en	Min-seo

en	Jun-seo

en	Akarsha

en	Dog
pl	Pies

en	npc

en	npc2

en	The summer between 3rd and 4th grade
pl	Lato między 3. i 4. klasą

en	Evil Dragon
pl	Zły smok

en	Once upon a time...
pl	Dawno, dawno temu...

en	There lived a princess called Min-seo.
pl	Żyła sobie księżniczka o imieniu Min-seo.

en	She liked weapons. Everyone was terrified of her.
pl	Uwielbiała broń. Wszyscy się jej bali.

en	She'd threaten you with knives and steal and break your things.
pl	Groziła nożami, kradła i psuła różne rzeczy.

en	She always got sent to the principal's office because she was bad.
pl	Zawsze wysyłali ją do dyrektora, bo była zła.

en	Still,{w=0.35} she was a lovely princess. {w=0.35}And tragically, {w=0.35}she was cursed to prick her finger on a spindle and die.
pl	Ale{w=0.35} była uroczą księżniczką. {w=0.35}I tragicznie {w=0.35}została przeklęta by ukłuć się w palec wrzecionem i umrzeć.

en	Sure enough...One day, {w=0.2}like a total idiot,{w=0.2} she touched one.
pl	i oczywiście... Pewnego dnia, {w=0.2}jak kompletna idiotka,{w=0.2} dotknęła wrzeciona.

en	And she fell into a deep, death-like slumber.
pl	Zapadła w głęboki sen.

en	Or at least, she was supposed to.{w=0.35} Instead, the princess sat up abruptly and said:
pl	A raczej powinna była.{w=0.35} Zamiast tego księżniczka wstała nagle i powiedziała:

en	{big=16}THIS IS THE WORST STORY IN HISTORY!{/big}
pl	{big=16}TO JEST NAJGORSZA HISTORIA NA ŚWIECIE!{/big}

en	{big=20}I'M ESCAPING!{/big}
pl	{big=20}UCIEKAM!{/big}

en	Wait!
pl	Czekaj!

en	Min, that's not how it goes!
pl	Min, to nie tak miało być!

en	I'm right here!{w=0.35} The evil dragon!
pl	To ja!{w=0.35} Zły smok!

en	I killed you already!
pl	Już cię zabiłam!

en	Haaaah?{w=0.35} With what?
pl	Huuuuh?{w=0.35} Niby czym?

en	{big=+20}A GUN!{/big}
pl	{big=+20}PISTOLETEM!{/big}

en	You don't have a gun!
pl	Ty przecież nie masz pistoletu!

en	{big=+20}I MADE ONE OUT OF ROCKS!{/big}
pl	{big=+20}ZROBIŁAM SOBIE Z KAMIENI!{/big}

en	{cps=25}...... {/cps}

en	The hero has arrived!{w=0.35} As Min-seo's twin, he's trying to reason with her!
pl	Przybył bohater!{w=0.35} Jako brat bliźniak Min-seo, próbuje ją przekonać!

en	{cps=35}Min... {w=0.35}that's impossible... {/cps}
pl	{cps=35}Min... {w=0.35}to niemożliwe... {/cps}

en	Who cares!
pl	Kogo to obchodzi!

en	If I have a gun,{w=0.35} I win!
pl	Skoro mam pistolet,{w=0.35} to wygrałam!

en	{slower}...... {/slower}

en	{slower}...... {/slower}

en	{slower}...... {/slower}

en	It's difficult to argue against Min's brand of logic.
pl	Trudno się spierać z logiką Min.

en	Okay, you win... {w=0.35}Let's just start over...
pl	OK, wygrałaś... {w=0.35} Po prostu zacznijmy od początku...

en	This time someone else be the princess!{w=0.35} Not me!
pl	Tym razem niech ktoś inny będzie księżniczką!{w=0.35} Nie ja!

en	I'm the only girl left, so I guess that's me...
pl	Jestem jedyną dziewczyną prócz ciebie, więc to chyba będę ja...

en	Fine. Diya does seem more like the princess type anyway.
pl	Dobra. I tak Diya wygląda bardziej na typ księżniczki.

en	What's that supposed to mean.
pl	Co niby chcesz przez to powiedzieć.

en	You're really pretty.
pl	Jesteś bardzo ładna.

en	And it's cute how your hair curls like that. {w=0.35} It makes you look like a princess.
pl	I uroczo ci się układają włosy. {w=0.35} Wyglądasz przez to jak księżniczka.

en	Uh, {w=0.35} I just meant that she's less violent.
pl	Uh, {w=0.35} Chodziło mi o to że jest mniej agresywna.

en	But whatever...
pl	Ale okay...

en	— 2nd Try —
pl	— Próba nr2 —

en	Once upon a time...
pl	Dawno, dawno temu...

en	There lived a girl named Diya.
pl	Żyła sobie dziewczyna o imieniu Diya.

en	She was really quiet.
pl	Była bardzo cicha.

en	It wasn't that she had nothing to say. {w=0.35}It was more like...
pl	Nie dlatego, że nie miała nic do powiedzenia. {w=0.35} Bardziej bo...

en	She was afraid if she opened her mouth,{w=0.35} something would come out that shouldn't.
pl	Bała się, że jeśli otworzy usta, {w=0.35} to powie coś czego nie powinna.

en	She once held onto an apple core for 45 minutes because she didn't want people to see her walk across the classroom to the trash can.
pl	Trzymała kiedyś ogryzek po jabłku przez 45 minut, bo nie chciała by inni na nią patrzyli gdy idzie je wyrzucić.

en	It was that kind of quiet.
pl	To był taki rodzaj cichości.

en	She was also insanely athletic.{w=0.35} There were rumors that under her shirt, she had a six-pack.
pl	Była również niewyobrażalnie wysportowana.{w=0.35} Chodziły słuchy, że miała sześciopak.

en	Tragically,{w=0.35} despite how buff she was, {w=0.35} this princess was also cursed to touch a spindle and die.
pl	Niestety,{w=0.35} pomimo jej siły, {w=0.35} ta księżniczka została przeklęta, by ukłuć się wrzecionem i umrzeć.

en	And one day, {w=0.2}like a total idiot,{w=0.2} she touched one.
pl	Pewnego dnia, {w=0.2}jak skończona idiotka, {w=0.2} dotknęła jednego.

en	And she fell into a deep, death-like slumber.
pl	I zapadła w głęboki jak śmierć sen.

en	Nothing could break the spell but her true love's kiss.
pl	Nic nie mogło zdjąć klątwy poza pocałunkiem prawdziwej miłości.

en	For many years, she —
pl	Przez wiele lat —

en	Diya,{w=0.2} get up! {w=0.35}I'm here to rescue you!
pl	Diya,{w=0.2} wstawaj! {w=0.35} Przybyłam cię uratować!

en	Hahah!!{w=0.35} Only the hero can wake her!
pl	Hahah!!{w=0.35} Tylko bohater może ją obudzić!

en	That's me! {w=0.35}I'm the hero!!
pl	To ja! {w=0.35} Ja jestem bohaterem!

en	{cps=30}Wait,{w=0.35} no...?{/cps}{w=0.35} It's supposed to be Jun-seo!
pl	{cps=30}Czekaj,{w=0.35} nie...?{/cps}{w=0.35} To Jun-seo miał być bohaterem!

en	{big=+20}NO!{w=0.35} IT'S ME!!{/big}
pl	{big=+20}NIE!{w=0.35} JA NIM JESTEM!{/big}

en	Huh?{w=0.35} But if you're the hero, {w=0.35}then what am I?
pl	Huh?{w=0.35} Ale jeśli ty jesteś bohaterem, {w=0.35}to kim ja jestem?

en	A{cps=20}... {/cps}{w=0.35}{big=+20}GUN!{/big}
pl	A{cps=20}... {/cps}{w=0.35}{big=+20}PISTOLETEM!{/big}

en	Gun(?)
pl	Pistoletem(?)

en	What?!
pl	Co?!

en	Min grabs Jun's arm and aims it at the dragon!
pl	Min bierze za ramię Juna i mierzy nim w smoka!

en	BANG!{w=0.35} You're dead!
pl	BAM!{w=0.35} Nie żyjesz!

en	Nice try! {w=0.35} But I deflected the bullet with my {i}own{/i} bullet!
pl	Niezła próba! {w=0.35} Ale odbiłem kulę {i}swoim własnym{/i} pociskiem!

en	I have a gun too!
pl	Ja też mam broń!

en	Gun
pl	Pistolet

en	{i}Why?!{/i}{w=0.35} You're a dragon!
pl	{i}Czemu?!{/i}{w=0.35} Jesteś przecież smokiem!

en	This is America! {w=0.35}Everyone has a gun!
pl	To Ameryka! {w=0.35}Wszyscy tu mają broń!

en	Diya rises to her feet.
pl	Diya wstaje z ziemi.

en	I also have a gun.
pl	Ja też mam broń.

en	Shoot the dragon
pl	Strzel w smoka

en	Shoot Min
pl	Strzel w Min

en	Shoot Jun
pl	Strzel w Juna

en	Shoot the deflected bullet
pl	Strzel w odbitą kulę

en	Bang.
pl	Bam.

en	Dead.
pl	Martwy.

en	Bang.
pl	Bam.

en	Min's dead.
pl	Min nie żyje.

en	Min looks very hurt...
pl	Min wygląda na bardzo urażoną...

en	Why? I'm here to rescue you.
pl	Czemu? Przyszłam cię uratować.

en	Don't want to be rescued.
pl	Nie chcę być ratowana.

en	I can save myself.
pl	Sama się mogę uratować.

en	But if we do it together, it'll be more fun.
pl	Ale jeśli zrobimy to razem, to będzie fajniej.

en	We can ride off into the sunset on my horse.
pl	Możemy odjechać na moim koniu w stronę zachodzącego słońca.

en	What sunset...
pl	Jakiego zachodu słońca...

en	What horse?
pl	Jakim koniu?

en	You.
pl	Ty.

en	Gun Horse
pl	Koń-pistolet

en	Me?!
pl	Ja?!

en	That does sound pretty cool...
pl	Brzmi to bardzo fajnie...

en	Changed my mind.
pl	Zmieniłam zdanie.

en	Bang. Shot the dragon instead.
pl	Bam. Zastrzeliłam jednak smoka.

en	Bang.
pl	Bam.

en	Jun's dead.
pl	Jun nie żyje.

en	But I'm a gun...
pl	Ale ja jestem pistoletem...

en	Then you broke in half.
pl	To się złamałeś w pół.

en	In half?!
pl	W pół?!

en	That's harsh, dude.
pl	Trochę za ostro, mordo.

en	I used the last of Jun's energy to shoot you again!
pl	Używał ostatnie resztki siły Juna i strzelam w ciebie ponownie!

en	DEAD.
pl	UMARŁEŚ.

en	Deflected the deflected bullet with my own bullet.
pl	Odbiłem kulę swoją własną.

en	So Min's original bullet is going toward him again.
pl	Więc pocisk Min znów w ciebie leci.

en	That's...{w=0.35} unnecessarily complicated.
pl	To...{w=0.35} niepotrzebnie skomplikowane.

en	Why didn't you just shoot him directly...?
pl	Czemu po prostu w niego nie strzeliłaś?

en	This way is cooler!!!
pl	Bo tak jest fajniej!!!

en	Yeah.
pl	Dokładnie.

en	{cps=20}Nice try... {/cps}{w=0.35}{i}but too bad!{/i} {w=0.35}The bullet bounces off me!
pl	{cps=20}Niezła próba... {cps=20}{w=0.35}{i}ale nic z tego!{/i} {w=0.35}Kula się ode mnie odbija!

en	How is that possible.
pl	Jakim cudem jest to możliwe.

en	My dragon scales are stronger than tank armor!
pl	Moje łuski są mocniejsze od pancernej zbroi!

en	Take that!
pl	Przebij to!

en	Maybe we can resolve this without fighting, then...
pl	Możemy rozwiązać tą sytuację bez walki, wtedy...

en	Let's talk it ov—
pl	Możemy to przegad—

en	{big=+20}VIOLENCE SOLVES EVERYTHING!{/big}
pl	{big=+20}PRZEMOC ROZWIĄŻE WSZYSTKO!{/big}

en	{big=+20}I'M MAKING A NEW GUN WITH ROCKS!{/big}
pl	{big=+20}ROBIĘ NOWY PISTOLET Z KAMIENI!{/big}

en	Are you replacing me...?
pl	Zastąpisz mnie...?

en	Yeah! {w=0.35}Sorry!
pl	Tak! {w=0.35}Sory!

en	BANG!{w=0.35} Dragon's dead!
pl	BAM!{w=0.35} Smok nie żyje!

en	Uh, did you forget?{w=0.35} I'm bulletproof.
pl	Uh, zapomniałaś?{w=0.35} Jestem kuloodporny.

en	But my gun didn't shoot a bullet!
pl	Ale mój pistolet nie wystrzelił kulę!

en	My gun shot{cps=20}... {/cps}
pl	Mój pistolet wystrzelił{cps=20}... {/cps}

en	A SMALLER GUN!
pl	MNIEJSZY PISTOLET!

en	{big=+14}...WHICH SHOT A KNIFE!!{/big}
pl	{big=+14}...KTÓRY WYSTRZELIŁ NÓŻ!!{/big}

en	{big=+20}...WHICH EXPLODED!!!{/big}
pl	{big=+20}...KTÓRY WYBUCHNĄŁ!!!{/big}

en	{cps=25}...... {/cps}

en	{cps=25}...... {/cps}

en	{cps=25}...... {/cps}

en	What was the point of the smaller gun in the middle?
pl	To po co wystrzeliłaś mniejszy pistolet?

en	It's there to shoot the knife!
pl	Żeby wystrzelić nóż!

en	No, {w=0.2}but why couldn't the original gun shoot the knife?
pl	Nie, {w=0.2}ale czemu nie mogłaś go wystrzelić z pierwszego?

en	Min gives Jun an incredulous look.
pl	Min patrzy na Juna z niedowierzeniem.

en	Because it was shooting out the smaller gun.
pl	Bo wytrzelił mniejszy pistolet.

en	{cps=25}...never mind... {/cps}
pl	{cps=25}...nieważne... {/cps}

en	Okay, so let's say my elbow is injured now.
pl	Ok, powiedzmy że zraniłaś mnie w łokieć.

en	So if you touch that, I lose.
pl	Więc jeśli go dotkniesz to przegram.

en	RRRAUUGH!!!!
pl	RRRAUUHH!!!!

en	Min lunges at him!
pl	Min rzuca się na niego!

en	He sidesteps and darts up the steps to the slide!
pl	Wymija ją i biegnie po schodach w stronę zjeżdżalni!

en	When Min catches up, he spins so his back is to the wall.
pl	Kiedy Min go dogania, odwraca się dotykając plecami ścianę.

en	She looks like she's having trouble...
pl	Wygląda jakby potrzebowała pomocy...

en	Do you need help?
pl	Pomożesz Min?

en	What?!{w=0.2} No!
pl	Co?!{w=0.2} Nie!

en	The evil dragon feints to the right.{w=0.2} Min falls for it and he rushes past her,{w=0.2} back the way he came.
pl	Zły smok celuje w prawo.{w=0.2} Min daje się nabrać, a on omija ją,{w=0.2}biegnąc z powrotem.

en	!

en	Min trips and face plants on the bridge!
pl	Min upada twarzą w ziemię!

en	...!!!!!!!!

en	Before Min can see, Diya quickly picks the evil dragon up and hurls him off the playground structure like a sack of potatoes.
pl	Zanim Min może cokolwiek zobaczyć, Diya szybko podnosi złego smoka i zrzuca go z struktury jak worek ziemniaków.

en	Waugh?!!
pl	Augh?!!

en	Wait, you're the princess! You can't just do that.
pl	Czekaj, jesteś księżniczką! Nie możesz tak zrobić.

en	................

en	Diya throws him off the playground structure, too.
pl	Diya zrzuca też jego.

en	As he disappears over the edge, Min pulls herself back to her feet.
pl	Gdy znika za barierką, Min wstaje z ziemi.

en	Where is everyone?
pl	Gdzie są wszyscy?

en	They.......balcony collapsed.
pl	Oni.......balkon się zapadł.

en	Castle is under construction.
pl	Zamek jest w trakcie budowy.

en	Yeah!!!
pl	Taak!!

en	Heheheh!!!{w=0.35} I rescued you!
pl	Heheheh!!!{w=0.35} Uratowałam cię!

en	My hero.
pl	Mój bohaterze.

en	Yeah!{w=0.35} I'm your hero!!
pl	Dokładnie!{w=0.35} To ja jestem twoim bohaterem!

en	Min is struggling to princess carry Diya down the slide with her.
pl	Min próbuje z trudem znieść Diyę na rękach.

en	Diya could destroy her in a single punch if she wanted to, but she's patiently going along with it.
pl	Diya mogłaby ją powalić jednym ciosem jeśliby chciała, ale z cierpliwością czeka aż zostaje zniesiona.

en	I owe you my life. How can I repay you.
pl	Daruję ci życie. Jak mogę się odwdzięczyć.

en	You can... {w=0.35}r-repay me with a ki—
pl	Mogłabyś... {w=0.35}o-odwdzięczyć mi się poc—

en	*THUD*
pl	*ŁUP*

en	................

en	................

en	My name is Diya.
pl	Nazywam się Diya.

en	...I don't really know what else to say about myself. I'm pretty boring.
pl	...Nie wiem co jeszcze mogę o sobie powiedzieć. Jestem dość nudna.

en	The other girl is Min-seo. Everyone calls her Min.
pl	Ta druga dziewczyna to Min-seo. Wszyscy do niej mówią Min.

en	She's so cool.
pl	Jest taka fajna.

en	Do you see that thing on her arm? {w=0.35} She drew a giant dagger on it with Sharpie,{w=0.35} like a tattoo.
pl	Widzicie to na jej ramieniu? {w=0.35} Narysowała sobie ogromny sztylet markerem,{w=0.35} jak tatuaż.

en	And in class, she makes ninja stars out of binder paper and throws them at people.
pl	W klasie robi gwiazdki ninja z papieru i rzuca nimi w ludzi.

en	She stamps them with staples so they hurt more.
pl	Dodaje do nich zszywki, żeby bardziej bolały.

en	But she never throws them at me.
pl	Ale nigdy ich we mnie nie rzuca.

en	I think it's mainly because I'm the only other girl she knows who likes baseball.
pl	Myślę, że to głownie przez fakt, że jestem jedyną dziewczyną, która poza nią lubi baseball.

en	We both used to think we were the only one in the world. So we were both really excited to meet each other.
pl	Myślałyśmy, że jesteśmy jedyne. Dlatego obie byłyśmy podekscytowane, gdy się poznałyśmy.

en	I really like her.
pl	Bardzo ją lubię.

en	Watching the pros play baseball always makes me so jealous.
pl	Zazdroszczę profesjonalnym zawodnikom.

en	It must be so fun, being on a real team like that.
pl	Ale to musi być zabawa, być w prawdziwej drużynie.

en	The catcher's gone up to the mound for a conference with his pitcher.
pl	Łapacz idzie do kopca porozmawiać ze swoim miotaczem.

en	For secrecy's sake,{w=0.10} they're talking with their gloves over their mouths.
pl	W ramach zachowania sekretu{w=0.10} mówią, zakrywając usta rękawicą.

en	Someday,{w=0.10} that's gonna be us.
pl	Kiedyś{w=0.10} to będziemy my.

en	...?

en	Wait,{w=0.10} what?{w=0.26} But how.
pl	Czekaj,{w=0.10} co?{w=0.26} Ale jak.

en	Your parents won't even let you join my team 'cause you're a girl.
pl	Twoi rodzice nie pozwolą ci dołączyć do mojej drużyny, bo jesteś dziewczyną.

en	Besides,{w=0.10} when I grow up I'll be a doctor or engineer.
pl	Poza tym{w=0.10} kiedy dorosnę, to zostanę lekarzem albo inżynierem.

en	Huh? {w=0.26}How come?
pl	Huh? {w=0.26} Czemu?

en	My parents said so.
pl	Moi rodzice tak stwierdzili.

en	So? {w=0.26}My parents said to pass my math test,{w=0.10} and I failed!
pl	No i? {w=0.26} Moi rodzice powiedzieli mi, żebym zaliczyła test z matmy,{w=0.26} a go oblałam!

en	That's...{w=0.26}not something to be proud of.
pl	To...{w=0.26}nie za dobry powód do dumy.

en	I don't know how you do it. I wouldn't be able to handle disappointing my parents like that.
pl	Nie wiem jak ty to robisz. Ja nie mogłabym znieść świadomości, że zawiodłam swoich rodziców.

en	It's like, my worst fear.
pl	To mój największy lęk.

en	If your worst fear is disappointing your parents, that means your parents effed up.
pl	Jeśli twoim najgorszym koszmarem jest zawieść rodziców, to twoi rodzice muszą być powaleni.

en	You should be able to do what you want without worrying about what they think.
pl	Powinna móc robić co tylko ci się podoba, bez obawy przed tym co powiedzą.

en	I don't know. That seems selfish.
pl	No nie wiem. Trochę to samolubne.

en	It's not selfish to choose your own destiny.
pl	Wybór swojego przeznaczenia nie wydaje się czymś samolubny.

en	Right now, we're at the Oakland Coliseum with Min's dad and Jun.
pl	W tej chwili, jesteśmy w Oakland Coliseum z tatą Min i Junem.

en	I guess I should explain where Oakland is, to people who don't live in California.
pl	Chyba powinnam wytłumaczyć gdzie leży Oakland, dla osób co nie żyją w Californii.

en	Do you know where San Francisco is?
pl	Wiecie gdzie jest San Francisco?

en	Well, we're not there. We're like 30 minutes from there.
pl	Jesteśmy jakieś pół godziny drogi dalej.

en	...Hey, Diya.
pl	...Hej, Diya.

en	...?

en	I have something I need to tell you. Something important.
pl	Muszę ci coś powiedzieć. To bardzo ważne.

en	I........uh............
pl	Ja........uh............

en	{slow}................. {/slow}
pl	{slow}................ {/slow}

en	....Never mind.{w=0.26} Forget it.
pl	....nieważne.{w=0.26} Zapomnij o tym.

en	{slow}???????{/slow}
pl	{slow}??????{/slow}

en	I SAID FORGET IT!{w=0.26} DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!
pl	POWIEDZIAŁAM NIEWAŻNE!{w=0.26} NIE PRZEJMUJ SIĘ TYM!

en	Aren't you having fun right now?!{w=0.26} Are you hungry or anything?
pl	Dobrze się bawisz?!{w=0.26} Może jesteś głodna albo coś?

en	Why are you changing the subject.
pl	Czemu zmieniasz temat.

en	If you're trying to distract me,{w=0.10} it's not gonna work.
pl	Jeśli chcesz mnie rozproszyć,{w=0.10} to nie zadziała.

en	Let's go get popcorn and share!
pl	Kupmy sobie popcorn!

en	!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pl	!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	Popcorn is great!{w=0.26} I like popcorn!
pl	Popcorn jest super!{w=0.26} Uwielbiam popcorn!

en	Min is so nice to me!
pl	Min jest dla mnie taka miła!

