bleeding at least..."

en	You'd already checked it over, but you couldn't resist leaning to look at his stomach again, just to make sure he was alright.

en	You leaned back and tried to get comfortable too. Breathing through your mouth made your broken tooth hurt more, a cold soreness.

en	Breathing through your nose made it more bearable but you still had the pain in your jaw, throbbing.

en	You felt the deep bruises rising in your chest, and your back too, your ribs complaning if you shifted too much. Hopefully nothing was broken.

en	How were you supposed to feel with Curly lying in the midst of the houses, hidden from sight save for the midday sun.

en	How were you supposed to feel when Black is curled up downstairs, red stains mingling in the white of his clothes.

en	Your body was haunted with how you'd felt as you'd laid underneath him, pinned to the ground.

en	Dizzy and beaten, waiting for the final blows of the deep green glass, for it to crack against your skull till the light faded.

en	You're not sure if you knew back then, or when you realised, that you'd carry the scars from that day for the rest of your lives.

en	You and Joseph were put up in separate rooms at the saloon by Bartholomew, who insisted you stay so that Matthew could treat you both.

en	The month you spent resting and recovering there was full of sleepless nights. Nightmares came often, some more vivid than others.

en	You often woke in the early morning to find you and your bedsheets drenched in sweat. Some nights you were woken by Joseph shouting.

en	Those nights you'd sit up in bed, waiting for him to come into your room and crawl in, lying with him until he fell asleep.

en	Other nights, where you felt shaken and sick by what you dreamt about, you'd wake him asking if you could sleep in his bed.

en	Neither of you talked much otherwise. You kept to yourselves in your rooms, resting. Doctor's orders.

en	You weren't sure of their benefits, but Matthew brought you medicines occasionally, often some concoction involving whiskey.

en	He joked about the perks of having a bartender for a spouse. The taste was vile to you still, but you found it helped just a little.

en	It was odd, you thought, that the respite of bed rest felt like just as much work as being up and about at the camp.

en	It sometimes felt like resting was the last thing you were doing.

en	As the days rolled by, there did come the point you'd been waiting for, where you both were feeling fit enough to get up and do something.

en	You still kept to the saloon, only seeing a handful of familiar faces at odd times.

en	The saloon was already clean and mostly fixed up by the time you were recovered enough to lend a hand.

en	You felt like you'd missed your opportunity to help out, but Bartholomew assured you he'd need help when the new windows were to be fitted.

en	He'd also brought up that neither of you had joined in on the nightly gathering at the saloon.

en	That now you were better, everyone would love to see you.

en	You'd heard the gatherings all those nights you'd been resting. Attendance waxed and waned, but every night the saloon was bustling and merry.

en	Full of people enjoying each other's company, singing songs, telling stories.

en	The idea of being in the midst of that crowd put ice in your stomach.

en	Joseph happily agreed to come along to the next gathering, and so did you. You knew really that it would be good to be around people.

en	Now here you were. Standing in front of the window in your room, looking out, past the vague reflection of your face in the glass.

en	Night had fallen. Lights in houses down the street snuffed one by one as people left for the saloon, the downstairs filling with the town.

en	Already you could hear the muffled sounds of mingling, chatter, spatters of loud laughs that had grown familiar to you through the walls.

en	You kept looking out the window, into the dark desert, knowing that you'd have to move soon. Just waiting another second, another minute.

en	You had to go, go on, leave the room. A short sigh at yourself sent you off, walking across the room to meekly open the door.

en	You pulled it open just a crack, the warm lamp light in the saloon spilling in, and to your surprise you found Joseph standing there.

en	One hand raised about to knock on your door, he flashed you a little smile, clearly asking if he could come in.

en	You opened it just enough to let him in before closing it, leaning with your shoulder to the door as he stood close to you.

en	"Hey-"

en	"Hi."

en	Your greetings practically stumbled over each other, both clearly antsy, trying to get some words out.

en	"...Are you ready?"

en	You chewed the inside of your cheek a little as you thought. You wanted to be ready.

en	You wanted to go down and see the people who had cared for you. Joseph was here too. It would be fine.