en	Just tell me when you're ready to go!{w=0.26} The popcorn guy is a few rows behind us.
pl	Tylko powiedz mi kiedy będziesz gotowa!{w=0.26} Sprzedawca jest parę rzędów za nami.

en	(Use the mouse to interact!)
pl	(Użyj myszki żeby interagować!)

en	Look at woman
pl	Popatrz na kobietę

en	Eat popcorn
pl	Zjedz popcorn

en	Look at the diamond
pl	Popatrz na boisko

en	Look at empty seat
pl	Popatrz na puste siedzenie

en	Talk to Jun
pl	Porozmawiaj z Junem

en	Talk to Min
pl	Porozmawiaj z Min

en	She's cradling something in her arms.
pl	Kołysze coś w ramionach.

en	Dog???
pl	Psa???

en	Diya quickly jogs over to take a look.
pl	Diya podbiega się przyjrzeć.

en	To her severe disappointment, it's a baby.
pl	Ku jej niezmiernemu rozczarowaniu, to dziecko.

en	................

en	I was tricked!!!
pl	Zostałam oszukana!!!

en	Diya eats some popcorn.
pl	Diya zjada trochę popcornu.

en	10/10.{w=0.26} Would eat again.
pl	10/10.{w=0.26} Jadłaby znowu.

en	There's barely any left.
pl	Prawie nic już nie zostało.

en	Most of it exploded out when the ball landed in the tub.
pl	Większość wyleciała, gdy piłka wpadła do pojemnika.

en	Nothing really interesting is happening right now.
pl	Nic ciekawego się teraz nie dzieje.

en	I guess I'll check back later.
pl	Sprawdzę później.

en	I think Min is going for the "Loudest Sound In History" World Record.
pl	Min chyba startuje do tytułu mistrza "Najgłośniejszego Dźwięku w Historii".

en	{big=+20}WHADDYA MEAN "SAFE"!!{w=0.26} YOU NEED TO GET SOME GODDAMN LASER EYE SURGERY!!!{/big}
pl	{big=+20}JAK TO "BEZPIECZNY"!!{w=0.26} POWINIENIEŚ SOBIE ZROBIĆ LASEROWĄ OPERACJĘ OCZU!!!{/big}

en	{big=+20}I HOPE THE PERSON YOU LIKE LIKES SOMEONE ELSE!!!{/big}
pl	{big=+20}LICZĘ, ŻE OSOBA KTÓRĄ LUBISZ, LUBI KOGOŚ INNEGO!!!{/big}

en	{big=+20}GIVE ME A BR{i}EA— {/i}{/big}
pl	{big=+20}DAJCIE SP{i}OK—{/i}{/big}

en	*cough!!!*{w=0.26} *hack!!!*{w=0.26} *wheeze!!!*
pl	*ekhm!!!*{w=0.26} *hhh!!!*{w=0.26} *eukhm!!!*

en	{slow}...?{/slow}
pl	{slow} ...?{/slow}

en	...I choked on my own spit...
pl	...Zakrztusiłam się śliną...

en	She looks absolutely mortified, {w=0.10}so Diya turns back to the diamond and pretends she didn't see anything...
pl	Wygląda na upokorzoną, {w=0.10} więc Diya z powrotem odwraca się w stronę boiska i udaje, że nic nie widziała.

en	Dad
pl	Tata

en	Kid
pl	Dziecko

en	The visiting team is pitching now.
pl	Drużyna gości już gra.

en	{slow}...?{/slow}

en	Whoa.{w=0.26} Some kid behind us is talking to his dad.
pl	Whoa.{w=0.26} Jakiś dzieciak za nami gada z swoim ojcem.

en	Dad,{w=0.10} who's that?
pl	Tato,{w=0.10} kto to?

en	It's Tim Wakefield!{w=0.26} He's a knuckleball pitcher.

en	It's always fun watching these guys.{w=0.26} Knuckleballers are pretty rare.

en	The movement on that pitch is nuts.{w=0.26} Like a butterfly with hiccups.

en	Wow...{w=0.26}Some people actually talk to their parents on purpose...{w=0.26}Like,{w=0.10} for fun...
pl	Wow... Niektórzy ludzie naprawdę specjalnie przychodzą z ich rodzicami .... Jakby, dla zabawy...

en	I can't even imagine it. {w=0.26}Every time I talk to my parents,{w=0.10} it somehow turns into a lecture about something I did wrong.
pl	Nie mogę sobie tego wogóle wyobrazić. Zawsze kiedy rozmawiam z moimi rodzicami, to zawsze kończy się lekturą o tym co zrobiłem źle.

en	So I only talk to them now when I absolutely have to.
pl	Więc rozmawiam z nimi tylko kiedy naprawdę muszę.

en	How come they switched catchers,{w=0.10} too?

en	Because catching a knuckleball is really unpleasant and difficult.

en	If you can do it reasonably well —{w=0.26} no one does it REALLY well — {w=0.26}that one skill can keep you on the team.

en	A lot of knuckleball pitchers end up having one catcher who specializes in catching that pitch just for them.

en	They're called "personal catchers."

en	For instance,{w=0.10} J.C. Martin always caught Hoyt Wilhelm's knuckleball.

en	And Doug Mirabelli always catches Tim Wakefield and his knuckleball for the Red Sox.

en	The two of them even get traded together,{w=0.10} as a set.

en	It's like a weird baseball marriage.

en	{slow}..............{/slow}

en	{slow}..............{/slow}

en	DIYA!!!! I HAVE A GREAT IDEA!!!!!

en	I should learn to throw knuckleball, {w=0.26} and you can catch it for me.

en	Wait. {w=0.26}But didn't they just say it's really hard to catch.

en	So what? {w=0.26}You're like a baseball goddess!

en	You're overestimating me.

en	I'm not that great.

en	I just got lucky that one time.

en	You've "gotten lucky" so many times I don't even know which one you're talking about.

en	No, you don't understand. All those were flukes.

en	They just happened by chance. I don't have a special technique or anything.

en	Your special technique is being you.

en	You're the best.

en	You're putting too much faith in me.

en	I'm not that good.

en	When you see what I'm really like, you'll be like, "That's it?"

en	I'll never think that!

en	Even if I could catch it, are you really willing to be a pitcher?

en	Why not? {w=0.26}The pitcher is the coolest.

en	You're so brave. {w=0.26}I hate pitching.

en	Why? {w=0.26}You get to stand on the mound and kick ass in front of everyone.

en	But that's exactly why.

en	I don't want people watching every move I make.

en	Especially if I'm the only girl. {w=0.26}If I mess up, {w=0.26}it'll look like all girls suck at baseball.

en	Then don't mess up.

en	That's hard.

en	It's a situation where you can't help but be scared.

en	Anyway, {w=0.26}I'll be there with you.

en	If there's two of us,{w=0.26} we {i}both{/i} have to mess up for them to think that.

en	...!

en	So don't give up.

en	I won't give up if you don't give up.

en	.............

en	That's kind of comforting.

en	I've always been alone out there.

en	It'll be you and me against the world!

en	Okay.{w=0.26} Let's do it.

en	The batter hit the ball!{nw}

en	{w=0.26} It pops up foul!

en	It's coming toward us!

en	Diya catches the ball in the popcorn bucket!

en	Whoa!!!!!!!!

en	I got so lucky!

en	{big=+20}YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!{/big}

en	Wow!{w=0.26} Diya,{w=0.10} that was—

en	{big=+20}SO COOL!!{w=0.26} YOU'RE SO COOL!!!{/big}

en	Diya fishes the ball out of the half-emptied tub.

en	I better give this to Jun or Min.

en	My parents think I went to study at Noelle's house. {w=0.26}It'd be too suspicious to bring a baseball back.

en	Min sits back down. {w=0.26}Apparently she had gotten up at some point to jump around and scream.

en	She still looks really awed.

en	Thanks.

en	...?

en	For what?

en	Existing.

en	Diya holds the ball out to Jun-seo.

en	Wow,{w=0.10} thanks!

en	I don't like baseball that much,{w=0.10} but now I'll always have something to remember you by.

en	Diya holds the baseball out to Min.

en	Can I really have it?!

en	I'll treasure it forever.{w=0.26} If anyone else touches it, I'll kill them.

en	That's way too extreme.

en	It's a big deal,{w=0.10} though!{w=0.26} Now we'll always have something to remember you by.

en	...?

en	What do you mean,{w=0.10} remember me by.

en	That makes it sound like I'm going to die or something.

en	Jun-seo looks alarmed by Diya's response!

en	Did... {w=0.26}did Min not tell you!?

en	???? ?? ??????????????

en	Tell me what?

en	We're—{w=0.26}{nw}

en	{cps=+60}{big=+20}SHUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH!{/big}{/cps}

en	What............. {w=0.26}what the heck........

en	{cps=+60}{big=+20}IT'S NOTHING!!!{w=0.07} FUCK THE SHUT UP!!!{/big}{/cps}

en	Min gets up and runs for it!

en	Min!

en	I've got to go after her!

en	Diya chases Min up the steps and down the concourse they arrived through!

en	Min!

en	Diya grabs the back of Min's hoodie!

en	Min loses her balance and face plants onto the carpet!

en	...........

en	Are you oka—

en	We're moving away.

en	{slow}????!?!?!{/slow}

en	Where?

en	To Florida. Tomorrow.

en	Tomorrow?!

en	So sudden.

en	It wasn't sudden. I've known for a long time.

en	I tried everything to stop it. {w=0.26}I even threatened Dad with a knife.

en	I can't believe it failed!{w=0.26} Violence is always the answer!

en	{slow}.......{/slow}

en	Florida...That's all the way across the country.

en	There's nothing there except old people.

en	No, alligators live there, too. I saw on Animal Planet.

en	So this is it?

en	This is it. Sorry.

en	But that's not fair.

en	We can't even send letters because my parents hate you so much.

en	I won't see you the rest of my life.

en	Hey, just because I'm moving doesn't mean we'll never meet again.

en	If I want to see you and you want to see me, eventually it'll end up happening again, right?

en	How do you know?

en	I just know!

en	That's not a reason.

en	Then... {w=0.26}because...

en	{slow}.......... {/slow}

en	Suddenly,{w=0.10} Min seizes Diya's arm!{w=0.26} She looks like she's had an epiphany!

en	If you say our names together,{w=0.10} it sounds like "diamond"!

en	What...

en	Like Diya-Min!

en	Diya-Min... {w=0.26}diamond... {w=0.26}see?

en	It's even more like it if you say your name wrong,{w=0.2} like DIE-ya instead of Dee-ya.

en	I'm not saying my name wrong just to make it sound like diamond.

en	But it's more equal like that! {w=0.26}My name got cut in half to make it work,{w=0.2} so I had to sacrifice something, too.

en	I already call you Min.{w=0.26} No one says DIE-ya.

en	The substitute teacher does.

en	The substitute teacher sucks.

en	How did you even think of this?

en	I was checking if our names sounded like anything good together,{w=0.10} like "baseball."

en	How could it possibly sound like baseball?{w=0.26} Our parents would've had to name us "Base" and "Ball".

en	I know,{w=0.10} I know!

en	But still,{w=0.10} it's pretty cool that we match at all,{w=0.10} right?!

en	And it's even baseball related!

en	{big=+20}THE UNIVERSE IS SAYING WE'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!{/big}

en	Whoa!! {w=0.26}I guess she's right!!!

en	We'll meet again no matter what!

en	I'll bet you $100!!

en	Wait. But how are you going to give me the $100 if you lose?

en	Huh? I just will.

en	No, but if you're able to meet me, that means you won the bet.

en	..........What...?

en	...............

en	Technically, I guess?

en	There's nothing technical about it. You just straight up wouldn't pay me.

en	...............

en	There's a long silence...

en	She still doesn't get it...

en	Never mind. It's okay.

en	{big=+20}YEAH, WHATEVER!{w=0.26} YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!{/big}

en	The point is,{w=0.10} this isn't the end!

en	I won't give up if you don't give up.

en	Okay?

en	Okay.

en	I won't give up if you don't give up.

en	And if an alligator attacks you, go for the eyes.

en	Okay!

en	This is Jun-seo's seat.

en	He went to the bathroom with Dad.

en	He's been gone for a while now.

en	I hope he didn't get lost.

en	Maybe he's taking a dump.

en	Min.

en	Yeah?

en	Let's go get popcorn

en	Offer her popcorn

en	Talk about school

en	Talk about baseball

en	Are you sure nothing's wrong?

en	Give her the baseball

en	Never mind

en	You know, I've been wondering for a while...

en	If your parents won't let you play baseball, why don't you just play softball instead?

en	Give me your hand. I'll show you.

en	...?

en	Diya offers Min her hand.

en	Min presses their palms together, so their hands line up.

en	Her fingertips end a whole inch below Diya's.

en	Her hands are tiny!

en	I guess that makes sense, since her name's Min.

en	The rest of her is mini, too.

en	My hand is too small to grip a softball correctly.

en	I can't even pitch them. They always slip out halfway through the wind-up.

en	...?

en	Are softballs that much bigger than baseballs?

en	Yeah.

en	But that makes no sense. Shouldn't guys play softball and girls play baseball then?

en	Since guys usually have bigger hands.

en	It's backwards. Why is it designed like that?

en	Beats me.

en	I hope we're in the same class next year.

en	.......... {w=0.26}Ye... {w=0.26}yeah...

en	Actually,{w=0.10} about that........ {w=0.26}uh...

en	...?

en	Never mind! Everything is fine!

en	This is really suspicious?){w=0.26} (She's acting weird again,{w=0.10} like earlier...

en	What is it?{w=0.26} Do you not want to be in the same class as me?

en	No! {w=0.26}That's not it!

en	It's just that I won't be....... {w=0.26}Uh........

en	Um.......

en	Forget it.......

en	Is this related to what she couldn't tell me before?

en	I bet Jun-seo will know what this is about...

en	Are you sure everything is okay?

en	Y-yeah! {w=0.26}Stop worrying!

en	I don't think I'm getting anywhere questioning her like this.

en	Diya holds out the popcorn bucket.

en	Thanks!

en	Min happily grabs a fistful of popcorn and stuffs it into her mouth.

en	Let's go.

en	Okay!

en	Diya and Min got up!

en	I saw the popcorn guy past these people.

en	Min is gawking excitedly at all the baseball fans milling about...

en	Look!!{w=0.26} There's so many white people here!!!

en	It's just like on TV!

en	It really is...

en	The neighborhood we live in is so Asian that I used to think white people were really rare.

en	Too bad all these people are in our way right now,{w=0.10} though.

en	We can't get through.

en	I'm going to ask them to move.

en	Excuse me.

en	No one seems to hear her...

en	..........

en	That was the worst.

en	I'm never speaking again. Time to become a mime.

en	Don't worry, Diya! I'll take care of it.

en	Okay.

en	Min grabs someone's baseball bat off the ground and starts hitting people with it!

en	{big=+20}HEY,{w=0.10} YOU DUMMIES!!{/big}

en	{big=+20}MOVE OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!{/big}

en	Startled, people are moving aside...

en	......

en	Look at strangers

en	Keep walking toward popcorn guy

en	The strangers glance over in Diya's direction as she walks by.

en	One whispers something to the other. They both burst out laughing.

en	Are they laughing at me?

en	I hope not...

en	I can't make out what they're saying.

en	I hope they're not saying bad stuff about me.

en	Min continues to forge a path, leaving a trail of destruction behind her...

en	{big=+15}MOVE OR I'LL KILL YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!!{/big}

en	{big=+15}EVEN YOUR DANG {i}FISH{/i} WON'T SURVIVE!!{/big}

en	{big=+15}I'LL THROW ALL YOUR FISH OUT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET SO CARS WILL RUN OVER THEM!!{/big}

en	...........

en	I know this looks bad, but Min really isn't a bad person.

en	She always lets me be Luigi in Mario Kart.

en	And whenever I land on her space in Monopoly, she says I don't need to pay her.

en	{big=+15}DIEEEEEEEE!!!{/big}

en	...........

en	We're almost there now.

en	Look at dog

en	Approach the popcorn guy

en	Popcorn Vendor

en	Popcorn,{w=0.10} popcoooooorn!

en	...

en	He looks busy.

en	I give up.{w=0.26} Time to walk away.

en	HEY GRANDPA!! {w=0.26}GIVE US POPCORN OR ELSE!!

en	...! {w=0.26}Min is so brave.

en	Then you better pay up! {w=0.26}These are $10 a bucket!

en	$10?!

en	What a rip-off!!

en	Min hit the man in the groin with her bat!

en	Oof!

en	The man sinks to the ground as if he's been shot!

en	Min grabs a popcorn bucket out of his tray!

en	...

en	I got it!{w=0.26} Let's go!!

en	Look at popcorn guy

en	Walk back to seats

en	He's still curled up in pain.

en	We better go before he recovers and comes after us.

en	What a cute dog.

en	I want 5 dogs when I grow up.{w=0.26} It'll be like having 5 friends.

en	Min will probably train them all into attack dogs,{w=0.10} though.

en	Whenever I see a "Dog missing" flyer somewhere I worry so much.

en	Is the dog okay?? I hope it's just digging a hole somewhere.

en	!!!!!!!!

en	It's a dog! Cute dog!

en	It doesn't look very strong.{w=0.26} I bet I could kill it in one hit.

en	Don't do that.{w=0.26} I'm going to pet it.

en	Owner

en	Ask the owner if you can pet it

en	Let Min ask

en	Okay.

en	All I have to do is ask,{w=0.10} "Excuse me,{w=0.10} can we pet your dog?"

en	I better practice a few times so I don't mess up when I really say it.

en	Excuse me,{w=0.10} can we pet your dog?) {w=0.26}(Excuse me,{w=0.10} can we pet your dog?) {w=0.26}(Excuse me,{w=0.10} can we pet your dog?

en	Alright.{w=0.26} I got this.

en	Let us pet your dog or else!

en	...That works too.

en	Diya does nothing...

en	I don't wanna embarrass myself.

en	Min threateningly approaches the dog's owner!

en	Let us pet your dog or else!

en	Go ahead!{w=0.26} She won't bite.

en	I'll fight y—

en	Wait,{w=0.10} Min.{w=0.26} He already agreed.

en	...Oh.{w=0.26} Right.

en	Pet dog

en	Diya pets the dog.

en	The dog closes its eyes and smiles!!!

en	!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	Diya is almost in tears...

en	She's like a living rug.

en	If you had a dog,{w=0.10} what would you name it?

en	Good question.

en	Pom

en	Shibe

en	Pom.

en	What the heck kind of name is that?

en	Cool name.

en	It's short for "Pomeranian".

en	That's way too simple!

en	Then what would you name your dog,{w=0.10} Min?

en	Shibe.

en	What the heck kind of name is that?

en	Cool name.

en	It's short for "Shiba Inu."

en	Sounds dumb...

en	Then what would you name your dog,{w=0.10} Min?

en	Me?{w=0.26} Hm...

en	Min is thinking with an intense look on her face...

en	Skull Crusher.

en	!!!

en	Diya is silently laughing at her!

en	Of course you'd choose a name like that.

en	What!{w=0.26} It's better than [dogName!t]!

en	What's wrong with [dogName!t]?

en	Okay, I think we're good to go now.

en	Wait. Why would I leave when there's a dog here.

en	I have to pet it.

en	Oh, it's my dad. Yuck.

en	Min's dad is really mad at her for cutting her hair like that.

en	He's speaking Korean on the phone. I wonder what he's talking about.

en	Min only taught me 1 through 4 so far.

en	Diya must've been frowning without knowing it, because Min speaks up.

en	Do you wanna learn more?

en	...?

en	Sure.

en	How do you say "Hi" in Korean?

en	"Hi"?{w=0.26} Easy,{w=0.10} it's...

en	Uh..............{w=0.26}hm.

en	....?

en	Does she not know how to say it?

en	{font=korean.ttf}...사랑해!{/font}

en	"Sarang eh...?"

en	{font=korean.ttf}사랑해.{/font}

en	{font=korean.ttf}사랑해?{/font}

en	{font=korean.ttf}사랑해.{/font}

en	{font=korean.ttf}사랑해.{/font}

en	Min is staring at Diya with a really complicated expression on her face...

en	What.{w=0.26} Am I saying it right?

en	Y-yeah!{w=0.26} That was good!

en	Cool.{w=0.26} Now I can greet you and Jun-seo like this.

en	N-no,{w=0.10} wait!{w=0.26} You can't say that to Jun.

en	Huh.{w=0.26} Why not?

en	Because...{w=0.26}uh...{w=0.26}It's a special kind of hello.

en	You can only say it to........{w=0.26}certain people.{w=0.26} Like me.

en	Oh.{w=0.26} Is it one of those things where if you use the wrong one,{w=0.10} it's really bad?

en	Y-yeah!{w=0.26} Something like that.{w=0.26} It's tough to explain.

en	But it's correct when I say it to you.

en	Yeah!

en	So only say it to me.{w=0.26} Got it?

en	Got it.

en	Wow.{w=0.26} Korean is really complicated.

en	What about you?{w=0.26} How do you say "Hi"?

en	Teach her "Hi"

en	Teach her "I like to fart"

en	{cps=0}What about you? How do you say "Hi"?{/cps}

en	Hi.

en	{font=tamil.ttf}வணக்கம்.{/font}

en	Hi?

en	{font=tamil.ttf}வணக்கம்?{/font}

en	{font=tamil.ttf}வணக்கம்.{/font}

en	Hi!

en	{font=tamil.ttf}வணக்கம்!{/font}

en	I like to fart.

en	{font=tamil.ttf}நான் குசு விரும்புகிறேன்.{/font}

en	What the...? That's so long!

en	I...uh...

en	{font=tamil.ttf}நான் ...{/font}uh...

en	{font=tamil.ttf}நான் குசு விரும்புகிறேன்.{/font}

en	I like to fart!

en	{font=tamil.ttf}நான் குசு விரும்புகிறேன்!{/font}

en	!!!

en	What's so funny?

en	Nothing. Your pronunciation is great.

en	He's still talking on the phone.

en	Doesn't sound like he's using the phrase Min just taught me.

en	I guess there's not a lot of opportunities to say "Hi" in the middle of a conversation.

en	Hey, let's hurry up and sit down.

en	Jun-seo is probably wondering where we are.

en	She's right. Poor Jun-seo.

en	Look at Jun and Min's dad

en	There you guys are!

en	Where'd you guys go?

en	The dog.

en	Diya,{w=0.10} that's... {w=0.26}really cryptic.

en	Is it?

en	Here,{w=0.10} take this!

en	Min gives Diya the popcorn bucket!

en	!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	Min, where'd you get that bat...?

en	Please don't tell me you did something bad...

en	Yeah! It was fun!

en	No! You have to stop stealing and threatening people!

en	It's dangerous! What if someone came after you?

en	I'd beat them!

en	Even if there was a bear, I'd kill it with my bare hands.

en	Min, that's impossible.

en	I'll punch it real hard in the head like {i}WHAM!!!{/i}

en	Dead.

en	It's not that easy. You'll just get mauled.

en	Yeah, right. I'll dodge.

en	I bet I can kill two different bears at once.

en	Min, no...

en	It's useless. I don't think Min's brain even knows what fear is.

en	Geez,{w=0.10} Jun. You really sound like Noelle sometimes.

en	Noelle is my best friend.

en	She's the kid in class who goes,{w=0.10} "But wait,{w=0.10} you forgot to collect our homework!"

en	I introduced Min to her a while back, but it was like hate at first sight.

en	I think Min wants to kill her.

en	Someday when Diya decides she doesn't like Noelle anymore, I'll kill her.

en	I'll kill her to death.

en	Don't do that.

en	Even though Noelle is taller than you,{w=0.10} someday I'll be the tallest!

en	I won't lose to her!

en	What does that have to do with anything?

en	Also,{w=0.10} if I was peeling an orange for you,{w=0.10} I'd make sure to get all the white stringy stuff off,{w=0.10} too.

en	I bet Noelle wouldn't do that.

en	What the heck kind of scenario is this?

en	Why would you guys even be peeling oranges for me.

en	Just because.{w=0.26} Forget it.

en	Jun-seo.

en	Offer him popcorn

en	Is there something going on with Min?

en	Give him the baseball

en	Diya holds out the popcorn bucket.

en	Thanks!

en	Jun-seo took a single piece of popcorn!

en	You can take more than that.

en	Really?{w=0.26} You're so nice!

en	Jun-seo took another single piece of popcorn!

en	Is there something going on with Min?

en	Like,{w=0.10} did she do a felony?{w=0.26} Are the police after her?

en	Uh... {w=0.26}not that I know of?{w=0.26} Why?

en	She's been acting kinda weird all day. {w=0.26}It's like she's hiding something.

en	Really?{w=0.26} I haven't noticed anything odd...

en	Huh.{w=0.26} I guess if even Jun-seo isn't concerned,{w=0.10} everything is fine.

en	Phew. I can just enjoy the game without worrying now.

en	???

en	dude

en	5 Years Later

en	9th grade

en	!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	I have to get ready for school!

en	Diya hits her alarms and flops face-first into bed.

en	Diya's morning routine includes lying in bed for 10 minutes thinking about how tired she is.

en	{cps=0}Diya's morning routine includes lying in bed for 10 minutes thinking about how tired she is. {/cps}

en	Do it

en	Ghhhhgghghhhh...kkkgghhhhhh...

en	I only got 2 hours of sleep...

en	Nnnnooooooooooooo......I don't wanna get up...

en	Ugghhhhhghghhhghhh...Ggggggh...

en	10 minutes pass like this.

en	Once the allotted time is up, Diya unenthusiastically peels herself off the mattress and stands.

en	After stretching for a few moments, she starts getting ready for school.

en	...?

en	My classmate Akarsha messaged me.

en	Check your computer

en	{nw}

en	ay

en	ay diya

en	ay

en	ayy

en	:)))))))))))))))))

en	What

en	diya u like pringles, right?

en	:o

en	>Yeah

en	>No

en	Yeah, why

en	?

en	go outside

en	xD

en	YAOI SEME has gone offline.

en	???

en	No, why

en	?

en	darn

en	nvm then

en	just being random

en	xD

en	YAOI SEME has gone offline.

en	???

en	I wonder what that was about.

en	Diya goes outside.

en	There's a lone Pringle sitting on the ground.

en	......................

en	Diya goes outside.

en	Ayyy!

en	Sup, homie.

en	This is Akarsha.

en	She's the kind of person who doesn't give pencils back.

en	You know when you become friends with someone just because you have to see them so much?

en	Yeah.{w=0.26} That's us.

en	My parents are always saying I should be more outgoing like her, like that's something I can just change.

en	Hey Diya,{w=0.10} you know what's the best weed?

en	It's when.... {w=0.26}I'm WEED you........

en	.....................

en	Diya briskly begins walking away without her...

en	Aw,{w=0.10} you're no fun.

en	Have it your way. {w=0.26}Burger King.

en	Akarsha is half-jogging to keep up with Diya.

en	Hey Diya...

en	Did you know that your eye has something called "immune privilege"?

en	This basically means that the outside of your eye prevents your immune system from knowing about the inside of your eye.

en	If it didn't, your immune system would destroy your eyes.

en	That doesn't sound right.

en	I don't believe you.

en	Why not?

en	Because you lie to me all the time.

en	Noelle said not to trust you no matter what.

en	Wait,{w=0.10} what?!{w=0.26} When?

en	When we first met you this year.{w=0.26} After you accused her of being a robot with artificially implanted human emotions.

en	Hey,{w=0.10} she got annoyed when I pressed a magnet to her head.

en	That means she's a Replicant and it was messing with her circuits.

en	Checkmate.

en	No.{w=0.26} She was annoyed because you pressed a magnet to her head.

en	Aw,{w=0.10} come ooonnnnnn!{w=0.26} I was just trying to make a good first impression!

en	What's a girl to do?

en	Not that.

en	Poor me...

en	No one feels sorry for you!

en	There's a bunch of adults dressed in yellow at the intersection, waving signs.

en	...What is that?

en	They're trying to take away gay marriage.

en	Gay marriage is allowed?

en	Dude, it's been legal for a few years now.

en	Oh. Wasn't paying attention.

en	Sign-toting man

en	Protect marriage! Yes on Prop 8!

en	Marriage equals 1 man and 1 woman!

en	A smiling woman with a baby strapped to her back brandishes her sign as Diya and Akarsha walk past.

en	It says: I <3 my Gay brother Still YES on 8!

en	What kind of cognitive dissonance...

en	Hey, Diya...

en	Would you eat a tiny 2 inch person alive for 100 million dollars?

en	I'd eat him

en	I wouldn't eat him

en	{cps=0}Would you eat a tiny 2 inch person alive for 100 million dollars?{/cps}

en	Diya nods!

en	Dang. {w=0.26}You wouldn't feel bad at all?

en	You realize he dies?

en	But he tastes like Cheetos.

en	So? He's still a real dude,{w=0.10} man!

en	Why would they make him taste like Cheetos if you're not supposed to eat him?

en	But he's only 2 inches tall.

en	He's still a real dude,{w=0.10} man!{w=0.26} What are you,{w=0.10} some kinda short people hater?!

en	This is on a whole other level from "short"!){w=0.26} (His brain must be the size of a pea!

en	Dude, imagine... {w=0.26}What if you were the tiny guy?

en	If I were him,{w=0.10} I'd go into a total panic.

en	I would scream and squirm. {w=0.26}I wouldn't wanna get eaten.

en	No.

en	He'd probably taste horrible.

en	People have so many bones. {w=0.26}It'd be like eating a fish.

en	That's the only reason you wouldn't do it?

en	Are you sayin' you'd eat him if he was,{w=0.10} like,{w=0.10} a Cheeto?

en	What do you mean. {w=0.26}Like a talking Cheeto with human intelligence.

en	No,{w=0.10} like,{w=0.10} he's still a human dude but he somehow has the taste and texture of a Cheeto.

en	What the heck... {w=0.26}This is getting pretty abstract.

en	Diya shakes her head.

en	Wow!{w=0.26} Now I know you're a true homie.

en	Homie G Biscuit Skillet Dawg

en	Great...

en	Why are we even talking about this...

en	We made it to school.

en	I should go to my locker first before going to class.

en	Suddenly, Akarsha takes off running.

en	...?!

en	Where are you going?

en	Huh? It's pee-pee time.

en	Can you...not say things like that?

en	Akarsha left...

en	..............

en	She never takes a day off from being weird.

en	Use locker

en	Go to class

en	OH MY GOD!!!! I DONT BELIEVE IT!!!!

en	What?

en	THIS IS...THIS IS A BUSH!!!!!!!!

en	I never would've guessed!

en	...............

en	FASCINATING!!!

en	Let's keep staring at this instead of doing something more useful!

en	Did you know these things are connected to the school's computer network?

en	There's a cat 5 coming out of it.

en	Yeah, right.

en	Too scary.

en	The poster says "Reduce stress!"

en	HahaHAH!!

en	How exactly do they expect us to do that?

en	Not go to school?{w=0.26} Get rid of our parents?

en	Diya opens her locker.

en	This is technically both me and Noelle's locker.

en	The school doesn't have enough lockers for everyone,{w=0.10} so freshmen share.

en	And they're tiny.{w=0.10} I'm always surprised when high schoolers in movies have lockers big enough to fit people inside.

en	Get your stuff

en	Look in Noelle's lunchbox

en	Look at rosin

en	Close locker door

en	Diya hefts her books and binders into her backpack.

en	Alright. {w=0.26}I can go to class now.

en	Diya opens the lunchbox and peers inside.

en	There's a steel thermos and a plastic baggy of grapes.

en	Grapes...!

en	Diya shovels half the grapes into her mouth before putting the lunchbox back.

en	Diya opens the lunchbox and peers inside.

en	There's bittermelon in Noelle's stir-fry today.

en	Diya and Noelle both hate bittermelon.

en	................

en	This is rosin for string instruments.

en	The first time Noelle showed it to me,{w=0.10} I tried to eat it.

en	The rosin's a nice amber color.

en	It looks like you can eat it,{w=0.10} but you can't.

en	I don't have all the stuff I need for class.

en	I need to visit me and Noelle's locker first.

en	Diya! Help me!

en	...!

en	It's Noelle.

en	What is it?

en	I can't open this water bottle.

en	Noelle basically has noodles for arms.

en	Open the water bottle

en	Diya takes the bottle out of Noelle's hands and twists the plastic sealed cap open.

en	Thank you.

en	How are you so weak? It's scary.

en	It's the manufacturer's fault for making these seals so strong.

en	What if you get lost in a desert and find a bottle of water?

en	You'll die because you can't open it.

en	No, I won't. You can open it for me.

en	That's assuming I'm there in the desert with you.

en	I should start charging you a service fee. 25 cents.

en	You wouldn't do that.

en	I'd make $1.25 per week. Can buy Cup Noodles from the student store.

en	Noelle sneezes violently!

en	Don't get too close to me. {w=0.26}I probably have the flu.

en	...?!

en	Did you catch what I had last week?

en	Probably.

en	Sorry.

en	This happens a lot because we spend so much time together. And I eat her food.

en	It doesn't help that our immune systems are perpetually weakened from sleep deprivation, either.

en	At least you don't have to worry about me being contagious.

en	Are you okay though?{w=0.26} Shouldn't you go home?

en	And what,{w=0.10} miss school?!

en	I guess that's out of the question...

en	Even when Noelle had the stomach flu in middle school,{w=0.10} her parents made her come just for her math and science classes.

en	She was,{w=0.10} like,{w=0.10} barely conscious. {w=0.26}I had to carry her around because she couldn't get up from her desk.

en	I think she ended up infecting half the school.

en	Where's Akarsha?

en	She...

en	It's pee-pee time.

en	I am NOT saying that.

en	.............

en	.............

en	...Okay, never mind.

en	Why do you ask?

en	I secretly sewed a library book security tag into the inside of Akarsha's backpack.

en	So from now on, every time she leaves the library, she'll set off the alarm and have her backpack searched.

en	That's...wow.

en	Well, whatever. We'll have plenty of chances to see.

en	Let's go.

en	A huge mob of kids is packed outside the classroom. They're all looking at a grid of test scores posted on the wall.

en	It's complete chaos. People are pushing and angling their way to the list with the fervor of Beliebers trying to touch Justin's hand.

en	Male student

en	Female student

en	If I get a B, my parents are throwing away my GameCube.

en	Yikes...That's gotta be an empty threat, right?

en	I {i}wish{/i}. They already threw away my cellphone.

en	...........

en	...I'm scared to see what I got on this.

en	Think I failed.

en	Asian failed? Or actually failed?

en	Asian failed. C'mon, I'm not {i}that{/i} dumb.

en	Look at scores

en	Talk to classmates

en	Enter classroom

en	This is a list of the top 10 scores across all periods.

en	Noelle aced it. Classic.

en	She used to call me on the phone crying every Christmas because her parents got her math workbooks instead of what she really wanted.

en	By now, she's unbeatable. It's like her tragic superhero origin story.

en	Except instead of a superhero, she's every Asian parent's dream child.

en	No clue how Akarsha managed to get the second highest score, though.

en	General consensus is that she's cheating, but the teachers have never been able to catch her doing anything.

en	So I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

en	Diya, I've located your ID number. Here.

en	You got a 91.22%%.

en	Phew. Almost failed.

en	Actually, you could've missed one more and still scraped an A-.

en	Considering how many I guessed on, that's still cutting it pretty close.

en	That's scary. I really studied as hard as I could, but even my best almost wasn't good enough.

en	I wonder if I can really get into Stanford or Berkeley like this...

en	Wait. I should look at the test results, first.

en	As Diya and Noelle enter the classroom, something bursts out of the cabinet!

en	HOO!!!!!

en	AAAUUGH!!!

en	Noelle staggers backwards onto an X marked on the floor with duct tape...

en	A garbage can drops from the ceiling!

en	NO!!!!!!!!!

en	HAHA {i}HAH!!!{/i}

en	Noelle and Akarsha go through some variation of this every single day.

en	It's their roundabout way of being friends.

en	Well, well, well.

en	If it isn't my favorite Frenchman, Noelle.

en	Please stop calling me that.

en	Why're you speaking English, Noelle??

en	What kind of Frenchman are you??

en	JUST BECAUSE MY NAME IS FRENCH DOESN'T MEAN I'M FRENCH.

en	Honhonhon.

en	Baguette.

en	See, this is the problem.

en	Whenever Noelle hears something stupid, she can't just let it slide.

en	She always has to correct it.

en	So Akarsha just keeps acting dumber and dumber on purpose into infinity.

en	Noelle does an impressive worm-like dance to wriggle out of the garbage bin.

en	I can't believe you've done this. What happened to our truce?

en	Truce?

en	From yesterday! You agreed to this!

en	Noelle pulls a sheet of binder paper from her book bag and brandishes it in front of Akarsha's face.

en	Look! This is your own signature at the bottom.

en	..............

en	...Suddenly, I can't read.

en	AKARSHAAaaAAAAA!!!!

en	Noelle's scream sounds very weird and hoarse from her cold.

en	...What's wrong with your voice today?

en	That was a weaker yell than normal.

en	I'm ill. I am losing my voice.

en	How about I punch you in the throat? It'll displace the mucus.

en	NO, IT WON'T.

en	How do you know? Anything is possible.

en	Trust me.

en	{i}{font=arial.ttf}♫{/font} I'm here! {w=0.26}Soba ni iru kara... {i}{font=arial.ttf}♫{/font}

en	YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE LAST PERSON I WOULD TRUST.

en	You worthless scammer.

en	Leave all your problems to me. {w=0.26}I'll solve them in a heartbeat.

en	That is unrealistic and accelerating that fast would destroy you even past your bone structure.

en	Why're you being so mean? {w=0.26}I'm just trying to help you!

en	HITTING ME ISN'T HELPING ME!!

en	Wooooooooooow,{w=0.10} someone has anger management problems!

en	You gotta slow down and smell the flowers... {w=0.26} Appreciate life's miracles.

en	Like me. {w=0.26}I'm life's greatest miracle.

en	ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. I FEEL NAUSEATED JUST LOOKING AT YOU.

en	I just don't understand... Why is there so much hate in the world...?

en	If only we could open our hearts to love, there would be no wars...

en	"Peace begins with a smile." -Mother Theresa.

en	Noelle is struggling not to break character by laughing!

en	The bell rings!{w=0.26} This concludes Noelle and Akarsha's daily morning scream fest.

en	The rest of the morning is relatively uneventful...

en	Guess what?

en	What?

en	No, no. You gotta guess.

en	You were arrested.

en	What! No!

en	You have a year left to live.

en	What the?? Dude, why'd you always gotta jump to the worst possible conclusion?

en	It guarantees that I'm either right or pleasantly surprised.

en	You're a real piece of work, you know that?

en	Whatever, I'll just tell you.

en	Did you guys hear about the new girl who transferred here?

en	Apparently she's like,{w=0.10} a delinquent!{w=0.26} I heard she knifed someone.

en	She must not be very intelligent.

en	Isn't that exciting?{w=0.26} We never get that type around here.

en	That's true. Everyone here's kinda forced to become a nerd by default.

en	I can't wait to meet her.

en	What for?{w=0.26} Do you want to get stabbed too?

en	Sure, why not? Saves me the trouble of doing it myself.

en	Noelle rolls her eyes and goes back to organizing her fried rice. She's picking all the sausage bits out so Diya can eat her leftovers.

en	Don't do that. I like being alive the same time as you.

en	That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me!

en	Really? Then I take it back.

en	WOW.

en	Noelle slides her thermos across the table at Diya.

en	Fried rice!!!!!!!

en	Hey, Diya.

en	How many 2nd graders do you think you could beat up if they came at you in waves of 10, with a 5th grader boss coming every 5 waves?

en	Zero

en	Maybe like 15

en	At least a few dozen

en	{cps=0}How many 2nd graders you think you could beat up if they came at you in waves of 10, with a 5th grader boss coming every 5 waves?{/cps}

en	Zero.

en	Don't want to punch kids.

en	But it's kill or be killed, man!

en	You'd just let them beat you??

en	Your gravestone's gonna be like, "Here lies Diya. Killed by 2nd graders."

en	I'm not going to put that on my gravestone.

en	Maybe like 15.

en	What! You're underestimating yourself, man.

en	I'm not invincible. This isn't a kung-fu movie.

en	But they're little. It's so easy to mess them up.

en	You could just tell them they laugh weird and they'll be self conscious about it for the rest of their lives.

en	At least a few dozen.

en	SAVAGE...

en	You don't feel bad hitting little kids?

en	Well, they started it.

en	If they don't want to get hit, they shouldn't attack me.

en	Noelle looks a bit left out by this conversation.

en	Why just Diya? How come you're not asking me?

en	Because I already know the answer for you.

en	Zero.

en	...It's true. You're a weakling.

en	How rude!

en	Noelle, let's arm wrestle.

en	I want to show Akarsha. She hasn't seen this.

en	I don't want to.

en	I always lose.

en	I'll let you use both hands this time.

en	Noelle makes a face.

en	Reluctantly, she clasps both her hands on Diya's, so it's sandwiched in between hers.

en	3. 2. 1.

en	Noelle strains against Diya's grip with all her might!

en	Nrgh...

en	Ha...Rrrrggghhh!!!

en	Diya's arm still hasn't budged an inch.

en	With her free hand, Diya casually continues to eat fried rice.

en	You...Stop that!

en	Akarsha. What do you think of the weather today?

en	Stop toying with me!

en	If I did that, I'd break your wrist.

en	You know what I mean.

en	Diya pins Noelle's arm to the table as gently as possible.

en	Dang...This is like, some Fox and the Hound shit.

en	Normally the scrawny nerds herd together so jocks like Diya don't stuff them into trashcans.

en	How did you two even end up friends?

en	...Don't remember.

en	You don't remember?!

en	You were always just there by default.

en	That is NOT what happened.

en	You had one bad ear, so you had a lot of trouble making sense of what anyone was saying.

en	You'd just play wall ball against yourself or run laps on the track.

en	That sounds about right.

en	One day, someone brought in Krispy Kreme donuts for their birthday.

en	I didn't like donuts, so I—

en	You don't like donuts??

en	I don't like donuts. They're disgusting.

en	Disagree. Her tastebuds are broken.

en	Anyway, I gave mine to you, and in exchange, I received your undying and completly unwanted loyalty.

en	You followed me around everywhere.

en	You were a major inconvenience.

en	I don't remember any of this.

en	How do you not remember? You were so extreme. Whenever the teachers tried to separate us, you'd start crying.

en	I seriously don't remember any of this.

en	It's probably because your birthday's in November. You were almost a full year younger than me.

en	A year is a big gap when you're 5.

en	True. I was probably like a toddler.

en	Sorry.

en	I forgive you.

en	That's hella kawaii.

en	Never use that phrase ever again.

en	What phrase?

en	You know what phrase.

en	Stranger

en	Excuse me!

en	????!!

en	She's talking to me!!

en	No!! Go away!!

en	Diya looks wildly around for Noelle or Akarsha to help her, but they've both already gone ahead into the classroom.

en	I remember you! You were {incoherent}( ? ? ? ){/incoherent}

en	What is she saying?? I've never met her in my life!

en	— new clubs are {incoherent}( ? ? ? ){/incoherent} interest {incoherent}( ? ? ? ){/incoherent} —

en	Crap. {w=0.26}I can't really make out the words.

en	I'll just nod at appropriate times.

en	We're collecting signatures to {incoherent}( ? ? ? ){/incoherent} approved!

en	The stranger hands Diya a clipboard with the signature sheet on it!

en	Uh??{w=0.26} What is this??

en	Sign the paper

en	Don't sign the paper

en	Diya signs the paper!

en	Thank you very much!{w=0.26} Look forward {incoherent}( ? ? ? ){/incoherent}!

en	Bye!!!

en	Diya walks away in the middle of the conversation!

en	She quickly enters the classroom before the girl can stop her.

en	The stranger left...

en	Phew. {w=0.26}Glad that's over.

en	Diya quickly enters the classroom before anyone else can try to talk to her.

en	Teacher

en	Inside, Akarsha and Noelle are playing cards.

en	Time to reveal your hand in 3...2...1...

en	Noelle and Akarsha flip their cards over!

en	Why is there a Yu-Gi-Oh card?!

en	Akarsha taps it with her index finger.

en	This is Exodia, the Forbidden One.

en	Think outside the box. Taco Bell.

en	YOU CAN'T DO THIS!

en	Akarsha reaches across the desk and takes one of Noelle's cards.

en	What are you doing?

en	You said you were going to play this normally!

en	There's no rule in Yu-Gi-Oh saying you can't eat the enemy's cards.

en	WE'RE PLAYING POKER.

en	There's no rule in poker saying you can't eat the enemy's cards.

en	Class starts!{w=0.26} This concludes Noelle and Akarsha's daily afternoon struggle.

en	Alright. Just one more period before the day's over.

en	Looking flushed, Noelle wipes sweat off her brow.

en	Why is it so hot?

en	Because I'm he—

en	You shut up!

en	*loud, hurt gasp*

en	My heart is exploding, my lungs are without air, my blood is boiling, my body is shaking, and tears are running down my face,

en	...?

en	Noelle is unsteadily grasping the side of a bench for support.

en	What are you doing?

en	I feel...extremely dizzy all of a sudden.

en	As a precaution, I will remain stationary until the symptoms—

en	Diya grabs her as she collapses!

en	Her entire body is burning up!

en	She must have a fever.

en	We'll take you to the nurse's office, dude.

en	NO!

en	Don't you dare. I need to go to next period!

en	Attendance is 20 percent of my grade in Gym class.

en	Missing one day can't hurt. Gym is like a freebie anyway.

en	No, you don't understand...It's my worst subject...

en	I can't afford to lose any more points when my mile time is 18 minutes every week...

en	??????????????!!!!?!

en	So slow?!!!!! What the? ?? ? ?

en	Don't make that face at me. I'm not you, Diy—

en	Noelle launches into a sneezing fit!

en	Gym's not even math or science. Is it that big of a deal?

en	It'll still ruin her GPA and valedictorian status. Her parents will yell at her and be really mean.

en	What do we do?! If she gets a B because we took her to the nurse's office, it'll destroy her!

en	But she's in no condition be working out, either! She can't even stand without me holding her up!

en	Let's use our heads. There's gotta be way out of this.

en	Like what?

en	Like...

en	If a meteor hits Earth right now, no one will mind if Noelle skips Gym class.