en	"I'm not ready either, if it helps. Ah figure if we dilly-dally about it though we'll never be ready."

en	"Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

en	You sighed and Joseph patted you on the shoulder, a little reassurance to get you going.

en	"Alright. Let's go have a good time."

en	"That's the spirit."

en	Joseph followed close behind as you opened the door wide and stepped out, eyes adjusting from the darkness of your room.

en	He closed the door as you left and you walked along the landing together, down the stairs, looking out over the disparate crowds.

en	Clemency was a small town, but with so many packed into here, it felt like even the busiest of bars you'd glanced inside of before.

en	As you neared the bottom of the stairs you heard a voice call out.

en	"$Player, Joseph, over here!"

en	You looked over at the bar and saw Bartholomew waving at you, his arm stuck up high to catch you over the taller patrons milling past.

en	It wasn't just him either, standing at the bar were other familiar faces you were happy to see, namely Jacob and Sheriff.

en	You took Joseph's hand and walked through with him, excusing your way past people to the bar.

en	Jacob and Sheriff sidled along to make some room between them, a friendly gap for you both to squeeze into.

en	"It's good to see you well again, $Player. I found myself rather worried after what happened..."

en	"I'm glad to see you too Jacob. I didn't lose another limb so I think I have nothing to complain about."

en	He gave you a gentle reassuring smile, seeming genuinely calmed by your jokey reassurance. Sheriff leaned in to address you both.

en	"It's good to see you both in good health, for sure, and you'll be in even better health with a drink down you."

en	"Bartholomew?"

en	"S'what I'm here for! On the house fellas, what're you drinking?"

en	"Damn, really? Y'sure? We've been takin' up yer rooms and now free drinks, you're really spoilin' us."

en	"You need something so we can toast to your health! Go on, take your pick."

en	"Ah, well... I think I'll just stick with a beer."

en	"Alrighty, how's about you $Player?"

en	"Hmm... can you do me a whiskey?"

en	You felt Joseph giving you a quizzical look, surprised you'd choose such a hard liquor.

en	"Sure thing! Let me get on those."

en	He turned and busied himself with finding what you'd ordered, and you looked at Joseph, his face still confused over your choice.

en	"What? I've acquired a bit of a taste for it."

en	"No, ah can respect it, just didn't see it being your kinda thing."

en	"I'm full of surprises, huh?"

en	"Sure are."

en	You felt a little blush rise to your cheeks as he gave you a wry smile.

en	Bartholomew set down a stout tumbler of whiskey alongside the beer on the counter.

en	You took your drinks as Sheriff started to speak.

en	"That's more like it. Now, a toast! To $Player and Joseph. You boys pulled off something incredibly brave, and I'm thankful you made it."

en	"Hear, hear."

en	You went round clinking glasses, with Jacob, Joseph, Sheriff, and Bartholomew, before taking a sip of your whiskey.

en	Before it even reached your lips the smell was burning in your nose, and continued to burn as it slipped down your throat.

en	It was a pleasant burn of sorts, though. You weren't sure if that was the way it was meant to be, but you enjoyed it all the same.

en	"So, boys. I don't know what your plans are, now you're all fixed up, but I thought I'd take the moment to ask if you'd like to stay in Clemency?"

en	"I really... think you'd fit in here. It's just an invitation mind you, no need to gimme an answer now, but- just think about it for me."

en	You and Joseph glanced eyes for a moment, both humbled and blindsided, unsure what to say.

en	Why did the question leave you gripping your glass, fidgeting your thumb over the rim. Wasn't this something you wanted?

en	"Thank you Sheriff, that's... a very kind offer."

en	"We'll have to sleep on it ah think."

en	"Not a problem. Just a suggestion really, don't mind me none."

en	"Truth be told ah can't say we have much in the way of plans as of now."

en	"Uh, yeah, no, I haven't- We've not really thought about what to do next."

en	That was the honest truth. All you'd focused on was getting away from Curly, out from under his shadow.

en	Now you were free, you could do anything - and yet could think of nothing.

en	A tightness took ahold in your chest.