en	Brilliant. If the world ends, we're saved.

en	Even cancelling school would be easier.

en	Hold that thought!

en	If school is cancelled...If school is cancelled {i}right now{/i}...

en	Snow day? But there's no snow.

en	Then how? As long as we make it so that no one goes to class, we win.

en	.............

en	Akarsha is clearly going down some weird line of reasoning...

en	...Dude!! I've got it!

en	Homie G

en	[diyaHomieName], you stay with Noelle while I...uh...

en	...Do some stuff.

en	What stuff?

en	Uh...

en	You're not gonna like it.

en	Before I tell you, you gotta promise not to get mad.

en	What?!

en	Well? Promise?

en	Promise not to get mad

en	Don't promise

en	Okay.

en	Diya?! But what if it's something insane?!

en	Then I'll just be annoyed internally.

en	I knew I could count on you! A true homie!!

en	What about you, Frenchman?

en	I can't promise not to get mad! Just tell us already!

en	Nope! I'm not telling you, then.

en	But what about me? I agreed.

en	Heck no. I know how it is with you two.

en	If I tell you, you'll tell Noelle as soon as I'm gone.

en	...Damn. That's true.

en	No.

en	That's right! How can we promise when we don't even know what it is yet?!

en	Just tell us already!

en	Too bad! I'm not telling you, then.

en	Adios, amigos!

en	Wait! Where are you going?

en	Shrek's swamp.

en	Akarsha left...

en	..................

en	..................

en	I have a bad feeling about this.

en	Me too.

en	Why does everything have to be some kind of weird mind game with her? It's exhausting.

en	She sounds so weak. She should rest on the bench.

en	Diya sits, then lays Noelle down so her head is resting on her lap.

en	Nothing we can do now but wait...

en	Do we really have to do this?

en	This is embarrassing.

en	Oh, come on.

en	I've seen you throw up in a trash can at Happy Fish Swim School because you were so bad at swimming that you inhaled half a gallon of water.

en	Compared to that, this is like a 3.

en	But this is different. This right now is unnecessary.

en	Your thighs are so muscular that I feel like I'm resting my head on a rock.

en	Thanks for the compliment.

en	It wasn't a compliment.

en	How mean.

en	Now we definitely have to do this.

en	Feel Noelle's forehead

en	Talk to Noelle

en	Diya presses her hand to Noelle's forehead.

en	It's hot. Hotter than my own forehead?

en	Studies show that people who try to diagnose fever by touch significantly overestimate the incidence of fever, sometimes by as much as 40%%.

en	Oh. Never mind, then.

en	Tell Noelle to get into shape

en	Talk about ancient Chinese rock pillows

en	Would you eat a tiny man for $100 million?

en	How long do we have until class starts?

en	Get into shape.

en	Even ignoring your Gym class grade, the way you are right now is just bad.

en	You're like that Life Alert commercial. I've fallen and I can't get up.

en	I know, I know...

en	Then why don't you do something?

en	What if there's a zombie apocalypse and I get bitten first. How are you going to survive?

en	I can't help it! I don't have any time to work out.

en	I can barely even keep up with my schedule as is.

en	That's just an excuse.

en	She'd be able to figure something out if her heart was in it.

en	If only there was a way to get Noelle to enjoy exercising...

en	Did you know that in ancient China, they slept on rock pillows?

en	I saw on Discovery Channel.

en	This isn't making me feel any better!

en	You're going back to your ancient roots.

en	I don't want to go back to my ancient roots!

en	Would you eat a tiny 2-inch tall man for 100 million dollars?

en	I bet she's gonna say, "Of course not. That's illegal."

en	Of course not. That's homicide, which is illegal.

en	........

en	What is this? Some dumb Akarsha question?

en	Yeah.

en	How long do we have until class starts?

en	About 2 minutes.

en	Maybe you should head to class. You'll be tardy.

en	No, it's fine. I run fast.

en	Suddenly, Noelle tries to sit up!

en	Her abs are too weak, though, so she fails and flops back down.

en	What're you doing.

en	Becoming a fish?

en	I just had a great idea!

en	You know how on Valentine's Day, you can pay the school to deliver roses to someone?

en	Oh, like in middle school.

en	You could have them secretly send your crush candy grams for $5.

en	Yes, like that.

en	Except here, we're more mature, so it's flowers.

en	We should send Akarsha one, with the message "From your secret admirer."

en	Imagine how confused she'll be!

en	And we can tease her relentlessly about it.

en	It'll be hilarious!

en	Okay, that IS pretty funny.

en	It's not even that mean because she'll get free flowers out of it.

en	The secret admirer part is the best.

en	She'll drive herself nuts trying to figure out who it is.

en	Alternatively, we can sign it with really common initials, like K.C.

en	She'll look up every guy with those initials at this school.

en	That's good too...

en	I can't decide if it's funnier to have her conclude it's a random person, or for her to be constantly suspicious of everyone.

en	Maybe we can do this every year.

en	Like a tradition.

en	Oh my god.

en	You're a genius!

en	The first two years we don't give her any clues.

en	And then junior year, add the initials and encourage her to jump to the wrong conclusions.

en	That way we'll get to see both.

en	Noelle is in such a good mood that she lets out a creepy, evil laugh.

en	We can also make the message a cipher. So she has to solve it.

en	If you put too much math on it, she'll know it's you.

en	Ciphers aren't math.

en	If you have to explain to me what it is, she'll know it's you.

en	Fair enough.

en	How much do the roses cost?

en	Probably around $12.

en	$12...

en	That's $6 per person.

en	Don't really want to spend that much on a joke.

en	Especially if it's annual. It'd be $48 in all.

en	We could split the cost between more people, so it's more reasonable.

en	But we don't have any other friends who would appreciate it.

en	........

en	You're right.

en	Nevermind. Just forget it, then.

en	Noelle looks immensely disappointed...

en	?!??!!

en	Someone hacked the fire alarms to play the Super Mario Bros. theme!

en	Almost gave me a heart attack...

en	..........

en	Students come flooding out of the classrooms.

en	They all look really glad for an excuse to leave.

en	Everyone is evacuating to the field, like we're supposed to.

en	Can you walk?

en	Ye—

en	Diya catches Noelle as she pitches forward again.

en	Nope.

en	Diya gives Noelle a piggyback ride to the field.

en	The entire school is out here now.

en	Sup, homies.

en	You!

en	I can't believe you've done this!

en	I ought to report you to the authorities.

en	But you won't.

en	What, you think I won't just because we're fr...f...fellow acquaintances?

en	FELLOW ACQUAINTANCES??

en	She was totally about to say "friends".

en	I was not!

en	Admit it! Friends! Friends! Friends!

en	I hate you more than is physically possible right now!

en	Oh, come on. What did you want me to do?

en	Travel back in time and change Chinese culture to not see academic achievement as a moral virtue?

en	The one who's getting saved doesn't get to complain.

en	You broke the law! How can I not complain?!

en	Is anyone on this earth truly innocent?

en	YOU CAN'T DISTRACT ME WITH FAKE DEEP STATEMENTS!

en	You don't appreciate anything I do!

en	Where's my Nobel Peace Prize? Where's my "Thank you Akarsha, you're awesome"?

en	I'm not thanking you for this illicit "help" that I NEVER asked for.

en	Were you seriously expecting to be praised? Never have I ever been more embarrased for my fellow man.

en	I'm a hero!

en	YOU'RE NOT A HERO!!!

en	YOU SCUMBAG!!!!! DISGUSTING!!!!!!

en	Fine! Be that way!

en	I'm sorry. Forgive me?

en	You don't look even remotely sorry.

en	I can't help it if I think you're funny when you're mad.

en	Just don't tell on me and we'll call it even. Deal?

en	Akarsha offers her a handshake. Noelle regards it with obvious suspicion.

en	She cautiously releases her grip on Diya's shoulder and reaches out to shake it.

en	Instead of grasping her hand, Akarsha grabs Noelle's wrist. She starts hitting Noelle with her own hand!!

en	Why're you hitting yourself? Why're you hitting yoursel—

en	I HATE YOU!!!!!!!

en	YOU...STUPID!!!!

en	You should've killed me when you had the chance.

en	Next time, I won't let you off so easy. This is your last warning.

en	She said that last time. And the time before that.

en	Power of friendship!

en	A stranger brushes past Akarsha in the crowd. Akarsha gawks after her, placing her hand on her heart.

en	What are we...

en	Wait, that looks like...?!

en	??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	Diya chases after the person.

en	Diya?!

en	Where are we going?

en	The person.

en	The person is so short that Diya loses sight of her in crowd.

en	????????? ???

en	I lost her!

en	...

en	Great. I'm so sleep-deprived that I'm literally hallucinating.

en	That night, Diya dreams of the past.

en	3rd grade

en	Enemy catcher

en	Umpire

en	Whoa!! I'm up to bat!!

en	Yeah!!!!!

en	I get to hit the ball!! This is so fun!!!

en	Spectators

en	Hey, look! It's a girl batting!

en	Phew! Our team got lucky!

en	............

en	SHUT UP YOU DUMB...DUMB POO-POO HEAD!!!

en	SAY ONE MORE WORD AND I'LL KILL YOU!!

en	What?!

en	"What?!" is a word!

en	DIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

en	A fight broke out in the stands!

en	?????!!!

en	Min is beating the crap out of an old grandpa!

en	YOU BETTER WATCH OUT! I'M A GREEN BELT!

en	Green belt...

en	The other adults are rushing to pull her off him.

en	Min!

en	Min scrambles down the rafters with everyone chasing after her.

en	I'm taking you with me!!

en	She grabs Diya's wrist and sprints off with her in tow.

en	...!

en	Wait! Stop!

en	We got away.

en	Heheheh!!! I kidnapped you!!

en	Sure.

en	Now we can do whatever we want.

en	Come on! I brought Jun's bike!

en	Min pulls Jun-seo's bike out from the bushes.

en	She mounts the bike and looks at Diya expectantly.

en	You sit on the rear rack.

en	Shouldn't I be the one pedaling? I'm bigger than you.

en	I'm training for when I get taller than you!

en	That's never gonna happen. You'll be short forever.

en	How do you know?! Just you watch!

en	Are you getting on or not?

en	Diya tentatively lowers herself onto the bike rack.

en	So where do you wanna go next?

en	My house

en	Your house

en	Noelle's house

en	Home Depot lights section

en	Ask Min to decide

en	My house.

en	You wanna go home already?!

en	No, that's not what I meant. You're invited too.

en	We can play tag and eat ice cream.

en	But aren't your parents there? You'll get in trouble if they see me with you.

en	Oh, right...darn.

en	My parents are really unreasonable about Min.) (I'm actually not even allowed to talk to her.

en	It's so stupid. They don't know anything about her, but just because she has short hair and wears boy clothes they hate her.

en	They always call her a freak.

en	Your house.

en	We won't be able to get in. My parents came out with me, and I don't have the keys.

en	Oh, right. You're basically a fugitive right now.

en	Why do you wanna go to my house, anyway? You've already been there a bunch of times.

en	It's fun seeing where you live.

en	I feel like I learn something new every time I go.

en	Really? Like what?

en	Like, you have to sleep in a girly pink blanket while Jun gets the Hot Wheels one.

en	And there's a treadmill in the living room.

en	Remember the time you tried to run on it at 10 Speed to impress me, fell off, and broke your arm?

en	I, I don't remember that! You must've remembered wrong.

en	And you brush your teeth too hard, so your toothbrush bristles look hilarious.

en	They're all flattened.

en	What's so funny about that?

en	I have to make sure I kill the germs!

en	Of course you do.

en	Noelle's house. We can say hi to Noelle.

en	What?! Why?!

en	I miss her.

en	You just saw her yesterday.

en	I miss her.

en	Yuck.

en	Oh, come on. You should give her a chance.

en	She's so funny. She looks at every individual grape before she eats it.

en	I know she's kinda aloof, but it'd be so cool if you were friends.

en	What's "aloof" mean?

en	It's like...cold. She always tries to hide how much she likes you. Like a cat.

en	Once you get used to it, it's sorta cute.

en	At this, Min's expression dramatically sours.

en	............

en	If you hate it that much, we can go somewhere else.

en	Home Depot lights section.

en	What's so great about that?

en	There's so many different lamps in one place. The designs are cool, and it's really bright.

en	The rest of the store is ordinary, but that one aisle feels like a special place in another world.

en	I like to pretend I'm furnishing a house and pick my favorites.

en	Hm.

en	I know it sounds bland. You don't have to.

en	No, let's go. It sounds like a place that'd be boring if I went with my parents, but fun if I go with you.

en	I know what you mean. If you're with someone you like, everywhere is interesting.

en	Which way to Home Depot?

en	...Not sure. I haven't been there in years.

en	Too bad...

en	Where should we go instead, then?

en	Min, you decide.

en	Are you sure? The place I want to take you is pretty far.

en	So if there's anywhere else you wanna go, we should probably knock that outta the way first.

en	There's still somewhere I wanna go

en	Nah, I'm good

en	{cps=0}So if there's anywhere else you wanna go, we should probably knock that outta the way first.{/cps}

en	On second thought, let's go somewhere else first.

en	Okay! Where?

en	Diya shakes her head.

en	Okay!

en	Then hold on tight.

en	You're not telling me where we're going?

en	It's a surprise.

en	After an extreme amount of effort on Min's part, they arrive at a ravine.

en	We....we...here!!!!

en	That wasn't even a coherent sentence...

en	Are you okay.

en	Y-yeah! What kinda weakling do you think I am?!

en	Her legs must feel like jelly right now, but there's no way she'd ever admit it.

en	Thanks for the ride.

en	You're welcome! Anytime!!

en	The place is down this hill and through the tunnel.

en	Should I get off? It's too steep to bike down.

en	Yeah!! Let's run down!

en	Min enthusiastically leaps off the bike and sprints down the hill!

en	The bike is just lying there in the grass...

en	Wait. We can't leave this.

en	............

en	Diya picks up the bike and runs after her.

en	Min is waiting at the mouth of the tunnel.

en	I wanna show you something on the other side. Let's walk through.

en	She peers into the darkness with a hopeful look on her face.

en	What're you looking for?

en	Skeletons.

en	Are you scared?

en	Don't worry. I'll protect you.

en	.................

en	Okay.

en	I'm counting on you, then.

en	Yeah!!

en	I'll protect you with my life!!!

en	Min grabs Diya's hand.

en	There's water on the ground. Hold on to me so you don't slip.

en	...If I slip like this, you'll just get dragged down with me.

en	No, I won't! Trust me!

en	Look at trees

en	Enter the tunnel

en	There's a squirrel scampering up the tree.

en	When it sees Diya staring, it lifts one paw.

en	Whoa!! It waved at us!

en	Min. It's waving. Min, look.

en	That squirrel just waved at us.

en	You're way too excited about this.

en	Then why are you smiling?

en	Because it's cute.

en	...?

en	Really. I didn't know you liked squirrels.

en	I was talking about you.

en	................

en	Diya's face feels strangely hot...

en	It's pitch black inside the tunnel.

en	If it weren't for Min, Diya actually would be a bit scared now.

en	Don't worry, Diya. I got this.

en	She stomps her foot. Her Skechers light up.

en	Whoa!!!

en	Diya is really impressed!

en	Teach me how to count to ten!

en	Okay. One.

en	Okay. {font=tamil.ttf}ஒன்று.{/font}

en	One!

en	{font=tamil.ttf}ஒன்று!{/font}

en	Two.

en	{font=tamil.ttf}இரண்டு.{/font}

en	Two!!!

en	{font=tamil.ttf}இரண்டு!!!{/font}

en	After a minute, Min has learned the numbers up to 10.

en	One two three four five six seven eight nine ten!!!

en	{font=tamil.ttf}ஒன்று இரண்டு மூன்று நான்கு ஐந்து ஆறு ஏழு எட்டு ஒன்பது பத்து!!!{/font}

en	I'm probably gonna forget it all over again in a few days.

en	Then I'll teach it to you again, when it happens.

en	I'll do it over and over forever if you want. I don't mind.

en	Okay. My turn to teach you.

en	I still remember some from last time.

en	{font=korean.ttf}하나 둘 셋 넷............ {/font}

en	...

en	{font=korean.ttf}다섯!{/font}

en	{font=korean.ttf}다섯?{/font}

en	{font=korean.ttf}다섯!{/font}

en	{font=korean.ttf}다섯. 다섯. 다섯.{/font}

en	{font=korean.ttf}하나 둘 셋 넷............ {/font}

en	...

en	I forgot it again.

en	{font=korean.ttf}다섯!{/font} How come you can never remember five?

en	It sounds off.

en	Off?! Does not.

en	Does too. It doesn't feel like a five.

en	{font=korean.ttf}다섯!{/font}

en	{font=korean.ttf}다섯.{/font}

en	....????????????

en	Dogs?

en	It takes a moment for Diya's eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight.

en	Do you like it?

en	!!???!! ??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	It's a dog park!

en	Can we go in even though we don't have a dog?

en	Yeah!

en	I found this place by accident back when I ran away from home.

en	A few weeks ago, Min ran away from home because she didn't want to eat a tomato.

en	The park is divided into two sides.

en	There's a sign above one of the gates. It reads:

en	{u}Small dogs only{/u} Under 30 pounds

en	Oh my god!! They have it separated by weight!

en	Under 30 pounds! That's so cute!

en	Which side do you wanna see?

en	Big dogs

en	Small dogs

en	Min swings the gate open and gestures for Diya to go ahead.

en	Ladies first.

en	................

en	There's so many dogs!!

en	They're all friends with each other!!! Dog friends!!!

en	I've died and gone to heaven!!!

en	A husky trots up to Diya with a frisbee in his mouth.

en	A chihuahua trots up to Diya with a frisbee in his mouth.

en	He drops it at Diya's feet and looks up at her expectantly.

en	He wants me to throw it!!!

en	Diya sets down the bike and hurls the frisbee as hard as she can.

en	The dog gallops after it!

en	He catches it with a running leap, zooms straight back to her, and drops it at Diya's feet again.

en	He's wagging his tail so hard that his butt shakes.

en	What a good dog!!!!

en	He's so talented!!!

en	Diya is almost crying...

en	Are you happy?

en	This is the best day of my life.

en	Thank you, Min.

en	You're welcome!

en	Do you wanna try throwing the frisbee?

en	No, it's fine. I like watching you do it.

en	Okay.

en	Diya throws the frisbee again. The dog tears off after it with such gusto that grass goes flying behind him.

en	...........

en	Hey, Diya.

en	...?

en	If you want, you can live in my house when we grow up. I'll buy you all the dogs you want.

en	All the dogs...!

en	And I'll get to see you every day. I'll drive you around in my Corvette and make everyone jealous.

en	Drive the dogs around too. They can wear goggles so the wind doesn't sting their eyes.

en	Yeah, sure. Whatever you want.

en	We'll be so far from our parents that we never have to see them again.

en	And if we go somewhere with snow, you can throw snowballs towards me and I'll punch them all out of the air. It'll look pretty cool.

en	Wow!!! Great plan!!!

en	Okay. Let's do it.

en	Really?! Are you sure?

en	Min reaches out and gently cups Diya's face with her palms.

en	GGFFKKKKGKJ??!! FGFJHFJ!!!!!

en	What's happening?? This is great!! Wow!!!!!!

en	!!!!!!!!!

en	....................

en	Diya hits her alarms and flops face-first into bed.

en	Her morning routine includes lying in bed for 10 minutes thinking about how tired she is.

en	{cps=0}Her morning routine includes lying in bed for 10 minutes thinking about how tired she is. {/cps}

en	....................

en	I didn't realize it back then, but now that I think about it, that was really...

en	....................

en	Could it be that I'm...I'm a...

en	Les....................lesb.............

en	....biab....

en	Les...............biam......

en	........Girls.........

en	....................

en	No, that's impossible. I don't feel that way about other girls at all.

en	Because Min looked and acted like that, my heart must've confused her with a guy.

en	Any girl would've felt something even if they were straight.

en	And it was just her. Min was special, so she was an exception.

en	Plus, nothing ever came out of it. It's in the past now.

en	Something like that'll never happen again.

en	So it doesn't count, right?

en	....................

en	If Min hadn't moved away, what would've happened?

en	After 10 minutes, Diya unenthusiastically peels herself off the mattress and stands.

en	My classmate Akarsha messaged me.

en	{nw}

en	ay diya

en	ay

en	ayy

en	What

en	what do u call a lesbian w long nails??

en	single xD

en	Diya has gone offline.

en	..........

en	Diya goes outside.

en	Hey Diya!

en	If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

en	.....................

en	Diya briskly begins walking away without her.

en	Man, you're not even trying!

en	The optimal counterflirt would be, "Then I’ll be your topoisomerase to help you relieve your tension."

en	No one in the right mind would respond with that!

en	Hey, you know I'm just kidding, right?

en	When there's no one around to flirt with, I flirt with you just to practice.

en	It's not funny.

en	In her haste to catch up with Diya, Akarsha trips over a crack in the sidewalk.

en	Parkour.

en	.....................

en	The Prop 8 supporters are back at it again.

en	Defend marriage! Yes on Prop 8!

en	Protect the children! Gay sex is sin!

en	Hey, Diya...

en	Imagine biting into a Gusher the size of your hand.

en	Diya imagines it.

en	Cool

en	Yuck

en	Cool.

en	I want one.

en	Right??

en	Yuck.

en	Yuck?!

en	Too big.

en	We're here.

en	Diya! Help me!

en	Bonjour,

en	Noelle smacks Akarsha really hard!

en	OW!! How mean!!!

en	Noelle hands Diya the water bottle as though nothing happened.

en	Diya twists the plastic sealed cap open and returns the bottle to Noelle.

en	Thank you.

en	Are you alright? You seem off.

en	Think about that before you hit me??

en	Not everything is about you. I was talking to Diya.

en	...?!

en	What? But there's nothing wrong with her.

en	Are you blind? She looks like a dog who just ate a Christmas ornament.

en	Crap! That obvious??

en	Are you devastated about tiger sharks again?

en	What?

en	Diya found a picture of what tiger sharks look like the other day and was so disappointed that she had to go lie down.

en	I don't even know what she was expecting.

en	Okay, I seriously doubt that's the issue right now.

en	Diya, let me rephrase.

en	You are secretly worried about something and you can tell me what it is.

en	......................

en	I can't tell her. That I'm......

en	.....................

en	I knew it. She's becoming emo.

en	All the warning signs were there. The black hair, the—

en	We {i}ALL{/i} have black hair.

en	Diya, you know you can tell me anything, right?

en	Let me know if you change your mind.

en	Okay.

en	Look at flier

en	The flier says: Join the new Baseball Club!! Beginners welcome!

en	!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	It's a baseball club!!!

en	Baseball club!!!!!

en	It'll probably be all guys.

en	What? Don't girls play baseball, too?

en	I saw on TV before.

en	You're thinking of softball. Not baseball.

en	What's the difference?

en	Softball is like baseball put through Google Translate and back.

en	Everything's off by a few degrees.

en	Diya takes a closer look at the flyer. The first meeting is this Friday.

en	It'll be scary going all by myself. But I made a promise, back then.

en	She would've been disappointed if I didn't go.