en	"If it isn't my favourite patients!"

en	Matthew came wandering over to the bar and greeted you both with a beaming smile.

en	"Great to see you up and at it."

en	"All thanks to you, doc."

en	"Aw, you're too kind. I'll drink to that."

en	He took a swig of the beer he held, as did Joseph in kind.

en	"I'm setting up a poker game right now so thought I'd wander round and see who's game."

en	"I'll join in."

en	"Alrighty, I've already got another guy as well so just need at least one more person. You able to sneak away from the bar hon?"

en	He spoke past you to Bartholomew who rolled his eyes.

en	"I admire your tenacity Matthew, but I'm not gonna join in on your poker no matter how many times you ask."

en	"Alright, alright, can't blame a man for trying..."

en	Joseph caught your eye and gave you a look to ask "you mind if I go?", to which you just nudged him encouragingly with your elbow.

en	"I'm game, if yer prepared to lose."

en	"Oh that's fighting talk! I shoulda known you'd be up for it, come with me to the table."

en	Joseph gave your arm a gentle squeeze before he grabbed his beer, and headed with Sheriff towards the back of the saloon.

en	You watched him disappear in the throng of people before turning back to the bar, just left with Jacob and Bartholomew.

en	"Not a gambler then Jacob?"

en	"Oh, heavens, no."

en	"Not that I have any particular objection, I'm just terrible at it. I have to say my poker face is quite dire."

en	You chuckled at that, certainly seeing how it could be the case. Your eyes turned down to your drink, small talk dying away.

en	Staring into the clear liquid that streaked the glass as you rolled it around in your hand.

en	Were you a whiskey drinker now? You couldn't have foreseen that a month ago.

en	Nor could you have foreseen before that, that you'd meet Joseph. That you'd end up here, having left the gang, Curly gone.

en	Thinking back on it, it felt like you were always going to be under Curly's thumb. What else was there for you?

en	That was going to be your life until the tides of fate swept you elsewhere. You didn't think you'd ever have a chance like this.

en	Now you have the chance to choose your life, everything is still just as hazy. What comes next?

en	"I know that look."

en	You turned your eyes up to Bartholomew as he put his elbows on the bar, leaning in with a friendly, knowing demeanour.

en	"That's the face of someone with a lot going on in the upstairs. That or there's something very interesting at the bottom of that glass."

en	"You thinking about what Sheriff said?"

en	"Yeah, it's just... I don't know."

en	"What are your plans now?"

en	"You must have some idea of what you want to do."

en	"I... can't say I do, I've not. I've not thought about it I guess."

en	"You know, you don't have to stay in Clemency. You could go anywhere really!"

en	"Oh yes I would say I agree. Travelling is an incredible way to learn, and to discover what kind of man you are."

en	"What... kind of man?"

en	"Indeed. It is easy when young to think you know the world, think you know yourself well."

en	"That is what I thought before I went on my pilgrimage."

en	"The man who left Pennsylvania all those years ago is not the same man who arrived in Clemency."

en	"In fact the man who arrived in Clemency and the man sitting at this bar now are not the same either."

en	"Convening with your fellow people gives a great deal of clarity and substance to your character."

en	"I... think I see what you mean."

en	You knew what he meant, of course. You'd run with Curly for years now.

en	Who you were when you left home and who you are now are strangers to each other.

en	You weren't sure, if that person from years ago met you now, that you'd be someone you wanted to know.

en	"It's not just yourself either! You can learn a lot about someone else from travelling with them."

en	"Me and Matthew learnt so much about each other on the trail, both the good and the bad."

en	"I don't think you really know someone till you've had to share the same bed for weeks on end."

en	"It could be good for you and Joseph."

en	"... Maybe."

en	You could feel your cheeks turning red. Joseph had talked about riding east before, but that was more like running away at the time.

en	What Bartholomew said stuck in your head. Do you even know Joseph? Do you really know him?

en	You thought you did, but really, you've only just met. You don't really know that much about each other.

en	While you may feel things for him you never have anyone else, and you've gone through Hell and high water to be here together, is that enough?

en	Is that a reason to stick together? Do you want to know who he is, do you want him to know who you are?

en	You have no idea what the future holds. You have no idea about anything. You don't know Joseph.

en	He doesn't know you either. You don't even know yourself.

en	Tar was welling up in your chest, coating your insides, making you heavy. Breathing deep, tapping your fingers on the bar.

en	It's too warm in here, too many people. You need some air.

en	"You feeling alright, $Player?"

en	His words snapped you out of your thoughts, but the feelings remained. You nodded subtly.

en	"Yeah, uh. I think I'm gonna go outside, get some air."

en	Giving them both a weak smile of reassurance, you left your drink on the bar and stepped away, passing strangers to head out the doors.

en	The night air was refreshing as it cooled your head. You welcomed the chill breeze from the desert that ruffled through your fur.

en	You didn't hang around long on the saloon porch, walking away into the town, leaving behind the yellow light that spilled from its windows.

en	You left the town too, past the sign that read its name, making your way up a path at the outskirts that brought back forlorn memories.

en	Memories of feelings not unlike the ones you were harboring now, as you stood at the top of your climb, on a familiar cliff.

en	You took slow, deep breaths of the night air, filling your lungs, clearing your head.

en	You wandered over to the cliff edge and gazed over the town, the light of the saloon stark against the inky dark.

en	The desert was quiet save for the whistle of wind carrying the chirp of insects.

en	You crouched down and fell on your haunches, sitting and letting your legs hang over the edge of the cliff.

en	It was funny to think how many life changing things had happened to you up here.

en	Meeting Joseph. Spending the night with him. Sowing the seeds of your plans to be free.

en	Was there some comfort to being up here, perhaps. Fond and fresh memories that calmed you. Reminding you why you were here.

en	Still there was a gnawing feeling on your heart no matter how much you hoped for there not to be.

en	Why are you feeling like this? Why are you so worried, why are you so scared, what's wrong with you?

en	Shouldn't this freedom you have now be a good thing? Why does it feel like everything is about to come crashing down around your ears?

en	What about Joseph? Sweet Joseph, that you made a promise with.

en	You let out a heavy sigh. You didn't expect to be weighed down with so many thoughts tonight. This was supposed to be a celebration.

en	Now you were up here, away from everyone, many contradictions running through your mind.

en	That's always been your answer to things. Running away. The only time you didn't was because of that promise.

en	How stupid can you be to choose to fight, and then want to run away from everything you were fighting for.

en	You'd probably run away from yourself if you could.

en	You just wish you could answer why.

en	You sat for a little while. The wind up here was still a pleasant breeze.

en	It blew past your head, cooling your warm ears, taking small grains of sand with it that floated off the cliff.

en	Not thinking about much at all as you looked out into the night, at the distant, dark blue silhouettes of hills.

en	"Howdy, stranger. What brings you out here?"

en	You were drawn from your trance by Joseph's voice all of a sudden. You were so out of it you hadn't even heard him approach.

en	You turned and looked up at him. He was standing a few paces away, his beer in one hand, your whiskey in the other.

en	"Mind if ah join you?"

en	You nodded at the ground, letting him know he could come sit.

en	He walked over and lowered himself carefully to sit next to you, keeping the drinks steady.

en	He held your whiskey glass out to you by his fingers, and you took it as he put it on your palm.

en	"Thanks."

en	"No problem."

en	"So like ah said, what brings you out here?"

en	You absentmindedly scratched the side of your glass with a blunt claw as you thought of your answer.

en	"I just... needed some air."

en	"Yeah, it was a lil' stuffy in that saloon. If ya ask me we did Bartholomew a favour breaking some windows. Air out the place."

en	You giggled a little at that. He was good at making you feel better.

en	"How are you always so charming? It seems to come so easy to you."

en	He looked a little bashful at that comment, scratching his head, unsure what to say.

en	"Uh, I don't know. Ah just... picked it up over time I guess. Helps get you out of fights and whatnot."

en	"Yeah... that makes sense."

en	"... You feeling alright? Didn't say anything when you left."

en	"Sorry, I didn't wanna bother you during your poker game."