en	Tall girl

en	Club member

en	Mom

en	At the meeting

en	Are you going to be okay on your own with a bunch of strangers?

en	...............

en	I thought so.

en	If you're going, I'm going with you.

en	!!!

en	But don't you hate sports?

en	Of course I won't participate. I'll just utilize the time to do homework.

en	Thanks.

en	Phew. I feel a bit better now.

en	Back by unpopular demand: me.

en	Why are you here?

en	I'm bored. There's not enough drama around here for my taste.

en	I'll be the idea man.

en	We don't need an "idea man"!

en	New baseball rule: Everyone gets a brick. What you do with it is up to you.

en	Baseball without limits.

en	JUST GO HOME ALREADY!!

en	There's a stranger over there.

en	Wow, she's taller than me.

en	.........

en	Diya accidentally makes eye contact with her!

en	...Hey!

en	.......!

en	The stranger starts walking over!

en	Crap. She's coming this way.

en	She looks intimidating! If I say the wrong thing she'll think I'm weird.

en	Maybe if I lie motionless on the ground she'll think I'm asleep or dead.

en	Yeah. Good plan.

en	Diya plays dead!

en	No! Diya, don't do this!

en	Hey! You guys are here to join the baseball club, right?

en	I'm Chryssa!

en	They call me...Ookoobshoob.

en	NO, THEY DON'T.

en	It's Welsh.

en	IT'S NOT Welsh.

en	Her name is Akarsha.

en	I'm so sorry. She's always like this.

en	And this is Diya. Get up!

en	Noelle is trying to pull an unresponsive Diya back into upright position.

en	Really???

en	Uh...is she okay?

en	She's fine. She just takes a while to warm up to people.

en	No kidding. She did this to me for the entire month of September.

en	........

en	Diya has finally given up on faking her death...

en	Quiet kid, huh?

en	Why does everyone always say that? I'm not that quiet.

en	She's not much of a talker, but she's SHREDDED.

en	Look how ripped her abs are.

en	Akarsha tries to lift up Diya's shirt to expose her stomach.

en	Calmly, Diya catches Akarsha's wrist and twists it behind her back.

en	Augh!! Okay!! Mercy!!

en	Diya played a lot of baseball back in elementary school.

en	That's great! What position did she play?

en	Uh........

en	She's the person standing behind the.....the swinging place.

en	You mean the batter's box. I'm a catcher.

en	The {i}swinging place?{/i} Really, man?

en	Shut up! How was I supposed to know?!

en	What do you call the bat, then? "The baseball stick"?

en	I said shut up!!!

en	What about you, Akarsha?

en	I can bench press over six million and ninety-two nanograms.

en	...That's barely 2 pounds.

en	It sounded better the way I said it.

en	Chryssa turns to Noelle and points at her.

en	What about you? You haven't introduced yourself yet.

en	Oh, I'm not here to join. We probably won't meet again.

en	That's a shame. I should try to change your mind.

en	I strongly advise against it. Your efforts will prove futile.

en	If you say so...

en	In any case, we're glad you all came. We'll be starting the meeting in a bit.

en	In the meantime, you guys can get your paperwork from Liz first.

en	Gotcha.

en	Chryssa goes off to greet some other girls who showed up.

en	I guess she isn't too scary after all.

en	She seems like the kind of person who'd walk into a pizza restaurant she ate at one time 6 years ago and yell, "Remember us??"

en	Girl from before

en	......!

en	Hello! Can I help you?

en	You must be Liz.

en	Yup!

en	She hands them their forms.

en	I don't need one. I'm not here to join.

en	Aw, are you sure?

en	We'd love to have you!

en	No, you really don't. I'm not the athletic type.

en	Then joining us would do you some good, don't you think?

en	We need all the players we can get, so don't be afraid we'll reject you or anything like that.

en	We'll accept you no matter what. Whether you're good, bad, dumb, weird, unathletic...

en	What's with all those insults mixed in??

en	And no, I'm genuinely not interested. I hate sports.

en	I'm just here for Diya.

en	That's so sweet of you.

en	It's not as though it takes a lot of effort to sit here and do nothing.

en	I coincidentally happened to be free today, anyway.

en	Awww! You don't have to get all embarrassed about it.

en	I'm not getting embarrassed!

en	Liz smiles at Diya, who shrinks back in fear.

en	I'm so glad you came!

en	I had a feeling you would.

en	Changed your mind about the club, have you?

en	I knew you'd come around.

en	I was at one of your games when you were little.

en	You were so scary! Everyone would back up whenever you came up to bat.

en	By the way, why is everyone in this club a girl?

en	What?

en	They are?!

en	Look. There's us four, Chryssa, and then some other random girls over there.

en	That's so odd.

en	So it isn't on purpose?

en	Nope. I don't know why those other girls joined.

en	What a strange coincidence.

en	Are you SURE you guys didn't, like, subconsciously do it?

en	Why would we subconsciously want a group of girls?

en	'Cause guys are like communism.

en	They're good in concept, but in reality they suck.

en	When you gather enough guys into a group, they suddenly become a bunch of douchebags.

en	It's like magic.

en	What kind of overgeneralization is that?

en	It's not racist if it's true!

en	Do you ever stand in a circle of people talking and not say anything the entire time?

en	There's no reason for me to be here. I wonder how it's so easy for them to just talk.

en	Diya stares off into space.

en	Eventually, the conversation draws to a close and Liz goes off to attend to other club members.

en	Finally.

en	*whispering* Dude, I just can't get over how weird her name is.

en	The heck kind of name is "Liz"?

en	It's probably short for something.

en	Like what? Liz...bian? Lesbian?

en	THAT'S NOT A NAME.

en	Liz...ard Man?

en	That'd be a thousand times weirder than "Liz" in the first place!

en	No, wait. I've got it.

en	Her parents met at a Petco when the lizards went on sale, but there was only one left.

en	So then they were like, "Darn. We gotta get married and share it."

en	No one would get married over that!

en	You'd be surprised, man. Some people are hella desperate.

en	Nobody is {i}that{/i} desperate!

en	And then Lizard Man was born.

en	They gave their kid a name that paid homage to her lizard origins, but in a low-key way.

en	Totally plausible. Myth {i}confirmed{/i}.

en	Noelle is trying really hard not to smile.

en	Myth NOT confirmed. Her name could just be "Liz" by itself!

en	Nawwww, that's boring. My beautiful romance is way better.

en	Your "beautiful romance" was set in Petco!

en	So picky, man!

en	What kind of Frenchman are you?

en	Weird name...no mustache...no romance...

en	Look, how is my name weird?

en	All names have to originate from somewhere.

en	I don't get why you're so fixated on it.

en	Because it's strange?

en	Isn't Noelle normally a name you give to kids born in December?

en	My parents are Asian. They don't know that.

en	It's like how there's a guy in our class named Skye because his parents didn't know it's a girl name.

en	There's also a Chinese guy in the grade above us named Stone.

en	STONE...

en	I'm pretty sure my parents stole my name from a random girl who lived down the street.

en	They probably didn't know a lot of Western names and just thought it sounded good.

en	But still, what kind of Chinese parents would name their kid Noelle?

en	It doesn't match up at all. It's like if I had a kid and named him Naruto.

en	Noelle looks really taken aback.

en	That...that would be weird.

en	Literally all your ancestors going back for CENTURIES had names like Wong Kar-wai or Mulan or whatever.

en	And then there's you! Combo breaker.

en	Also, do you ever think about how crazy it is that we're friends.

en	In any part of history up until now, we never would've met.

en	And even if we did by some miracle, we wouldn't speak the same language.

en	We wouldn't even be able to communicate.

en	Well, you and Akarsha could.

en	Naw, we wouldn't.

en	They don't speak Hindi in Tamil Nadu. Right, Madrasi?

en	Don't call me that.

en	What's wrong with calling you Madrasi when you're from Madras?

en	What's wrong with calling you an idiot when you are one?

en	It's sad imagining Noelle all by herself on a little island in Taiwan.

en	What do you mean "all by herself"?

en	It's not like I'd be completely alone without you two.

en	................

en	................

en	STOP LOOKING SKEPTICAL.

en	I would be able to make different friends.

en	.......Sure.........

en	If you say so...

en	YOU'RE THE WORST! I HATE YOU!!!!

en	Chryssa brings her fingers to her lips and lets out a sharp whistle to get their attention.

en	Alright guys!! Meeting's starting!

en	Everyone gathers in front of Chryssa and Liz.

en	Welcome to the Baseball Club!

en	As you're probably aware, our school doesn't have an official baseball program anymore. So we made one ourselves.

en	You guys can think of it as a baseball team, Lite edition.

en	Or a cheap budget edition. Since we can't afford to hire managers and stuff.

en	Lite edition sounds less scrappy. Like Coke Zero.

en	Anyhow, you can read up on the details in your club membership forms! It's pretty self explanatory.

en	This is just a recreational club for fun, not an official school sports team, so the paperwork is really simple.

en	There's just a membership fee and a sheet your parents have to sign.

en	Basically, the sheet says if you get hurt or whatever while you're here, you can't sue us.

en	Oh, and our practice schedule's in there, too. Though we're still negotiating our game dates.

en	A girl standing in front of Diya raises her hand.

en	Game dates? Who are we playing against?

en	Whoever we can get. Mostly teams from other schools.

en	But don't worry, it'll be pretty casual.

en	Hopefully we'll have enough members to at least fill the roster by then.

en	Any other questions?

en	If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it visibly change color?

en	Any {i}relevant{/i} questions?

en	Silence...

en	Then let's all introduce ourselves with a cheesy icebreaker activity!

en	Say your name, grade, and one fun fact about yourself.

en	Diya immediately wants to go home!

en	No!!!! I hate these!!!!!

en	I can never think of any fun facts! I'm boring!!

en	I'll start! I'm Chryssa, and I'm a senior.

en	Fun fact. Uh...

en	I have one.

en	She reads cryptid articles at night and scares herself, and then is afraid to get up and use the bathroom.

en	If you're going to choose a fact for me, at least choose a flattering one!

en	My turn now! I'm Liz, and I'm a senior too.

en	Her fun fact is that she can lick her elbow.

en	I thought that was supposed to be impossible?

en	Do it!

en	Liz does it.

en	WHAT THE...

en	What is she, a clown??

en	Diya has gone back to being afraid of Liz again!

en	Liz gestures at another girl to go next.

en	Watashi wa Sakura desu.

en	And I'm Yuki.

en	"Sakura"

en	"Yuki"

en	THERE'S NO WAY THOSE ARE YOUR REAL NAMES.

en	Hey, it doesn't hurt to humor them! Support their interests!

en	Watashi wa am in 10th grade.

en	Watashi wa am in 10th grade too.

en	STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.

en	I'VE FOUND MY PEOPLE...

en	The next girl up looks more normal.

en	Ester

en	I'm Ester —

en	Wait. Why are you here??

en	I tried to recruit you before. You said you weren't interested in baseball.

en	I'll give it a chance.

en	Alright, which anime has baseball in it?

en	What? I never said it was because of —

en	Which anime has baseball in it?

en	It's Oofuri.

en	.............

en	Don't tell me that's why Sakura and Yuki are here, too...

en	Heck no.

en	I'm here because of Daiya no Ace.

en	.............

en	.............

en	What, is it a crime to like anime?

en	Yes.

en	Okay, let's move on.

en	Diya watches the icebreaker's progress with mounting terror.

en	Her palms have grown clammy, like when she's getting ready to say "Here" during roll call.

en	Crap. It's almost my turn and I still can't think of any cool facts.

en	"I like crunching on ice cubes?"

en	"When I go to people's houses, {w=0.35}I'm too scared to ask where the cups are, {w=0.35}so I go to the bathroom and drink from the faucet instead?"

en	"Whenever an assembly is over and we're supposed to help carry the folding chairs back,{w=0.35} I secretly hope people notice how many I'm holding?"

en	These are all so bad!{w=0.35} What the???

en	By now, three other people have gone.{w=0.35} It's Akarsha's turn...

en	What up ding dongs!{w=0.35} I'm a freshman.

en	Ding dongs...

en	My name is...{w=0.35}Weekeeshee.

en	................

en	Fun fact:{w=0.35} I once found 2 mutant tater tots that were fused together and sold them on eBay for $40.

en	Selling things sounds stressful.

en	I would've just eaten them.

en	Noelle is the next one over,{w=0.35} so everyone looks at her expectantly.

en	Skip me.{w=0.35} I'm not here to join.

en	Let's move on to Diya, shall we?

en	All eyes are on Diya now...

en	Okay!!!{w=0.35} Calm down, me!!

en	All I have to do is say "I'm Diya."

en	But wait...{w=0.35} Didn't she just say my name?

en	Does it seem redundant if I repeat it?

en	No, I'm overthinking this.{w=0.35} I should just say it like everyone else.

en	I'm Diya.

en	Yeah.{w=0.35} So far, so good.

en	...........

en	What else was I supposed to say?

en	??????????

en	Panic is rising in Diya's chest!

en	I've already messed up! I'm embarrassing myself in front of everyone!

en	This is the worst! Even worse than reading a passage out loud in class!

en	I shouldn't have come here!

en	Diya bolts from the meeting!

en	Distantly, she can hear Noelle calling out after her.

en	Diya! Wait!

en	I can't go back now!

en	Powered by nervous energy, Diya barrels into the locker room.

en	Her plan now is basically to run as far as her legs will carry her.

en	I suddenly feel like running 3 or 4 miles!!!

en	Diya crashes into someone!

en	????!

en	Ow?? I landed on my butt...

en	Someone is lying on top of her. They roughly grab the front of Diya's shirt.

en	Watch where you're going, motherfu—

en	........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	DIYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	IT'S YOU!!!!!!!!

en	Min hugs her!

en	KGJFGK!!! FDJFDSFDH!!!!!

en	Wow!!!!!!! This is great!!!!!!!!!!!

en	I promised I'd come back, didn't I?

en	I'm never letting go of you again!!

en	Okay.

en	.....................

en	.....................

en	I'M GAY. I'M GAY. I'M GAY!

en	I need to get up.

en	Um.

en	Actually, this ground is really gross and dirty.

en	I can see other people's hair on it.

en	Oh. Okay, I'll let you up.

en	Min gets off and looks Diya up and down as she staggers to her feet.

en	Wow...I almost forgot how pretty you are.

en	You could be a model.

en	....................

en	I almost forgot she did this all the time...

en	You didn't get taller than me.

en	Hey, I'm still growing.

en	You're off by almost a foot.

en	There's still hope!

en	You really never give up, do you.

en	Of course not.

en	I'll work hard so I can take you!

en	O-OVERTAKE! I MEAN OVERTAKE YOU!

en	In an attempt to hide her embarrassment, Min turns her head to the side and points to her ear.

en	Look! I have piercings now!

en	Don't I look cool??

en	You look cool.

en	And I got a butterfly knife!!!

en	Min pulls a knife out!!

en	Watch this!!!

en	Min flips the knife open and does a trick! It looks really dangerous!

en	Whoa!! Min is so brave!!

en	I missed you.

en	I missed you too!

en	{font=korean.ttf}사랑해.{/font}

en	................

en	{font=tamil.ttf}வணக்கம்!{/font}

en	{font=tamil.ttf}நான் குசு விரும்புகிறேன்!{/font}

en	!!!

en	Someone runs into the locker room! She's wheezing so hard for breath that Diya knows who it is before looking.

en	Diya, there you are!

en	Everyone is looking for y—

en	{i}You!{/i}

en	..............

en	..............

en	How...you...Why are you here?

en	That's my line.

en	I can't believe Diya still lets a weakling like you hang out with her.

en	You...you Empire State Building.

en	Min does a trick with her butterfly knife!

en	Why do you have a knife?!

en	Put that away.

en	I'll put it away...in your heart!!!

en	..............

en	............

en	............

en	Shut up!!!!! It sounded cooler in my head!!!!

en	No one even said anything.

en	Anyway, aren't knives like that illegal in California?

en	If I wanted to, I could report you to the police.

en	.........

en	Min reluctantly puts the knife away.

en	Fuck you.

en	Min threateningly draws in closer to Noelle and whispers into her ear, voice low.

en	The dramatic effect is slightly ruined by the fact that Min has to step on top of a storage bin to be taller.

en	I hate you. I hate you more than the stringy things on bananas.

en	Why?! I didn't even do anything!

en	Shut up!

en	I won't lose to you!!!

en	What are you even talking about?

en	Someday, Diya is gonna realize she's out of your league.

en	You're not even taller than her anymore, so all your advantages are gone.

en	I don't...what???

en	When she doesn't like you anymore, I'll gut you and feed you to her dog.

en	She doesn't even have a dog.

en	I'll buy her a dog and train it to eat you.

en	Someone else ran into the locker room!

en	It only takes a second for Diya and Noelle to recognize the sound of Akarsha's flip-flops.

en	Ayyy! Chryssa and Liz are looking for you tw—

en	...........

en	...........

en	...........

en	...........

en	Uh...Have I missed something here?

en	Who the fuck are you?

en	Who the fuck are {i}you{/i}?

en	I asked first, jackass.

en	Wao!! Almost cut myself on this EDGE!!!

en	Before Akarsha can react, Min grabs the front of her jacket and slams her back to the wall.

en	You want a piece of me?

en	Uh...whoa.

en	Not gonna lie, if you were taller this would be pretty hot.

en	Min punches Akarsha in the face!

en	Oh no!

en	Stop it!

en	Diya picks Min up and throws her several feet across the room.

en	Min—

en	You stay back! I'll handle this!

en	No, but—

en	Is anyone gonna explain to me what's going on here?!

en	Who's this emo shortie??

en	Who're you calling short?!

en	But you are short...

en	Min charges at Akarsha!

en	YaaaaAAAAaaaAAAA!!!!!!

en	Akarsha kicks her foot out so that the flip-flop flies off!

en	It hits Min's face with a loud slap!

en	Mmph?!

en	Min tackles Akarsha to the ground!

en	You think you're so smart, huh?!

en	WELL, GUESS WHAT!!! I HATE SMART PEOPLE!!!

en	Her hands close around Akarsha's neck. In a panic, Akarsha scrabbles at Min's wrists, but it's no use!

en	USE YOUR HEAD, YOU STUPID CLOWN!!!!!!

en	IF YOU DIE I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!

en	Akarsha sticks a hand down her own leggings!

en	What the fuck?

en	This better not be your kink or somethi—

en	Akarsha smears her period blood-caked hand across Min's face.

en	URRGHKK!!?????!

en	Min let go!

en	PFF!! PPFBT!!

en	EW!!! YUCK!!!

en	In the confusion, Akarsha staggers to her feet, gasping for breath.

en	Noelle rushes to support her.

en	When Akarsha slings her arm over Noelle's shoulders, she accidentally brushes Noelle with her bloody hand.

en	YOU CONTAMINATED ME TOO!!!!

en	Noelle shoves Akarsha away, leaving her to fend for herself.

en	Akarsha menacingly holds out her dirty hand in Min's direction, like a weapon.

en	Min backs away, desperately avoiding being touched by the period blood hand.

en	Stay away! Can't touch this!!

en	You...you nasty ass hoe...!

en	That's me! If I can't win by being a kung-fu master...

en	I'll win by being a piece of garbage!

en	Min looks weirdly moved by Akarsha's words!

en	You crazy bitch...

en	Who ARE you?

en	They call me...Rail Tracer.

en	Literally NO ONE calls you that.

en	Quiet, you!

en	Min has stopped attacking completely now. In fact, she looks kind of impressed.

en	You're the worst scum ever.

en	Let's be friends.

en	...Really?

en	So we cool?

en	I guess.

en	More importantly, that was really gross just now, so I never want to fight you again.

en	Let's start over.

en	I'm Min.

en	Min???

en	As in, the delinquent kid? The one who knifed someone?

en	Yeah? Got a problem with that?

en	Are you kidding me? I've been looking for you.

en	I need a dumb rebel friend to enable me to make bad decisions.

en	They're...getting along?!

en	What's happening???? I don't like this!

en	With her clean hand, Akarsha makes a fist and offers it out to Min.

en	Bros?

en	Bros.

en	They fist bump.

en	Be the yee to my haw...

en	The knuckles to my enchilada....

en	The human to my centipede...

en	I don't like this!

en	We can annoy Noelle...together...!

en	I have a terrible feeling about this!

en	Min is quickly taking the opportunity to wipe her face on Akarsha's windbreaker.

en	Ew, no! Stop!

en	It's your own damn blood!

en	I don't want it either, man!

en	Noelle tries to wipe her contaminated arm on Akarsha, too. Akarsha dodges to avoid it.

en	Augh!

en	Diya! Hold her down!

en	Okay.

en	No! No, please, Diya, homie, listen,

en	With brutal efficiency, Diya grabs Akarsha's wrist, covers the bloody hand with a plastic bag, and ties it shut.

en	Then, she pins Akarsha to the ground, thrashing and screaming.

en	Chryssa and Liz come through the door with the rest of the team following after them!

en	Akarsha, Diya, Noelle, and Min freeze mid-scuffle, still covered in blood.

en	Good, you're all he—

en	What the?!

en	Noelle points accusingly at Min.

en	It's all her fault! Diya did nothing wrong!

en	What?! It's your fault for being annoying!

en	You started it! You called me names first!

en	Okay, we don't care who started it!

en	Liz stumbles over Akarsha's fallen flip-flop on the ground.

en	Whose shoe is this?

en	Oh. Mine.

en	Why isn't it on your foot?

en	I kicked it off.

en	.........Why..........

en	She hit me!

en	Akarsha points at Min.

en	How old are you guys?! Five?!

en	Exasperated, Chryssa turns to Min.

en	And you're Min? You here to play baseball, too?

en	Yeah. I got here late.

en	Well Min, I'm Chryssa.

en	She has a knife!

en	You damn snitch!

en	Hand the knife over.

en	Why should I?

en	Because if you don't, I won't let you play baseball.

en	You...You can do that?

en	I can do that.

en	Min looks very shocked...

en	You can have it back when we're done.

en	But you don't need it here.

en	Min pulls the knife from her pocket and gives it to Chryssa.

en	All of them.

en	Come on. We don't have all day.

en	Reluctantly, Min shakes her jacket out. Several more knives clatter to the ground.

en	Chryssa puts them all on top of a cabinet in the corner of the room.

en	It's too tall for Min to reach. She sadly looks up at them.

en	Let's go to the field and actually play some baseball now.

en	We're going to lock this place up, so you can leave your backpacks here.

en	Well, I need mine. I'm going to do my homework.

en	Sorry! If you're here, you're playing.

en	I refuse.

en	So you want to do this the hard way? Good, because I love the hard way.

en	Then I have no obligation to stay here and argue with you. Diya's fine now; I'm going home.

en	Really? Then where're your house keys?

en	What kind of question is that?

en	They're right here in my....

en	Noelle whirls to the spot where she put down her bookbag earlier.

en	It's gone.

en	Chryssa adds Noelle's bookbag to the top of the cabinet.

en	NoOOO!!!!

en	Come on! Suffering builds character!

en	I don't want character!

en	I guess we're all playing baseball now?

en	Problem 1) ³¹¿˘‰◊ℓ₫₅—₎⁷393<3?

en	What is this?

en	I can't read the test paper.