en	You thought about what you wanted to say, but so many things vied for your tongue, everything swelling up inside you, chest fit to burst.

en	You didn't know if you could admit how you were feeling to him. It almost felt too personal, it felt wrong, it felt harsh.

en	"I feel... strange. That's the simplest way I can put it."

en	He looked at you a moment, eyebrow cocked, unimpressed.

en	"Lay it on me."

en	"Huh?"

en	"Lay it on me! Ah wanna know what you're thinkin', I know you've got stuff on your mind you ain't telling me."

en	You blew through your lips with a sigh, thinking about whether you should. He was right after all.

en	You don't have to hide how you feel anymore. If you were honest you didn't want to keep hiding it.

en	"I'm scared, I guess. I don't know what the Hell I'm supposed to be doing, what I'm going to do next."

en	"Everyone at the saloon was asking us about plans and I realised I don't have any. I didn't think that far ahead."

en	"Now we're here I don't know what to do."

en	"I feel like an animal that's been let out of its cage and gotten lost in the wilderness."

en	"But what are ya scared of? What's the worst that could happen?"

en	"I don't know! That's why I'm scared! What if I do the wrong thing, make the wrong decision?"

en	"What if I decide to settle down in Clemency like Sheriff said, and I don't like it. Where would I go?"

en	"I've had so much of my life... wasted running with Curly."

en	"I don't wanna lose more of it to bad decisions. I've made too many of those."

en	"I don't wanna waste my life either. We can make those choices together now, though. We can turn over a new leaf."

en	"I know we could but... I'm worried about you too."

en	"I was talking with Jacob and Bartholomew and I realised I don't know you. I don't know anything about you."

en	"You don't know me either."

en	Joseph's face was solemn. He just stared into your eyes, like he was trying to unpick some meaning from your expression.

en	"I've done horrible things Joseph."

en	"So have I."

en	"I don't know that I like the person I've become after Curly. I don't trust myself."

en	"You did what ya needed to stay alive. You don't have to like it."

en	You were growing frustrated with his rebuttals, like he wasn't listening to you. You twisted your body round, one leg up, facing him head on.

en	"I love you. And I'm scared of hurting you."

en	"I'm scared that the man who could hurt Curly is the same man that could hurt you."

en	"I'm scared that if we really knew each other, we wouldn't be here in the first place."

en	The wind whistled in your ears. Joseph's face was still, eyes squinted a little, contemplating your words.

en	A few moments passed before he opened his beak to speak.

en	"I love you too. And I'm not scared of you."

en	"I wanna find out who you are, and hope ah have the courage to let you find out who I am."

en	"I'm scared as all hell too. Ah know what you mean, now that I'm free of the gang, I don't know what to do with myself."

en	"All I know is I wanna be with you. Maybe we'll make bad choices, but who cares?"

en	"You helped show me ah don't have to live my life in fear, $Player."

en	"I think if we're scared it means we have our heads screwed on right, but it doesn't hafta stop us from livin'."

en	"We can make whatever mistakes we want. We can stay in Clemency forever, we can go travelling the country, I don't give a hoot."

en	"Tonight ain't the night to worry about the rest of your life."

en	"Whatever happens to us, if I can kiss yer face at the end of the day, then everything will be alright."

en	A great wave of relief washed over you as Joseph spoke. You didn't realise how much you'd needed to hear that from him.

en	"A kiss and a prayer?"

en	He laughed.

en	"Yeah. On a kiss and a prayer, we'll be just fine."

en	"Story of our lives, huh."

en	He leaned in and pecked you on the cheek, bringing a blush of warmth to them that even the night breeze could not cool.

en	"Seems pretty good to me."

en	"Now come on, let's get on back down there and have a good time."

en	"Ah think someone said they were gonna dust off that ol' piano and play us all a tune."

en	He made to stand up but you reached out, placing your hand over his.

en	"Wait."

en	"Is it alright if we just sit here a little longer? Then we can go down."

en	"It's a nice night is all."

en	He smiled, eyes softly tilting to the sky, looking to the stars.

en	"Sure is. You wanna stay here a spell, that's just fine by me."

en	As he settled back down he scooted over closer to you, shoulder to shoulder, and you tilted your head to rest on him.

en	You slipped your hand into his, and he held yours tightly, squeezing back between your fingers.

en	The night may be cold, but he was all the warmth you'd need.

en	You've spent so long looking out for yourself, looking out for people who didn't care about you.

en	Now you can look out for each other.

en	That's the end, thank you for playing Lookouts!

en	This has been a huge project for both of us and we're super proud and happy we've been able to share it with you after so long.

en	If you enjoyed the game, please leave a comment or rating on GameJolt, twitter, whatever! We love hearing from people about their time with the game.

en	If you enjoyed the game, please leave a comment or rating on itchio, twitter, whatever! We love hearing from people about their time with the game.

en	If you'd like to support us so we can keep making games, you should check out the paid Gold Edition. It's only £5/$6.50 on GameJolt!

en	If you'd like to support us so we can keep making games, you should check out the paid Gold Edition. It's only £5/$6.50 on itchio!

en	The Gold Edition comes with a bunch of stuff like the full soundtrack, loads of original art and doodles, wallpapers for desktop and mobile, and a development artbook!

en	Once again thank you for playing, from the bottom of our hearts. You can click the button that'll pop up on the next screen to restart the game.

en	<3 Col and Hawky

en	To The Start

en	Woah! You found us!

en	Whoa! Good job!

en	This is our humble little room where we made the game.

en	Or something like it at least.

en	Welcome to our twisted mind palace >:))

en	You can click around and check things out! Clickity click!

en	Just please don't tell Bart we're in here.

en	Yeah please don't tell Bart.

en	please please please please please please

en	Huh, looks a lil sus.

en	Oh it'sa the big dumpy. The amogus pillow my beloved.

en	Or your beloved I guess.

en	Saves me from gamer back because I just work from my bed!

en	You fell asleep on this thing so many times sdgjsdgosdjdfh

en	At uni I would fall asleep on this upright with my laptop open.

en	And when I woke up I'd go straight back to work!

en	Uni was very healthy for us. Not really obviously, fuck uni.

en	Yeah, fuck uni.

en	handshake meme but its me and you and bad unis that fucked us up

en	Col got this little Apollo figurine for me off ebay and I treasure it with my life :pleading:

en	It's some sort of Japanese blind box or smth?? That the ebay seller had imported, it seemed quite lucky to find.

en	We tried getting smth like this when I was a kid but they never arrived :((

en	I live vicariously through you, brother.

en	And now my bird husband sits on my shelf :)

en	I think an ex gave me this?

en	I stopped talking to them bc they were annoying and kept getting crumbs all over my bed like a caveman.

en	But I could never stop talking to Blahaj :))

en	It's just another comfy friend. Gay people love blahaj we know this.

en	Hey Hawky how many rams does your pc have

en	Idk but a few months after I first got this computer literally all the ram died and I had to send it back to get fixed LOL

en	This was the computer I spent most of Lookouts development on, where it all started. It's been through a lot with me, I got it when I was 16.

en	When I was in primary school there was a joke where kids would ask you if you had a pc and if you said yes they'd laugh at you and say "plastic cock".

en	Yeah that was not a thing anywhere else your classmates were just like that i guess

en	I fully thought this was a universal kinda thing but no, only Colin.

en	Col had so much cream soda in his room oh my god.

en	I love Barr brand cream soda so much and my mum is worried.

en	You left the window open at night to keep it cool because Scotland is just like that.

en	But it meant I was always cold too ;v;

en	Put a jumper on, I'm not having a warm sodie pop.

en	It is very good though......

en	Creamy Creamy Creamy Creamy Creamy Creamy Creamy MMM SO GOOD!

en	This poster's the bane of my life but I can't do anything about it.

en	It just hangs on my wall being cringe and impossible to avoid in any photos of my bedroom.

en	My boyfriend makes fun of me for it all the time asdgjisodgjo

en	I pointed at this and laughed in Hawky's face when I saw it too.

en	I never asked for it!!

en	Get a new poster, cringeass!!!