en	{cps=0}Problem 1) ³¹¿˘‰◊ℓ₫₅—₎⁷393<3?{/cps}

en	12

en	-3

en	3565

en	Infinity

en	Problem 2) ₫₅—₎⁷6544³¹¿˘‰2 - 3◊ℓ34?

en	I don't know anything! I don't understand any of this!

en	I'm going to fail. All my hard work up until now was for nothing!

en	Wake up.

en	What?

en	Wake up.

en	................

en	Diya looks very concerned...

en	I had a nightmare.

en	Ugh...That was silly. It wasn't even real.

en	Sorry. Feel better.

en	She presents Noelle with a poorly wrapped, lumpy gift almost as big as she is.

en	Happy birthday.

en	Despite Diya's best efforts, several spots of the gift aren't properly covered with the wrapping paper and Noelle can see clearly what's inside.

en	I appreciate your kindness.

en	May I open it here?

en	Diya nods eagerly.

en	Noelle unwraps the present and pretends to be shocked by its contents.

en	It's a giant bright green snake plush.

en	His name is Snakey.

en	Look at how he's striped.

en	Noelle looks. Indeed, he's striped.

en	He's the youngest. He has two older brothers and a sister.

en	You bought this for me?

en	I won him from the hammer game at the fair.

en	Hit the hammer really hard.

en	I chose him because he reminds me of you.

en	He reminds her of me, how??

en	I don't even like snakes. And stuffed animals are a useless waste of space.

en	Yet against all logic, a lump forms in Noelle's throat, impossible to swallow.

en	Noelle quickly stamps down all stupid emotions and focuses on organizing her thoughts.

en	Thank you.

en	He is green, soft, and at least 5 feet long.

en	I will place him in my bedroom and preserve him in mint condition for as long as possible.

en	................

en	She looks happy.

en	A warm and fuzzy feeling swells in Noelle's chest.

en	You're my favorite person.

en	I think I may have developed some kind of attachment to you, too.

en	We should go on vacation together someday. When we grow up.

en	Would be fun.

en	That WOULD be fun...

en	I would accompany you with only mild complaining.

en	Where?

en	Maybe England.

en	Can go to Diagon Al—

en	................

en	Noelle watches Diya's face drop as she silently goes through the 5 stages of grief remembering most of the locations in Harry Potter aren't real.

en	We can at least see Platform 9 3/4. They put a plaque of it at King's Cross.

en	Okay.

en	What else do you want to see in England?

en	................

en	All-you-can-eat buffet.

en	They have those here, too.

en	It's so simple to make you happy.

en	If everyone thought like you, there would be no wars.

en	Diya doesn't appear to know how to respond to this, so she just looks away and smiles shyly.

en	................

en	If we run out of things to do in England, we can always watch TV in our hotel room.

en	No. You complain too much when things aren't scientifically correct.

en	Like, when radioactive things cause super powers.

en	You get so hung up on it. It's distracting.

en	Distracting how?

en	Distracting like...

en	Noelle, watching a movie in class last week

en	{big=16}SHUT UP!{w=0.2} SHUT UP!! {w=0.2}SHUT UP!!!!{/big}

en	{big=16}THIS IS NOT SCIENTIFIC!!!{/big}

en	{big=16}HE CAN'T DO THAT! {w=0.2}THAT'S NOT HOW NUCLEAR PHYSICS WORKS!!{/big}

en	{big=16}NO!!!! {w=0.2}SHUT UP!!!!!{/big}

en	...We can watch an educational nature documentary, then. Like Planet Earth.

en	I don't like the part where the baby elephant follows its mom's tracks the wrong way.

en	We can skip the part where the baby elephant follows its mom's tracks the wrong way.

en	Suddenly, Diya starts climbing off the playground structure.

en	Just remembered.

en	Actually, Diya had been preparing to say this for the past 15 minutes.

en	Want you to meet someone.

en	I made a new friend yesterday.

en	Really? Who?

en	Min.

en	..."Min"? Is that a boy or a girl?

en	...................

en	...Not sure.

en	How can you not be sure?! Didn't you meet?

en	It was hard to tell.

en	You'll see what I mean.

en	I will?

en	When you become friends.

en	Min is really nice.

en	Gave me a seaweed sheet.

en	I've never seen you this excited over someone before.

en	They must really be something.

en	Diya looks like she agrees.

en	This must be him...her.

en	..............

en	Instead of introducing them, Diya is just happily standing there in silence.

en	.............

en	The other girl(?) circles around Noelle, sizing her up.

en	Her face darkens when she sees the snake plushie Diya gave her.

en	..............

en	So you're Diya's best friend.

en	You...you giraffe.

en	What...?

en	{big=+20}I'LL FIGHT YOU!!!!{/big}

en	Excuse me?!

en	There can only be one of us.

en	So we have to duel.

en	I'll beat you in hand to hand combat.

en	What?! No!

en	Starting in 3!!! 2!!!! 1!!!!

en	I ALREADY SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	What was that all about? What an idiot...

en	What does Diya see in someone that dumb?

en	I don't understand.

en	I'm home.

en	What did you get on the math test?

en	An A-.

en	A-? Why not A?

en	Noelle's mom is cutting a column out of the Chinese newspaper.

en	Look at this article.

en	This boy was accepted into every single Ivy League college. He lives in Pleasanton.

en	If he can do it, why can't you?

en	I'm putting this on your wall. To inspire you.

en	She gets up and tapes it up in Noelle's bedroom next to a poem her dad printed out, "There is no Success without Hardship".

en	Can I go to the park with Diya this Saturday?

en	What for?

en	We're taking a walk around the lake.

en	There's also a Petco nearby. She wants to look at the fish and hamsters.

en	Will Diya still be your friend if you say no?

en	Yes, but I want to—

en	Then there's no point.

en	Now that you've already established your friendship, you should be expending the minimum amount of energy to maintain it.

en	Otherwise you're just wasting your limited time. Fun is an illusion.

en	Don't be controlled by your emotions.

en	But I'm free that Saturday! Chinese School is on break.

en	You can use it to study for your tests at school.

en	I already studied for them.

en	All of them?

en	I finished reading all my textbooks already. Twice.

en	Did you do all the practice problems?

en	I did all the practice problems.

en	Haha! Take that!

en	There's nothing that could possibly be left for me to do!

en	I'll buy next year's textbooks so you can get started on those, then.

en	..................

en	Upset, Noelle curls up in bed angrily hugging her giant snake plushie.

en	Read next year's textbook

en	— The Fox and the Grapes —

en	A hungry Fox saw a fine bunch of Grapes hanging from a vine.

en	He did his best to reach them by jumping as high as he could into the air.

en	But it was all in vain, for they were just out of reach.

en	So he gave up trying, and walked away with an air of dignity and unconcern, remarking,

en	"I thought those Grapes were ripe, but I see now they are quite sour."

en	Reading Comprehension Questions:

en	1) Why doesn't the fox eat the grapes?

en	{cps=0}1) Why doesn't the fox eat the grapes?{/cps}

en	They were sour

en	He couldn't reach them

en	He wasn't hungry

en	Kid playing outside

en	Through the window, Noelle can hear someone whiffing a badminton racket outside.

en	Sorry!

en	It's okay!

en	It sounds like they're playing badminton in the driveway without a net.

en	They're probably in the dumb kids class.

en	2) What does "It was all in vain" mean?

en	{cps=0}2) What does "It was all in vain" mean?{/cps}

en	It was useless

en	It was very close

en	It was a great success

en	Noooo!!!

en	Oh my god! Did you see that?

en	They're both laughing.

en	Stupid hooligans wasting their time.

en	Having fun?? HA! I'm above such petty unnecessities.

en	They'll regret it when they're working at McDonald's someday.

en	I hate sports anyway. I'm the real winner here!

en	3) What's the message of the story?

en	{cps=0}3) What's the message of the story?{/cps}

en	Appearances are deceptive

en	Look before you leap

en	It's easy to despise what you cannot have

en	Noelle, you're up to bat!

en	Noelle grudgingly steps up to the plate.

en	I hate sports!! Why am I here?!

en	Akarsha is pitching. She raises her eyebrows at Noelle as she winds up.

en	Wake up.

en	...What...?

en	Wake up, Frenchman. You're in a coma.

en	I AM NOT. YOU ARE TRYING TO CONFUSE ME, AND FAILING.

en	Akarsha pitches the ball!

en	Swing at the ball

en	Through sheer luck, Noelle manages to hit the ball!

en	It pops straight up! Noelle runs for first base with the agility of an old man with two broken legs.

en	I got it!

en	Chryssa catches it in her mitt.

en	The runner already on first base gives Noelle a strange look when she runs up to it.

en	Noelle, you're out!

en	Stop running. It's embarrassing.

en	What? Why?

en	She caught it, genius.

en	But...so? Why can't I run? How come the runner on first isn't out??

en	The rules of this game are really incomprehensible.

en	It's okay, nice try.

en	I don't need praise for failing. I'm not stupid.

en	Noelle grabs a mitt and joins Diya and the others on the field.

en	We're taking turns batting. Everyone who isn't a batter or runner is defending on the field.

en	It feels so odd to be doing this. I keep half-expecting someone to holler at me to get off.

en	Suddenly, Diya swerves back to avoid a bee flying at her face.

en	Did that bee just try to sting you?! COME BACK HERE YOU BITCH BEE COWARD I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP!!!

en	Min moves indignantly between Diya and the bee.

en	..................

en	She's trying to protect Diya from the bee.

en	Min throws a punch at the offending bee.

en	After silently watching a few fruitless swings, Diya takes off her hat and strikes the bee in mid-air with the bill of her cap.

en	It falls to the ground, dead.

en	Min beams at her with pure adoration in her eyes.

en	When did you move back?

en	About two weeks ago.

en	Wow, if we had any classes together we'd have crossed paths way sooner.

en	Does Jun-seo go here now too?

en	No, he's at a different school. He goes to Niles.

en	That's an easier, less Asian school.

en	Why would your parents put you in different schools?

en	They didn't. I originally went to there too, but I got expelled.

en	Expelled?!

en	How was Florida?

en	You're not going to ask about the "expelled" part???

en	Horrible!

en	They don't have boba places there! I had to drink milkshakes!!!

en	What the...that's crazy...

en	And everyone was white!

en	Are white people that bad?

en	They do shit like pull their eyes into slits and go "Ching chong ting tong!"

en	Or "Go back to China!" I'm not even Chinese!!

en	I had to get so good at beating people up!

en	What the heck. That sounds like a cartoon.

en	I thought racism was over.

en	Me too!

en	But they showed us that cartoon every year in class. Where they time travel to when there's segregation.

en	What happened?

en	Beats me.

en	The next batter strikes out.

en	Liz, who's acting as the catcher, returns the ball to Akarsha.

en	Akarsha fumbles it and drops it on the mound. Everyone watches disapprovingly as she scrambles to pick it back up.

en	...That was an illusion.

en	A trick of the light.

en	No, we clearly saw you mess up.

en	It's Diya's turn at bat now.

en	Diya hits the pitch with a downright scary amount of force.

en	The ball shoots over everyone's heads and lands in a tree in the distance, causing several startled crows to flap out.

en	YEAH!!!!!!

en	Whose side are you on?! We're supposed to be on defense!

en	Okay, but you have to admit that was sick.

en	Nice one, Diya!

en	!!!!!

en	It's Min's turn at the plate now.

en	She immediately grabs the heaviest bat they have.

en	Min-seo, are you sure you want to use that? We have other bats that are closer to your—

en	This one is fine.

en	She hasn't even tried the other ones...

en	But in general, people your size should use the 31 inch—

en	No!!! I'm not some weakling!!

en	On the mound, Akarsha paces back and forth as Min squares up in the batter's box.

en	Are you trying to psyche me out?

en	I bet you can't eat five crayons.

en	Oh yeah?! I bet I CAN.

en	No eating crayons while the club is in session, please...

en	Actually, Noelle, how about you try pitching now? It's been a while since we switched.

en	Me?!

en	Noelle switches places with Akarsha on the mound.

en	Bring it, you weak bitch!!

en	What're you insulting me for? We're on the same side now!

en	No, we're not?

en	What the heck are you talking about?

en	Don't baseball pitchers pitch to their own team?

en	No???

en	Everyone is shooting Noelle appalled looks...

en	No, you pitch against the enemy. It's the pitcher's goal not to let the batter get on base.

en	Oh, I see. So that's why they pitch at such high velocity— so it's harder for the batter to hit a touchdown.

en	Noelle, have you never watched a baseball game before?

en	Can you even name a single baseball team?

en	The San Jose Sharks

en	The San Francisco 49ers

en	The Oakland A's

en	The Sharks.

en	...

en	Chryssa looks like she's about to cry...

en	Noelle...That's a hockey team...

en	...Is it?

en	Well, how was I supposed to know? They're all pretty much the same.

en	The 49ers.

en	...

en	Chryssa looks like she's about to cry...

en	Noelle...That's a football team...

en	...Is it?

en	Well, how was I supposed to know? They're all pretty much the same.

en	The A's.

en	Chryssa looks immensely relieved.

en	Bravo. If you'd failed that, I probably would've started crying.

en	Min squares up in the batter's box.

en	Throw the ball

en	Noelle throws the ball with all her might!

en	...It plops back down into the grass not even halfway to Min.

en	The hell was that!? That throw was so soft!

en	Nobody ordered ice cream, Noelle! Get it together!

en	Alright! I get it!

en	I guess we'll count that as a ball.

en	What?

en	You didn't throw it through the strike zone. If you miss, it's a ball.

en	If you throw 4 balls before the batter strikes out, the batter goes to first base for free.

en	Where is the strike zone, exactly?

en	It starts at the midpoint between the top of the batter's shoulders and the top of their pants.

en	The bottom is a line at the hollow beneath the kneecap.

en	What happens if you're wearing a skirt?

en	Does it default to the nearest pair of pants you own?

en	You have to be wearing proper uniform pants to play official games.

en	There's rules about that.

en	If we wanna throw the game but in a subtle way, all we have to do is pull our pants up really high.

en	Like, up to our armpits.

en	THAT'S NOT SUBTLE AT ALL.

en	Assuming we play this the regular way, don't short people just naturally have smaller batting zones?

en	Since their bodies are smaller.

en	Yeah, it takes more precision to strike them out.

en	By the way, the measurements are based on the batter's stance, not while they're standing straight up.

en	Knowing that, can't we just reduce the batting zone's volume to zero by squatting down?

en	That way any pitch they throw becomes a ball.

en	I dunno if there's a rule against that, but if you do anything too weird, it'll be considered poor sportsmanship.

en	If it feels like the other people aren't playing fair, it won't be fun anymore.

en	The umpire will probably stop you, too.

en	Whenever something's not explicitly outlined in the rules, it's his call.

en	Okay, are we done explaining now? Can we play baseball?

en	Sure. I think we..."covered all the bases."

en	Get it??

en	Urgh!

en	Laugh politely

en	Don't laugh

en	Ha...ha...

en	Chryssa seems delighted that Noelle is laughing at her joke!

en	We had to make it....Chryssa-tal clear.

en	Noelle doesn't laugh!

en	That was horrible.

en	Chryssa looks disappointed by Noelle's cold reception to her joke!

en	My joke was a...swing and a miss.

en	I better pitch the ball before she says more.

en	Noelle hurls the ball with all her might!

en	...It plops down in the grass in the exact same spot as last time.

en	Diya raises her hand and looks at Chryssa expectantly, like she's waiting to be called on.

en	Yes? You can just talk, you don't have to do that.

en	Noelle doesn't have enough upper body strength to throw it that far.

en	That's a problem...No matter what position she plays, she's gonna have to throw it that far at some point.

en	Well, good thing I'm not joining this stupid club then.

en	Problem solved.

en	Alright, whatever. I'll pitch for now.

en	Noelle hands the ball over to Chryssa and joins Akarsha and Diya back on the field.

en	As Noelle jogs up to them, Akarsha plucks a dandelion from the grass and presents it to her.

en	If you were a flower, you'd be a DAMNdelion.

en	This is literally a weed.

en	Akarsha tries to blow the dandelion seeds into Noelle's eyes.

en	Stop that.

en	Min smacks Chryssa's pitch into the ground and takes off running.

en	Diya tears after it with the look of a dog chasing a squirrel. She scoops it up and throws it to Akarsha, who's manning first base now.

en	I got it! I got it!

en	Akarsha tries to catch it, but ends up knocking the ball away with the tip of her glove.

en	Akarsha, you need to work on your catches.

en	Huh? Why?

en	You dropped the ball.

en	What? That wasn't me.

en	That was totally you. Everyone saw.

en	Incredible. That must be...my lookalike from another dimension.

en	You briefly glimpsed a parallel universe when Akarsha didn't catch the ball.

en	But now you've crossed back over to the reality where I did catch it.

en	That explains the memory discrepancy.

en	It's the only logical explanation.

en	OR, YOU MESSED UP AND JUST WON'T ADMIT IT.

en	Min manages to round the bases and score thanks to Akarsha's mistake.

en	Akarsha! You're up to bat!

en	I'm ready!!

en	Akarsha twirls the bat behind her back, squats down for no reason, and hops several times like a frog before springing back up in a dramatic pose.

en	Is she going to do that every single time she goes up to bat?

en	Knowing her? Yes.

en	My signature.

en	You don't need a signature.

en	Watch out!

en	Huh?!

en	Akarsha batted a ball straight at Noelle!

en	Noelle flails her arm in a panicked attempt to catch the ball!

en	She misses it!

en	Chryssa does nothing. She's still sulking because Noelle didn't laugh at her joke.

en	OW!!!

en	Chryssa rushes in front of Noelle and catches the ball!

en	Um...Thanks.

en	No problem!

en	Oops.

en	That was.............

en	........ghost.

en	IT WASN'T A GHOST.

en	It's Min's turn to pitch now.

en	Chryssa hands the ball over to her and heads over to the plate to bat.

en	Whenever you're ready!

en	The fielders are all backing up. Chryssa's even taller than Diya, so she looks like she could hit it pretty far.

en	Min clutches the ball in a claw-like grip.

en	She brings her arm back and then forward, hard, over the top, and lets go.

en	As the ball approaches the plate it does a little hop, like a hiccup.

en	Chryssa looks weirded out. She doesn't swing.

en	The flutter is just enough to throw Liz off— the ball glances off the side of her glove and bounces off her kneecap.

en	What the...

en	It's kind of creepy, isn't it? Seeing the ball coming at you without spinning.

en	Yeah! It was, like, just floating at me...

en	Er...I couldn't tell the difference.

en	It looked normal to me.

en	Liz returns the ball to Min.

en	Min clutches it in the same messed up looking grip, rears up, and lets another pitch go.

en	Chryssa misses it by a foot. It's a pitch you couldn't hit with a tennis racket.

en	Liz has to twist into a weird angle to stop the ball in the dirt.

en	A knuckleball, huh!

en	What's that?

en	It's a rare pitch thrown with nearly no spin, so its path is unpredictable.

en	Oh. I get it! You're making this up as an excuse for why you missed.

en	I'm not making it up!

en	It operates on the same principle as a float serve in volleyball.

en	Or a knuckleball in soccer, if you know that.

en	Uh, no. I don't know either of those.

en	Okay, so when you pitch a ball normally, it spins like crazy — somewhere around 10 times on the way to the plate.

en	Spin is what gives a ball stability as it moves.

en	If you can learn to throw a ball with minimal spin, its instability will give it an unpredictable trajectory.

en	It starts behaving like a chaotic system, like the weather.

en	And that's great, because a lot of sports mastery is just recognizing situations.

en	Everyone says to "keep your eye on the ball", but it's actually impossible to do that due to the limitations of human reaction.

en	What good hitters actually do is anticipate the ball's flight path based on cues they recognize, from being in similar situations before in the past.

en	In other words, they don't see the ball. They just guess its trajectory.

en	Ah. But they can't do that against a knuckleball.

en	That's right. A knuckler's trajectory is drastically different each time it's pitched.

en	So no matter how good you are, there's no way to reliably hit it.

en	Thrown correctly, it moves so erratically that it's impossible to hit except through sheer luck.

en	...I still can't tell if you're making this all up as an excuse for why you suck.

en	No, it's real.

en	But you couldn't catch it, so it's also a convenient excuse for you.

en	And if it IS real, then why doesn't everyone use it? It sounds practically game-breaking.

en	Well, for one...

en	Knuckleball's one of the hardest pitches to throw in baseball. If not {i}the{/i} hardest.

en	Put a little too much spin on the ball or throw it just a little too fast, and you're basically serving up a meaty practice pitch that'll get hit out of the park.

en	And even at its best, a knuckler is a double-edged sword.

en	Batters can't hit it, but that also means pitchers can't control it, and catchers can't catch it.

en	When thrown right, even Min has no idea where it's going.

en	They say throwing a knuckleball for a strike is like throwing a butterfly into a mailbox across the street.

en	Even in the big leagues, catchers hate it.

en	And if I let it get past me, it could lead to the batter or a runner on base advancing.

en	With a knuckleballer pitching, the catcher has to focus so hard on stopping it that runners on base will have an easier time stealing.

en	It's a big pain.

en	So basically...it's hard to throw right, it's hard to control even when you do throw it right, and it's punishing if you miss.

en	Pretty much! No one trusts it.

en	Knuckleball is the pitch of someone with nothing left to lose.

en	And that's us.

en	We can try things that no coach in their right mind would ever risk. Because no one expects anything from us.

en	So we might as well take advantage of that, right?

en	Even if we don't win a single game, at least we'll have fun.

en	Fun?? What kind of nonsense is this???

en	Chryssa strikes out!

en	The ball ricochets off Liz's mitt and catches her bare hand, striking her thumb at a painful looking angle.

en	Ow!!

en	Okay, time-out!

en	That looked pretty painful...

en	Liz's thumb has turned a swollen purple.

en	Are you okay?

en	I'll live...

en	Min, is this all you know how to throw?

en	I can throw fastballs too, but they're not that fast.

en	So knuckleball is kind of my specialty.

en	I used to watch video tapes of Tim Wakefield pitching on TV over and over again, and copied that.

en	It's the only pitch I really practiced.

en	That's so smart! Honing all your skill on an off-speed pitch, knowing that you don't have the muscle to throw fast.

en	Did your coach suggest it?

en	Uh, no. I didn't have one.

en	No one taught me anything. I taught myself.

en	Huh? Then what made you decide to specialize as a knuckler?

en	I chose it because...uh...it's...hard to catch...

en	So Diya has to be the one to catch it. Since it'll hurt everyone else.

en	What kind of reason is that?!

en	She's so stupid, she unknowingly ended up doing something smart!

en	Min, what do you mean by Diya having to catch it?

en	Diya's immune to it because she's special.

en	I'm pretty sure that's not how it works...

en	Diya has been standing by hopefully for 5 minutes now, looking like she wants to say something.

en	Diya, would you like to try catching in my place?

en	!!!!!!!!

en	Diya nods furiously.

en	Then that settles it! Let's switch!

en	Once Diya has strapped on all the gear, Min throws it again.

en	Diya caught it!

en	What!

en	She sounds like Fox falling off the stage in Super Smash Bros. Melee.

en	I knew it. Chryssa WAS making it up.

en	I'm never believing your lies again.

en	We weren't lying!

en	Diya just caught it again.

en	See? Diya is amazing!

en	Okay, that has to be a fluke! Calm down!