en	This is maybe the least cringe thing I own?

en	It's one of those This is Fine dog plush toys they made for a while.

en	K.C. Green is cool, they responded to an email I sent them about one of their comics a while ago haha.

en	Wait what, what did they say??

en	I asked about the ambiguous gender of a character in one of their comics and they responded that they were indeed a non-binary character, so that was cool!

en	He was very very nice with his response ;v;

en	Chad.

en	Grrrrrrr

en	Oh hello Frankie!!

en	This is my dog!! He's such a good and sweet boy!

en	He's a good boy who growls at everyone but not aggressively. It's like purring or something.

en	He's just a weirdo.

en	Yeah he's craaaaaazy. Love him!

en	*He's wagging his tail now but is still growling*

en	This is my big wife!

en	I love her so much.

en	The big garf wife that sits on your bed.

en	She watches me sleep!

en	I rested my head on it a lot during the end of development when sitting on your bed lol

en	Where did you get the big garfield again?

en	I got my wife on ebay like any normal person does

en	(Wif)ebay

en	Ebay is good fuck amazon lol amazon got no bitches

en	I uh, really like vintage garfields...

en	During the pandemic I had a phase of bidding on them on Ebay because they're so cheap.

en	Honestly I couldn't bring myself to draw as many as I actually have, I have 5 industrial sized boxes of vintage garf plushies alone.

en	There's lots on the shelf at my home too. Nowhere escapes them. Not that I'm complaining.

en	Oh my god I left Daddy Cool Garfield at your house!!!! Noooooooo!!!!!!!

en	I bought a big bottle of Irn Bru but despite being Scottish no one in Col's family likes it so I had to drink the whole thing myself.

en	All part of the plan B)

en	Tastes like blood...

en	This is another little figurine of mine, it's Jotaro Kujo. I... don't even remember where I got it in the first place.

en	It might've been one of the few anime cons I went to in The Before Times.

en	I went to an anime con once and someone dressed as the weird chef from danganronpa stole my partner so I've never been back out of spite.

en	I have however convinced Col to start watching Jojo, we've almost finished part 5 as of time of writing.

en	I don't watch much anime but I gotta say... these bitches gay! Good for them!

en	I tried sitting in this chair at the desk but it's such fucking hard wood even with a cushion on it my ass hurt after a couple of hours.

en	We had an actual desk chair before I moved out for uni and they replaced it because it "didn't go with the decor".

en	WHAT

en	And now we can't afford a new desk chair :((

en	Every purchase of Lookouts: Gold Edition brings me one step closer to having an actual desk chair, please, in this time of need, think of Hawky's ass <3

en	I used to smoke cigarettes but Hawky made me stop because it "is bad for me" or something.

en	So now I blow vape puff puffs in his eyes.

en	Ah my eyes! They're so minty!

en	My child, it's time for me to take a fat rip!

en	There's always a tangle of wires by Col's bed. It's like a snake pit.

en	I need all these wires for my funny little devices!

en	Like my laptop and my phone and to charge the tiny vacuum to clean up all the fucking hair I shed.

en	There was one casualty of the wires when he spilt a mug of coffee on the carpet lmao

en	I soaked it all up and hoped to GOD your mum did not notice.

en	Tbf you did get all of it, I can't see where it happened at all. Cleaner skills.

en	Working a summer as a cleaner at [REDACTED] really came in clutch! Even if they did take away our water because we didn't work fast enough.

en	I've heard your horror stories about that place so many times but they never stop being fucked up.

en	Being a furry artist on funni game projects with my best bro keeps me out of working at [REDACTED], so thank you! The person reading this right now!

en	Yes, thank you!

en	Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

en	Oh going so soon? Well thanks for stopping by.

en	Yeah tysm! We love having people round, just don't tell Bart!

en	Don't tell me what now?

en	Gasp!

en	Wh- what's- You two again? Get outta here! Go on, scram!

en	Ok byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

en	...

en	Well.

en	I think we can both agree that was a lil' strange. I don't know how those two got into my store room or... what all these knicknacks are.

en	Let's just get back to where we were and not talk about this again, shall we? Our little secret.

en	Settings

en	Music Volume

en	Sound Volume

en	Fullscreen

en	Resolution

en	Screen Reader

en	Font

en	Textbox Palette

en	Text Speed

en	Auto Forward

en	Auto Forward Time

en	Save

en	Load

en	Are you sure you want to delete all saves?

en	Slot {0}
en	Slot {0} - {1}

en	Clear Saves

en	Languages

en	Do you want to overwrite this save?

en	Quit

en	Are you sure you wish to quit?

en	Language

en	History

en	Fast Forward

en	This is some example text to display in the box.

en	This is more, longer example text. This box lets you see the different text speeds, fonts, and colour palettes available.

en	{0} secs

en	{0} sec

en	Slow

en	Normal

en	Fast

en	Faster

en	Fasterer

en	Very fast

en	Near-instant

en	Instant

en	Default

en	Pixel

en	Plain

en	Black, Brown

en	Black, White

en	White, Black

en	Hit

en	Stand

en	You\n{0}

en	Dealer\n{0}

en	Your name?

en	Enter name...

en	OK

en	Get me outta here!!!!!

en	Credits\n\n<size=12>Programming and Narrative - Hawky <link="https://twitter.com/ParanoidHawk">@ParanoidHawk</link>\n\nArt and Character Design - Colin <link="https://twitter.com/Coldoggo">@Coldoggo</link>\n\nMusic - Jamie <link="https://twitter.com/fakegamercomics">@fakegamercomics</link>\n\nSound effects:\nFree sound effects from <link="https://www.fesliyanstudios.com">fesliyanstudios.com</link>\nStill North Media\nFreesound.org users:\nIanM_56\nkangaroovindaloo\nTRP\nUnderlinedDesigns\n\nOur wonderful beta testers:\nMike <link="https://twitter.com/Nenekiri_Dragon">@Nenekiri_Dragon</link>\nClawe <link="https://twitter.com/clawepolish">@clawepolish</link>\nBasil <link="https://twitter.com/BasilKuna">@BasilKuna</link>\nMint <link="https://twitter.com/jellicores">@jellicores</link>\nGunsparce <link="https://twitter.com/actuallyagun">@actuallyagun</link>\n\nAll our love to our friends and family and partners who supported us and made it possible for us to make this gay little game. You mean the world to us <3</size>

en	You've got the {0} and {1}, making your total {2}.

en	A natural!

en	Dealer's face up card is the {0}, making his current total {1}.

en	You draw the {0}.
en	{0},

en	Total is now {0}.

en	Push! No one wins, go again.

en	Dealer's bust! You win this round.

en	Your total is higher! You win this round.

en	You're bust! Dealer wins this round.

en	Dealer's total is higher! Dealer wins this round.

en	Ran out of cards... Joseph quickly shuffles the discard pile back into the deck.

en	ace of diamonds

en	two of diamonds

en	three of diamonds

en	four of diamonds

en	five of diamonds

en	six of diamonds

en	seven of diamonds

en	eight of diamonds

en	nine of diamonds

en	ten of diamonds

en	jack of diamonds

en	queen of diamonds

en	king of diamonds

en	ace of hearts

en	two of hearts

en	three of hearts

en	four of hearts

en	five of hearts

en	six of hearts

en	seven of hearts

en	eight of hearts

en	nine of hearts

en	ten of hearts

en	jack of hearts

en	queen of hearts

en	king of hearts

en	ace of clubs

en	two of clubs

en	three of clubs

en	four of clubs

en	five of clubs

en	six of clubs

en	seven of clubs

en	eight of clubs

en	nine of clubs

en	ten of clubs

en	jack of clubs

en	queen of clubs

en	king of clubs

en	ace of spades

en	two of spades

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en	four of spades

en	five of spades

en	six of spades

en	seven of spades

en	eight of spades

en	nine of spades

en	ten of spades

en	jack of spades

en	queen of spades

en	king of spades

en	You

en	You draw the {0}.+Total is now {0}.

en	Dealer's hand is the {0},+{0},+and {0},+making his total {0}.