en	You're the one who needs to calm down!

en	They've managed to relieve another hitter together. Akarsha is up next.

en	On her way to the plate, she tries to do the splits, fails, and sheepishly crawls back to her feet.

en	That was my plan all along. I'm playing 4 dimensional chess.

en	God!! I can't stand her!

en	I want to push her off a cliff.

en	...But a shallow one, so she doesn't get hurt. Just to scare her.

en	Min winds up and throws another knuckler.

en	It veers wildly up to the sky. Without hesitation, Diya rises out of her crouch and gloves it.

en	WHAT!!!

en	That would've been a ball, but still!

en	Is it really that surprising? Diya's always been good at sports.

en	I'd be more shocked if she failed.

en	No, but you don't understand! This goes beyond being "good at sports"!

en	It's literally impossible!

en	Akarsha swings and misses for the third time. She's struck out.

en	Uhhhhh...............

en	That was performance art.

en	YOU CAN'T MAKE THESE EXCUSES EVERY TIME YOU MESS UP.

en	Once Diya and Min have relieved the entire roster, Liz claps her hands together to get their attention.

en	Alright, everyone! Let's end the meeting for today.

en	...What? Already?

en	Yeah? It's been, like, two hours.

en	Huh?!

en	They say time flies when you're having fun.

en	But I wasn't having fun!

en	I...I must've been so miserable that my mind wiped parts of my memory out.

en	Let's head back inside.

en	Diya!! I'll race you!!!

en	!!!!!!!!!

en	Diya and Min tear off at top speed!!!

en	After a beat, the others begin heading uphill as well, at a deliberately more reasonable pace.

en	I haven't seen Diya this happy since the time the vending machine malfunctioned and gave her two Kit Kat bars instead of one.

en	Noelle subtly tries to regulate her breathing rate so no one knows she's getting winded walking uphill.

en	Hey, Noelle.

en	Uh...thanks for putting up with us today.

en	Sorry we sorta forced you to play.

en	.....It wasn't the worst. I may find it in me to forgive you someday.

en	Yeah! You did good.

en	I did terrible.

en	Okay, you did terrible.

en	But you tried your best and that's what matters.

en	It's not like everyone can be Diya.

en	Don't worry so much and just have fun.

en	It's not a competition.

en	Right...

en	Chryssa pats Noelle on the head.

en	Don't touch me.

en	We really appreciate you...PITCHING in.

en	Yuck!!!

en	Noelle tries to escape!

en	She takes one step, slips on the muddy grass, and falls on her butt.

en	Noelle!

en	What're you doing, Noelle?

en	Trying to win America's Funniest Home Video?

en	Rrgh!!!

en	Chryssa, you pull her up! My hands are full.

en	No!!

en	Noelle scrambles to her feet and follows the others up the bank as quickly as she can. (Not very quick)

en	Hey! Wait!

en	Noelle!

en	They're being nice to me to trick me into joining the club!

en	I won't fall for it. Unlike some people, I have control over my emotions!

en	I'll just ignore her.

en	FUCK!!!

en	What was that...

en	Min is picking herself off the ground. There a Min-shaped dust imprint on the door now.

en	...Are you okay?

en	THE DOOR WAS LOCKED!!!

en	You probably should've checked before ramming straight into it.

en	Don't tell me what to do.

en	Looks like we'll have to wait for Chryssa and Liz to unlock it.

en	Min pulls a lighter out of her pocket and lights a cigarette.

en	Are you serious??!

en	That's illegal!

en	What the god damn hell is your damage?!

en	I can't do ANYTHING without you calling it illegal!

en	Because it IS illegal!

en	Even if it wasn't, what kind of idiot are you?

en	Didn't you learn about the health effects of tobacco in school?

en	It's just a bunch of statistics. Plenty of people smoke and don't die.

en	What, you think you're better than the laws of probability?

en	Yeah, I am!

en	Go ahead and remove yourself from the gene pool then. I don't care.

en	Hey Min, can I try smoking it?

en	What?!

en	Have you lost your mind?!

en	Come on, aren't you curious?

en	It's not like I'll get addicted just from one smoke.

en	Min holds out the cigarette for Akarsha.

en	Here.

en	Don't mind if I do!

en	NO!!!!

en	Noelle bats the cigarette out of Akarsha's hands!

en	It lands in some dry pine needles and bursts into flames!

en	....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	Min, Akarsha, & Noelle

en	AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

en	FRENCHMAN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!

en	SHUT UP!!!

en	Smokey the Bear is cryin right now!!

en	Only you can prevent forest fires!!

en	Well shit.

en	What do we do now?

en	PEE ON IT.

en	ARE YOU STUPID??????

en	STOP DROP AND ROLL!!

en	YOU DON'T DO THAT UNLESS YOU'RE ALREADY ON FIRE.

en	HEAD ON. APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

en	THIS ISN'T HELPING.

en	Silence falls over the group as they hear approaching footsteps on the other side of the wood divider.

en	It sounds like Chryssa and Liz are slowly getting closer to the locker room.

en	Hey! What're you guys screaming about?

en	Nothing's wrong, so DON'T COME IN HERE!

en	...Is everything ok?

en	EVERYTHING IS FINE...Where is the nearest fire extinguisher?

en	The footsteps pause for a brief stunned moment before resuming with dramatically increased speed and urgency.

en	CRAP. We need to fix this.

en	We should smother it. Someone use their jacket.

en	What if the jacket gets burnt?

en	This is my favorite jacket, man!

en	Same...

en	Okay, who likes her jacket the least?

en	Me.

en	Diya strips off her hoodie. Min watches with extreme interest, but looks incredibly disappointed when she sees Diya is wearing a shirt underneath.

en	Akarsha throws the jacket over the fire and stomps on it.

en	Okay. I think we extinguished it.

en	Teamwork.

en	Diya picks her jacket up and shakes it out.

en	Other than mud prints from Akarsha flip-flops, it looks no worse for wear.

en	I can't believe Frenchman snapped and tried to commit arson.

en	THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED.

en	Chryssa and Liz are here.

en	...What's that burnt smell?

en	.................

en	.................

en	.................

en	.................

en	Who did it?

en	It was.................

en	Jerry.

en	We're inventing a person now??

en	Who the hell is Jerry?

en	He's...a guy. Black hair.

en	Right, we all saw him. He did it.

en	Diya nods helpfully.

en	.................

en	.................

en	What a day...

en	I somehow ended up playing baseball, got patted by some random upperclassman, and was interrogated over arson...

en	They questioned us all separately and our accounts of Jerry fell apart.

en	In the end they made us do push-ups as punishment.

en	I'm exhausted.

en	I'm home.

en	What did you get on the math test?

en	An A.

en	A? Why not A+?

en	Noelle's mom is cutting a column out of the Chinese newspaper.

en	Look at this article.

en	A CEO sold his company for over a billion dollars and donated $200 million to UC Berkeley.

en	There's a building at Berkeley named after him now.

en	He's American born Chinese, just like you!

en	If he can do it, why can't you?

en	I'm putting this on your wall. To inspire you.

en	..................

en	She gets up and tapes it up in Noelle's bedroom next to the shelf gleaming with Noelle's math competition trophies.

en	{nw}

en	dude wtf did i miss in elementary school??

en	according to min

en	basically shes ur childhood archnemesis

en	AND diya's ex??

en	The archnemesis part is accurate, but she's not Diya's ex. That's ridiculous.

en	ok she didnt use those exact words but pretty much?

en	That's impossible. They're both girls.

en	so??

en	What do you mean, "so??"?

en	i cant believe u have an archnemesis?? i didnt even know ppl had those in real life

en	how is this going to work?? o_0

en	I don't understand what you're asking. Please reword the question.

en	what ru going to do about min?

en	Nothing. She doesn't pose me any threat.

en	Diya made her promise not to hurt me before, so she's strictly limited to insulting and threatening me.

en	All bark and no bite, so to speak.

en	I'm probably actually the safest person in the school, as the only one with this kind of immunity.

en	I'll just try my best to avoid her.

en	???????? what

en	shes friends with both diya and me now

en	u gotta figure out how to deal with her sooner or later

en	No, I don't. My strategy has worked flawlessly all the way through elementary school.

en	There's no reason to change it now.

en	ur strategy??

en	the "maybe if i ignore the problem it'll go away" strategy??

en	I don't have a choice! You don't understand how stupid she really is.

en	She's not just pretending to be dumb like you.

en	She's dumb for {i}real.{/i}

en	She once carved her name into a desk and couldn't figure out how they caught her.

en	o_o

en	WAI T HOLD UP

en	WAIT I GOT IT

en	JOIN THE BASEBALL CLUB

en	Why??

en	How does that solve anything?!

en	IT DOESNT

en	BUT TRUST ME IT ALWAYS WORKS IN THE MOVIES

en	WHenever 2 characters hate each other

en	if they end up in a situation where theyre forced to work together

en	they come out of it as bffs

en	More realistically, they'd go from enemies to worse enemies.

en	no im calling it right now

en	we're going to miraculously set our differences aside and work as a team

en	also, we win by one

en	come on frenchman

en	ONE OF US

en	ONE OF US

en	No!

en	YES

en	LEAVE THE EIFFEL TOWER BEHIND

en	STOP TELLING EVERYONE I LIVE INSIDE THE EIFFEL TOWER.

en	MAKE UR DREAMS INTO REALITY

en	THIS ISN'T MY DREAM!

en	then what is????

en	doesnt it bother u that everyone else our age gets to have fun??

en	like bruh wheres my complicated relationship drama??

en	wheres my reckless teen adventures??

en	dont u feel like ur missing out sitting at home alone all the time??

en	No, because it'll pay off in the future.

en	but ur youth is irreplaceable

en	Noelle was invited to the baseball club group chat.

en	....................

en	I'll just take a quick look, and then quit. That's it.

en	Join the chat

en	{nw}

en	Noelle has entered the chatroom.

en	!!!!!!!!!!!

en	:D

en	Hello.

en	wtf

en	why are yu o here

en	whatre you gonna do, use a peraberla to calculate how to throw the ball?

en	*parabola

en	shut the fuck out

en	you long green bean

en	Green bean?!

en	SHUT THE FUCK OUT

en	you stupid overacheiving Asian fob loser stereotype

en	*overachieving

en	Big words for someone who'll be attending community college and working at McDonald's.

en	guys cmon

en	dont b like this

en	become bffs!!

en	look how much u have in common!!!

en	asian

en	full of anger

en	and u both like diya

en	...

en	lets all sing the barney song

en	i love u....

en	u love me...

en	we;re a happy family...

en	Min has changed the group chat name to "fuck you noelle".

en	I DON'T LIKE THIS GROUP CHAT NAME.

en	suck it

en	Noelle has changed the group chat name to "Baseball Club".

en	Min has changed the group chat name to "fuck you noelle".

en	Stop this.

en	Noelle has changed the group chat name to "Baseball Club".

en	Min has changed the group chat name to "fuck you noelle".

en	guyss

en	guyssss this is so immature :((((((((((((

en	how bout a compromise??? ? ?

en	?

en	What sort of compromise?

en	YAOI SEME has changed the group chat name to "Baseball Club".

en	Thank you.

en	wtf

en	hows this a compromis i didnt get anything

en	YAOI SEME has changed her name to NOELLEFUCKER69.

en	NICE

en	o/

en	\o

en	I TAKE IT BACK. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.

en	CHANGE IT BACK.

en	Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth.

en	I HATE YOU.

en	*starts crying*

en	i;m crying,,,,,u made me CRY

en	IF YOU DON'T CHANGE IT, I'M NOT GOING TO BE YOUR PARTNER FOR SCHOOL PROJECTS ANYMORE.

en	;_;

en	NOELLEFUCKER69 has changed her name to YAOI SEME.

en	darn

en	it was good while it lasted

en	i wonder if theres anything else left to figure out about baseball

en	that no one else has yet

en	Like other strategies that'd make us statisticaly more likely to win?

en	or weird other loopholes

en	can we release multiple balls into the air to confuse our opponents

en	I think that would just confuse us too

en	what about advantages for batting?

en	what if instead of bats we brought those yaoi paddles

en	wtfs a yaoi paddle

en	google it

en	In any case, they have rules about what kinds of bats you can use

en	dude

en	this just gave me a great idea

en	im albret einstong

en	YAOI SEME changed her name to albret einstong.

en	...

en	Was

en	Was that your idea

en	no that's not it

en	it was just my reward for being a genius

en	what if u break a bat in half and dual wield one half in each hand

en	I don't think there would be any advantage doing this.

en	we gotta try it to know for sure

en	for science

en	There's rules about damaged bats

en	If they break they're removed from play without penalty

en	nO

en	M,,m,,,Y PLAN IS CRUMBLING TO PIECES

en	your plan was in pieces from the start

en	RUDE

en	my backup plan is

en	we could secretly replace diyas bones w/ synthetic ones

en	I don't like this plan

en	what about NANOMACHINES

en	I don't want nanomachines

en	Nanomachines are not even at a level where we can use them yet.

en	It's still a theoretical field.

en	what??

en	i thought they made nanocars already

en	with wheels and everything

en	Just a moment. I'm Googling it.

en	I don't want nanocars

en	The Wikipedia page says the nanocars don't even have motors.

en	They just have four wheels attached to an empty frame.

en	They don't do anything.

en	{image=nanocar.png}

en	then why the hell did they even create them

en	I don't know.

en	They would just be floating around pointlessly inside Diya.

en	For our purposes, gene therapy would be more practical.

en	The technology is already used to treat muscle-wasting disorders.

en	We could use it to change Diya's gene expression, and increase production of proteins to make her stronger.

en	It would be totally undetectable by drug tests.

en	omfg

en	I don't want gene therapy

en	itd be like doping but w ur genes

en	gene doping

en	has anyone done this yet?

en	I wouldn't know.

en	im looking it up and dude

en	no ones ever done it

en	there arent any regulations on it yet

en	i bet all the baseball ppl dont even know what it is

en	u could be a gene doping pioneer

en	u havent even been here 10 minutes yet and ur already destroying baseball

en	I don't think this is the way we're supposed to do it

en	GUYS

en	OMG

en	I LOOKED UP "CYBORG" ON WIKIPEDIA AND I F O U ND

en	THERES A MA N

en	HE

en	{image=cyborg.jpg}

en	wtf

en	"Since 2004, British artist Neil Harbisson, has a cyborg antenna implanted in his head that allows him to extend his perception of colors beyond the human visual spectrum through vibrations in his skull."

en	????????

en	LMAO

en	"His antenna was included within his 2004 passport photograph which has been claimed to confirm his cyborg status."

en	This is great.

en	The "claimed to confirm his cyborg status" bit makes him sound so desperate.

en	right????

en	Plus the design is ridiculously unfashionable.

en	You normally expect cyborgs to look cool and futuristic...

en	BUT INSTEAD

en	{image=cyborg.jpg}

en	ffFDSKJJKSDFDdSSDS

en	It's even better when you remember this is from 2004.

en	omfg

en	the black and white makes you think

en	this is from the great depresion or smth

en	but its actually just some weirdo with a rly lame haircut

en	He looks like he's planning to dangle a carrot on a string from the front

en	Like a donkey

en	sssSHUT UP IM LOSING IT

en	It's only been four years. Not only is he still alive, but his current appearance is probably relatively unchanged.

en	This man is still out there, existing in the same world we do, looking like this as we speak.

en	Good

en	Whenever you're feeling down about your looks

en	Remember

en	{image=cyborg.jpg}

en	STTOPP

en	Why are you smiling?!

en	Are you talking to a boy?

en	No boyfriend until college!

en	Noelle almost falls out of her chair in shock.

en	I didn't hear her come in!

en	Noelle switches to a more academic tab she kept open, but not before her mom sees.

en	You always change the screen when I come in!

en	What are you hiding?

en	Her mom grabs the mouse and clicks on the incriminating tab.

en	You're wasting time! Do your homework!

en	Her mother scans the names on the screen and jabs a finger at "[akarshaChatName3!t]."

en	Who's that?

en	That's Akarsha. She's the other smart girl in my grade.

en	The one who almost beat you on the midterm?

en	Yes.

en	Don't forget that everyone is your competition. She's tricking you into thinking she doesn't study, when really, she does.

en	Every minute you spend doing useless things is a minute she's beating you.

en	She's not tricking me. We're friends.

en	"Friends"? Don't be naive.

en	When she gets into MIT and you don't, you think she'll care?

en	If you were really in trouble, would she do anything to help you? Of course not.

en	When it comes down to it, nobody will look out for you.

en	The only people you can really trust are your family.

en	You don't know anything!

en	Don't talk about my friends like they mean nothing.

en	Do you know {i}anything{/i} about me? What's my worst fear? What's my favorite documentary series?

en	You would know these things if you had any care for me beyond how good I make you look to our relatives.

en	You ungrateful child!

en	The whole reason we came to America is so you could live a better life. We made so many sacrifices for you!

en	How dare you say we don't care about you?!

en	You've been spoiled rotten! You have an attitude problem!

en	Kids these days!

en	When your dad comes home, we're going to have a long talk about this.

en	Noelle's mom closes the tab.

en	She hovers over her shoulder for a few more minutes to verify that Noelle is doing work.

en	Don't you have anything better to do??

en	Oh, that's right, you don't.

en	Because you have no friends or hobbies and live vicariously through me.

en	Still looking sour, her mom finally leaves.

en	.................

en	Upset, Noelle curls up in bed angrily hugging her giant snake plushie.

en	Open the chatroom again

en	{nw}

en	Noelle has entered the chatroom.

en	!!!

en	:D :D!

en	yuck whyd yuo come back

en	are you still deciding whether to join or something

en	No, I have decided.

en	I'm in.

en	Diya's house

en	Ayyyy! I'm here.

en	Hello? Diya? Homie??

en	Diya is crawling on her hands and knees in the bushes.

en	What are you doing?

en	Caught him.

en	Diya emerges from the brush with a caterpillar in her hands.

en	It's fat and striped.

en	Ew!!!

en	Diya turns to face her.

en	Because she's deaf in one ear, when she stands up "straight" she actually faces slightly to the right.

en	Don't be rude.

en	We should give him a name.

en	Yaoi Kurashiki

en	Yoite

en	Miles "Tails" Edgeworth

en	[caterpillar!t].

en	...What kind of name is that?

en	It's a joke about a character from the Zero Escape games.

en	Someone asked the director if he could be paired with a girl character, and he responded, "Does Aoi even like girls? I have to start considering from that."

en	Like, that wasn't even the question! He could've just answered no.

en	It's awesome that he went out of his way to say you can't assume that character's straight.

en	[caterpillar!t].

en	...What kind of name is that?

en	It's a character from the manga Nabari no Ou.

en	It's hella gay, you should read it.

en	...You say that like I'd be interested just because it's gay.

en	You're not? Good gay stuff is hard to come by.

en	[caterpillar!t].

en	...What kind of name is that?

en	It's a character from the Ace Attorney games.

en	It's hella gay, you should play it.

en	...You say that like I'd be interested just because it's gay.

en	You're not? Good gay stuff is hard to come by.

en	...............

en	Diya scrutinizes [caterpillar!t] as he inches across her palm.

en	You're so invested in these kinds of things. Video games and stuff.

en	They're a form of escapism. I need obsessions to distract me from the crushing emptiness and hopelessness of life.

en	...............

en	...Just kidding. Haha!

en	Diya scoops the caterpillar into her other hand.

en	Did you hear the news? Obama won.

en	Yes we can.

en	Yeah, but they outlawed gay marriage.

en	They did?

en	Prop 8 passed.

en	I thought we were better than that.

en	You shoudn't be surprised. There were a lot of yellow wearing guys.

en	Don't even have to ask my parents what they voted. I know.

en	But the thing is, it used to be legal. We USED to be better.

en	It's not just that the world sucks. The world sucks, and it's getting worse.

en	...Obama, though.

en	Yes we can.

en	Yes we can...

en	[caterpillar!t] is crawling up Diya's arm now.

en	Gross.

en	That's so shallow. He has a good heart.

en	Don't yellow and black stripes normally mean it's poisonous?

en	Caterpillars are only poisonous if you eat them.

en	Not dangerous if you're nice.

en	Diya carefully returns the caterpillar to a tree branch.

en	Ready to go?

en	Diya nods.

en	Akarsha.

en	Ya?

en	...............

en	...Never mind.

en	What the...

en	We went ahead and got changed. It feels like we're a real team now, wearing the same uniform!

en	We've still got some time to kill before the meeting starts.

en	Talk to Diya

en	Diya is on the bench, resting her head on Min's shoulder.

en	She's showing Min a picture of a seagull her cellphone. One side of the photo is blurry brown from Diya's thumb partially obscuring the camera lens.

en	Look how close I got to this seagull.

en	That's pretty close.

en	Life is so hard...

en	Any words of wisdom, Diya?

en	.............

en	Snowflakes are actually really, really small.

en	Not like you would think from Christmas decorations.

en	Uh...How big did you think they were??

en	Like the size of a plate.

en	Wow...you must've been crazy disappointed when you discovered the truth.

en	Any other advice?

en	.............

en	You can make nutella sandwiches and eat them.

en	If you do this three times a day you'll have three meals for like $1.50.

en	Thanks...

en	I come seeking more knowledge, wise one.

en	.............

en	Putting whipped cream on rice is a bad idea.

en	...Are you speaking from personal experience?

en	Tried it once.

en	Why?!

en	Thought it'd taste like sticky rice.

en	But it was bad.

en	Amazing...

en	Min has a textbook in her lap. She's flipping it to a chapter review page.

en	Are you doing your homework?!

en	That's weirdly studious of you.

en	I told my parents I joined a tutoring club.

en	Oh. Lol.

en	Funny, so did I.

en	Wha? What do you need tutoring for?

en	I told them I was the tutor.

en	That's perfect! You can tutor Min, then.

en	Match made in heaven.

en	MATCH MADE IN HELL. I don't want her help.

en	As she says it, though, she's staring down at the page with a desolate expression.

en	Math should just...die.

en	Why? It's a discipline full of beautiful and complex patterns.

en	There's absolutely nothing inherently bad or oppressive about it, yet people treat it like it's evil and malicious.

en	A lot of pure math lacks any kind of practical application, and merely exists for the sake of stimulating people's minds and pushing the limits of the medium as far as is possible.

en	It's much like a form of art.

en	Can't relate. Shut the fuck up.

en	Dude, let me see it. I'll help you.

en	Problem 1: Bill can paint a house in five hours, and Mary can paint a house in three hours. How long will it take for them to paint a house together?

en	8 hours. 5 + 3 is 8.

en	..............

en	..............

en	..............

en	...Are you gonna be okay at this school?

en	Would you kiss a girl for 1 million dollars?

en	I guess? I don't have that kind of money, though.

en	Wha....?

en	No, I'm saying you get PAID.

en	Huh??

en	Never mind.

en	Noelle is solving a Professor's Cube. Unlike a regular Rubik's Cube, it's 5x5x5 instead of 3x3x3.

en	Diya's face lights up when she spots it.

en	I solved one side for you already.

en	Took me 2 hours.

en	Diya proudly points to the cube.

en	Indeed, one face is solid red.

en	...I see.

en	I'm pretty sure that doesn't help at all.

en	Sure enough, Noelle completely obliterates Diya's work in order to solve the cube correctly.

en	Wow. You make it look easy.

en	Did I help?

en	...Of course. I appreciate it.

en	Noelle peels a banana and takes a bite out of it.

en	What the hell are you doing? Aren't you taking the banana sticker off?

en	Why would I? It comes off with the peel anyway.

en	Taking the sticker off first would be completely pointless.

en	So you just eat it with the sticker still on??

en	Yes? It doesn't have any effect on the inside of the banana.

en	The fuck's wrong with you?

en	You...you're not human.

en	HOW AM I NOT HUMAN?!

en	The locker room door creaks open.

en	When Noelle sees Chryssa and Liz come through, she lifts her hand to wave but aborts halfway through the motion.

en	Scowling, she jerks the offending appendage back down, like her hand had gone and betrayed the rest of her body.

en	.........

en	What?

en	Nothing.

en	Hey guys! We have a few announcements to make.

en	First of all, Min-seo...

en	You need to resubmit your parental permission form for the club.

en	And this time, please have a real parental guardian sign it.

en	I don't know what you're talking about.

en	She forged it? How can you tell?

en	The signature...was just the word "Mom" in cursive.

en	...Fuck.

en	Min is running away!

en	Chryssa gets up and chases after her!

en	There's nowhere to run!

en	You dumb kid!

en	...It sounds an awful lot like Min ran into the door again.

en	Everyone else's forms look fine, though!

en	So good job, guys. If you forged it too, I couldn't tell.

en	Phew.

en	Chryssa has returned, dragging a defeated Min behind her.

en	Next up...

en	We're playing against an actual team today!

en	What?! Who?

en	We invited the team at Niles over.

en	They should be here soon.

en	Are we going to be okay? Our team is made up of 4 baseball players, 2 nerds, and 3 weebs.

en	Wait, did you count me as a nerd? I'm a hybrid, I'm a weeb too.

en	Guys, we'll be fine.

en	...Maybe.

en	The "maybe" was too honest.

en	Don't worry, it's seriously super casual.

en	They aren't bringing their coaches or anything. It's just nine of them driving over in their cars.

en	Just relax and have fun.

en	This isn't really important, but they have a cool mascot. It's Killer Whales.

en	What's our team name? Do we get a mascot too?

en	Read your damn shirt. It's Monarchs.

en	That's so bland...

en	But we're not really an official school team. So we can make a name up ourselves.

en	Ooooh!!

en	Any suggestions?

en	Bagels.

en	The way you think is so damn cute.

en	Chicken Nuggets.

en	Bagels is so simple, I kind of like it.

en	Yeah, I'd honestly be okay if it ended up like that.

en	Any other suggestions?

en	We should be something stronger than killer whales to assert our dominance.

en	Monarchs are already more powerful than killer whales, though.

en	Humans keep killer whales in captivity.

en	But if it was, like, 1 v 1, a killer whale would tear a guy to shreds.

en	We should be something bigger and more dangerous.

en	Like what? Global warming?

en	Oh my god?? That's actually a hilarious name.

en	No matter who we're up against, they'll pretty much just automatically lose.

en	Like, Tigers vs. Global Warming. Who do you think's gonna win?

en	Our motto can be "Underestimate us and the world will be destroyed."

en	That's not a very positive motto...

en	I'm still kind of impressed Noelle came up that.

en	What kind of name did you think I'd come up with?

en	I dunno...

en	Something nerdy that you thought sounded cool, but was actually really cringy.

en	Like "The Algorithms".

en	Yuck!

en	I feel like throwing up...

en	SHUT UP!! I NEVER SUGGESTED THAT!

en	And I don't like "Global Warming." It's not threatening enough.

en	How is it not threatening enough? It's irreversible and will devastate generations to come.

en	But it's not a...thing! Like a real thing!

en	Are you saying you don't believe in global warming?!

en	She means it's like an abstract concept.

en	Yeah!

en	We should be something that sounds like it could rip our enemies from limb to limb.

en	Like...Death Machine.

en	Are we forming a heavy metal band?

en	Death Bagels.

en	That's...better? I think?

en	Death Bagels is dramatically cuter, but Min is too pleased that Diya combined their suggestions to complain.

en	Wait! I just thought of a name too.

en	"Semes".

en	NO.

en	Wh...what is that?

en	In yaoi, the seme is the dominant guy in the couple.

en	What is "yaoi"?

en	You don't want to know!

en	Usually only teen girls who like anime know what it means, so maybe that's good?

en	Most normal people will be totally oblivious.

en	Yeah. The only reason Noelle knows is because I corrupted her.

en	Let me reiterate that this is a bad idea.

en	We're going to have to make up a fake definition when our parents ask what it means.

en	Worth.

en	How is that worth it?

en	Okay, we'll settle this the fair way, which is a vote.

en	Everyone, write your vote down on a piece of paper.

en	Akarsha votes for...

en	Bagels

en	Chicken Nuggets

en	Global Warming

en	Death Bagels

en	Semes

en	Chryssa tallies up all the votes.

en	The winner is...

en	[teamName!t]!

en	Yeah!!

en	Name status: Sick!!!

en	!!!!!

en	I don't get it. What's so great about bagels?

en	Diya is giving her a very judgmental look.

en	It's bread in a circle.

en	That...didn't explain anything.

en	Diya would probably eat an entire bakery if she had the chance.

en	!!!!!

en	I don't get it. What's so great about chicken nuggets?

en	Diya is giving her a very judgmental look.

en	They're on sale at McDonald's. You can buy 20 for $4.99.

en	What are you, a walking McDonald's advertisement?

en	Nice.

en	I guess the one downside is, we only sound threatening to people who believe in it.

en	That's fine.

en	Even if they're too ignorant to accept scientific fact, that doesn't erase the reality that we'll annihilate them.

en	Big words for someone who couldn't catch a ball if it had Elmer's glue on it.

en	You shut up.

en	Alright guys, be nice...

en	No!

en	Yes!

en	Have you guys no shame at all?!

en	Come on. Don't pretend you didn't vote for it.

en	I didn't vote for it!

en	The [teamName!t] head out to the field.

en	The other team is on their way. They're parking right now.

en	Let's stretch and warm up first.

en	They arrange in a huge circle and begin stretching like usual.

en	Focus on your breathing and calm your mind.

en	Suddenly, Noelle whirls around, looking frantic.

en	Noelle, get with the program. Be a Zen master.

en	Where's Diya?

en	Huh? She didn't follow us out?

en	Indeed, Diya is nowhere in sight...

en	Holy shit. She's so quiet I didn't even notice she was gone.

en	Min-seo is missing, too.

en	OH MY GOD...

en	THEY'RE DOING IT...

en	THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

en	Min told me she was going to the bathroom on the way out.

en	But that was, like, 15 minutes ago. She should be back by now.

en	Maybe they got left behind in the locker room.

en	AUGGGHHH!!!

en	What?!

en	Nothing. I was just randomly screaming.

en	Looks like Diya and Min aren't here.

en	And the girls' bathroom is empty.

en	We should split up and search for them.

en	No. I've watched enough TV to know where this is going.

en	We'll get picked off one by one.

en	What is this, a horror movie?

en	The Killer Whales will be here any minute. We don't have time to comb the school slowly together.

en	Besides, we already lost the main problem children. The rest of them aren't the type to just randomly wander off like this.

en	That's true.

en	Fine. Disperse, [teamName!t]!

en	Meet back at the field in 10 minutes, whether you find them or not.

en	Roger that!

en	Semes...

en	I still don't want to be called that!

en	Don't be a sore loser.

en	Noelle is holding the door open for people as they exit the locker room.

en	She smiles as Akarsha comes closer.

en	I can't stand here all day, you're cut off.

en	Noelle lets the door close in Akarsha's face.

en	Oh my god????

en	Noelle is waiting for Akarsha outside.

en	Meanie.

en	Where should we look?

en	I don't know.

en	If it was just Diya, I'd have guesses, but it's likely Min-seo forced her to go somewhere.

en	...You realize Diya is like, a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier than Min, right?

en	Min can't "force" Diya to do anything. If she took her somewhere, it's because Diya let her.

en	Fine, forced was too strong of a word. Coerced.

en	Dude, chill. You're so neurotic when it comes to Diya.

en	Can't you just trust her judgment?

en	In kindergarten, I asked Diya what she wanted to be when she grew up and she answered "A police dog."

en	Well, it WAS kindergarten.

en	Even in kindergarten I understood that becoming another species wasn't an option...

en	Search the locker room

en	Go to the locker room

en	Search the bathroom

en	Search the courtyard

en	Go to the school library

en	Akarsha looks inside the girls' bathroom. Just as Chryssa said, it's empty.

en	Darn. I thought Min might be having a diarrhea catastrophe or something.

en	Are you trying to make me throw up?

en	Ya. It's my hobby.

en	You know, sometimes I wonder why I bother with you.

en	Because you love me.

en	No, I don't.

en	Yes, you do.

en	No, I don't.

en	Yes, you do.

en	This is stupid. Knock it off.

en	You didn't deny it that time! CONFIRMED.

en	NOT CONFIRMED. That's not how it works.

en	Search the field

en	Search outside the locker room

en	Meet up at the field

en	Go outside the locker room

en	Search the track

en	Return to locker room

en	Return to the baseball diamond

en	Hey, that's...!

en	Diya is sprinting around the track at top speed!

en	Yo! Diya!

en	She can't hear us from here.

en	Once Diya rounds a bend, Noelle and Akarsha flag her down.

en	She's completely drenched in sweat.

en	What are you doing?

en	I got nervous, so I ran 3 miles.

en	Feel better now.

en	Uh...Okay?

en	Why didn't you say anything?

en	Diya looks at her as though she's crazy.

en	Stressful. I don't like to bother people.

en	Dude, you know that not communicating just makes most situations even MORE stressful, right??

en	Where's Min?

en	...?

en	What do you mean?

en	Huh. I guess you went missing separately.

en	Never mind. Just go back to the diamond then.

en	You should go back to the diamond.

en	That way Chryssa and Liz will know where you are.

en	Diya nods and trots off.

en	We found both of them.

en	Yes.

en	Once again, I'm a hero!

en	YOU'RE NOT A HERO.

en	Let's head back to the field, too.

en	Look at poster

en	Go to classrooms

en	Look at bush

en	Go to locker room entrance

en	Bad memories looking at this now.

en	I was an idiot.

en	.............

en	.............

en	.............

en	.............

en	If you're waiting for me to disagree, we're going to be here all day.

en	The poster says "Reduce stress!"

en	HahaHAH!!

en	How exactly do they expect us to do that?

en	Not go to school?{w=0.26} Get rid of our parents?

en	OH MY GOD!!!! I DONT BELIEVE IT!!!!

en	What?

en	THIS IS...THIS IS A BUSH!!!!!!!!

en	I never would've guessed!

en	FASCINATING!!!

en	Let's keep staring at this instead of doing something more useful!

en	Noelle looks incredibly amused.

en	Why the library?

en	You think Min-seo is going to read a book?

en	Doesn't hurt to be thorough, right?

en	Akarsha squeaks the door open.

en	The book scanner alarms go off!

en	Everyone in the library turns to look at her!

en	OH SHIT???!!!!

en	*weird shriek*

en	Akarsha panics and bolts back out the door!

en	Hoo!!! Good thing no one chased after us.

en	What even just happened?

en	I don't know. How odd.

en	I don't even have any books in my backpack. Why did it go off???

en	Maybe it was a fluke. You should try again.

en	No thanks...

en	Look at your reflection

en	Return to the courtyard

en	Search the auditorium

en	Akarsha admires her own reflection in the window.

en	I hate myself, but in a fun way where I'll still check myself out.

en	Dat me.

en	It's the 21st century. Why is acne still a thing?

en	Technology has literally advanced to the point where we can shoot LASER BEAMS at your eyes to improve your vision.

en	You'd think we would've found a cure for bad skin by now.

en	Like, dude, I don't even want to be pretty. I just want to look average, and not gross all the time.

en	It's hard being a weird goblin that no one has a crush on.

en	I wonder what it's like to be attractive.

en	Like, Diya could be wearing a garbage bag and still look better than I ever will in my entire life.

en	I asked her what she washes her face with, and she said she just splashes water on it. Can you imagine being blessed with genes that good?

en	It's okay, though. I'm over it.

en	Being ugly builds character.

en	It's dead quiet in here.

en	If I farted, you could hear it from a mile away.

en	Please don't.

en	Yell something

en	YAMEROooOoooo!!!

en	Akarsha's shrieking echoes in the empty hall for several seconds.

en	...Wow, the acoustics in here are great.

en	I realize there's nothing I can do to prevent you from doing this, so I will wait outside and pretend not to know you.

en	Noelle leaves the auditorium.

en	SASsssssUKEeeeEEEE!!!!!!

en	*beatboxing* Stressed out!

en	*beatboxing* Stop asking about college!

en	*beatboxing* Stop asking about majors and my career! Stop asking about my future!

en	I DON'T KNOW OKAY!! I DON'T KNOW!!!!

en	I'M NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING!

en	I'M A FRAUD! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!! I'M NOT THAT SMART!

en	I'M SO AFRAID OF FAILURE THAT EVERYTHING I DO HAS TO BE FUNNY! BECAUSE IF I'M NOT SERIOUS, IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS REALLY TRYING!

en	I'M SO UNHAPPY!! GOOD THING I DISGUISE IT AS A SERIES OF JOKES SO NO ONE NOTICES THE GAPING CHASM OF DARKNESS I LIVE ON THE EDGE OF!!!

en	I WANNA DIE!!! KILL ME!!!!!

en	What're you doing?

en	WaauUGHH!!!!

en	Why're you here?! Weren't you supposed to be going to the bathroom?

en	I was. There's a family bathroom over there.

en	She points to a door at the far end of the auditorium.

en	Okay...?

en	Anyone can use it. It doesn't matter whether you're a boy or girl.

en	...Right.

en	Right.

en	.............

en	Min looks relieved that Akarsha let the topic drop.

en	So where's Diya?

en	How should I know? Isn't she with the rest of you guys?

en	Huh. Never mind, then.

en	Were you serious about that dying stuff?

en	Naw man, I'd never actively try to off myself.

en	It's more like...if I was crossing the street and a car came barreling toward me, I'm not sure I'd get out of the way.

en	Then I'll hit the car out of the way.

en	You'll...hit it? What?

en	With my own car. I'll ram into the one driving toward you.

en	Your car'll get crushed.

en	No, it won't. My car will be stronger.

en	You think I'm gonna own some weak shrimpy-ass car?

en	That other car is as good as dead.

en	kKKhfffft??!!

en	She's serious! She'd deadass try to save me by crashing into another car!

en	Min looks relieved that she made Akarsha laugh.

en	She's holding an emo Linkin Park skateboard under one arm.

en	Wanna learn how to skateboard?

en	Those aren't allowed at school, you know.

en	Rules are made to be broken.

en	Are you a square or a triangle?

en	I'm pretty sure that's not how the saying goes.

en	Min places her skateboard on the floor.

en	Here, I'll show you something cool.

en	Hold on to me.

en	I got you.

en	But don't make this weird.

en	Don't make this weird.

en	*weird shriek* AAAAUGH!!! YAA!

en	WHAT DID I JUST SAY YOU USELESS HOE?!

en	Min manages to stand on the skateboard with Akarsha on her shoulders!

en	WE'RE SOARIN...FLYIN...

en	Something something...breaking free...

en	I haven't watched High School Musical. I don't know the rest of the lyrics.

en	It's okay. Let's just keep repeating that one line.

en	WE'RE SOARIN...FLYIN...

en	WE'RE SOARIN...FLYIN...

en	Feel better now?

en	Yeah, I'm fine.

en	I needed that.

en	Akarsha's eyes are filling up with tears.

en	Time to make a joke.

en	You know what the economy needs?

en	$3 bills. They should put my face on it.

en	Min ribs her in the arm.

en	You suck.

en	Mean!

en	Akarsha ribs her back.

en	Hey!

en	Oops, that was a bit harder than I expected.

en	Min hits her back, harder!

en	Akarsha retaliates by spitting on her own knuckles!

en	My punches inflict poison damage now!!!

en	It turned into a fist fight!

en	Hearing signs of violence, Noelle has run back into the auditorium.

en	Chryssa! Look what they're doing!!!

en	Min, come back to the field with me.

en	Chryssa drags Min off, leaving Akarsha and Noelle behind.

en	We found both of them.

en	Yes.

en	Once again, I'm a hero!

en	YOU'RE NOT A HERO.

en	Let's head back to the field, too.

en	Leave the auditorium

en	Look at fire alarm

en	Check out family bathroom

en	Akarsha goes into the family bathroom.

en	Unlike the regular ones, there's only one stall.

en	It's so clean?!

en	Where's the pee on the toilet seat?? Where's the poo and blood stains like in the girls bathroom?

en	It must be this pristine because no one else knows about it.

en	This is heaven! No wonder Min uses it.

en	Finally! Everyone's here.

en	And no one fell victim to a serial killer...what a relief.

en	[teamName!t], assemble!

en	The other team is warming up on the field.

en	Killer Whale player

en	Two of them break from the rest of the group and rush up to Diya.

en	Diya rears back in fear and hides behind Noelle for a moment before she appears to recognize them.

en	Diya! It's us!

en	......!!!

en	Diya high fives him with a brutally excessive amount of force. Their palms meet with a deafening clap.

en	The victim swears and flaps the affected hand, as if to shake off the stinging.

en	He's trying valiantly to smile, but there are tears of pain in his eyes.

en	We made our team accept the match when we heard you were here.

en	You look different from Min now. Can't believe this.

en	Wouldn't it be more unbelievable if we still looked the same after all this time?

en	Diya raises her hand for another high five.

en	No! No no I don't want it!

en	Diya, you know them?

en	Hayden

en	We know Hayden from elementary school, and Jun's my twin.

en	Jun jolts at the sound of Min's voice, visibly shocked.

en	Min?!

en	What're you doing here??

en	Same thing as you. Baseball.

en	Do Mom and Dad know you're doing this?

en	Do you even need to ask?

en	Jun sighs. He seems really used to this.

en	Now that everyone's here, let's get started.

en	Since we're the home team, we're defending first.

en	Liz hands Min what looks like a tiny white pouch filled with powder.

en	A cloud of dust puffs out when she grabs it.

en	We have rosin! To help improve your grip.

en	Wow! Real rosin!!

en	Min is so excited that she accidentally inhales a bunch of the powder.

en	*cough!!!*{w=0.26} *hack!!!*{w=0.26} *wheeze!!!*

en	...........

en	...........

en	...........

en	Hayden is the lead-off hitter.

en	Min spits on the ground for dramatic effect.

en	Ew!

en	Min, that's gross. Don't do that again.

en	Diya crouches into position.

en	As an afterthought, she points her index finger down at the ground. Min smugly nods back and straightens up on the mound.

en	Since when do you two have signs?

en	Oh, they don't mean anything.

en	We're just doing it because it looks cool.

en	Min winds up and throws.

en	The ball comes in chest high, perfectly spinless. If someone had written a message on it, you could read it.

en	Then it does what looks like a double dip and and drops into Diya's glove.

en	Hayden swings at it, but he's way off.

en	Gyaaah!

en	Was the scream really necessary?

en	Hayden manages to skim the next pitch. It bounces up about an inch above the bat and plops down in front of the plate.

en	Diya pounces on it and throws him out.

en	Nooooo...What was that?

en	A knuckleball. It's like a trick pitch.

en	I don't trust it.

en	Cursed.

en	It's not cursed. It's like that because of physics.

en	...Cursed.

en	Chryssa yells out to [teamName!t] triumphantly.

en	Chryssa yells out to the [teamName!t] triumphantly.

en	See! I told you I wasn't making it up!

en	Sakura and Yuki exchange a look, then turn to Chryssa with skeptical faces.

en	Come on!

en	The next batter swings helplessly at three knucklers and sits down.

en	Jun-seo is up against his twin now.

en	Min winds up and lets another knuckler go.

en	He hit a line drive straight at Akarsha.

en	It's coming toward me!

en	I can't reach it with my hand!

en	Kick it

en	Akarsha kicked the ball!

en	She's now hopping around on one foot in pain.

en	Ow!! Ow!!

en	You fucking dumbass!! Why didn't you just catch it?!

en	Don't mind!

en	What?

en	Don't mind. They say that in sport anime when someone screws up.

en	I'm literally going to throw up. You even said it with a fake Japanese accent.

en	Wait, I think it's a good idea, though. It helps boost morale.

en	We're already called Semes! How much more are we gonna embarrass ourselves?!

en	Don't be rude. We should support our teammates' interests.

en	At what cost?!

en	The ball bounces back toward home plate. Diya scoops up the ball and hurls it to first.

en	Out!

en	What the! That actually worked!

en	Yes!! I'm a certified genius!

en	My Nobel Prize...

en	You're not getting a Nobel Prize for kicking a ball instead of catching it the right way.

en	Aw, we don't have real dugouts? There's just a little bench for each side.

en	What were you expecting? The school doesn't have an official baseball team, so we're lucky to even have this.

en	I never got why dugouts need to be half underground like that.

en	Like, it's not a freakin' bomb shelter. Stop being so dramatic.

en	The team takes a seat on the bench except Diya, who's still taking off the catcher's gear.

en	The [teamName!t] take their seats on the bench except Diya, who's still taking off the catcher's gear.

en	There's not quite enough space for everyone.

en	Left standing, Diya hovers uncertainly beside them.

en	There's not enough room.

en	Then you can sit in my lap.

en	................

en	Shouldn't it be the other way around?

en	Why the hell would it be the other way around?

en	You're the smaller one??

en	OW??!

en	Min kicked Akarsha really hard under the bench!

en	Diya and Noelle both startle at Akarsha's yelp. Neither of them saw the kick.

en	......?

en	What's wrong with you?

en	.............

en	She's glaring at me with a murderous look in her eyes...

en	I, uh...farted.

en	I was trying to cover up the sound.

en	What...?

en	Crap. I don't think she buys it.

en	That's inconsistent with your past behavior.

en	Last week you told me the disgusting and unwanted fact that you had three consecutive farts that formed a D major triad.

en	Why go through such lengths to mask a single fart now?

en	You're hiding something.

en	I should scream now, as a distraction.

en	*bloodcurdling scream*

en	SHUT UP!!! STOP SCREAMING!!!

en	You're screaming too.

en	The bench creaks a bit as Diya nervously lowers herself in Min's lap.

en	Min immediately wraps an arm around Diya's waist.

en	.............

en	I have to do this so we don't lose our balance!

en	Yeah!!!!!!

en	Better watch out, Diya. Min's probably thinking about doing bad things to you.

en	I wanna do bad things to you, Akarsha.

en	Really?? Like what?

en	Like snap your fucking neck.

en	How mean!!!

en	Jun-seo is pitching against [teamName!t].

en	Jun-seo is pitching against the [teamName!t].

en	His throws look a lot faster than Min's. He strikes Ester out with ease.

en	Out!

en	Liz is keeping score with a pencil and paper. She dutifully marks the strikeout with a "K."

en	Why isn't a strikeout S or SO? Why K?

en	K is for Killed.

en	That can't be it.

en	It's because S is already used for sacrifice.

en	The K from the the last letter of "struck."

en	That's a lame reason.

en	Agreed. I like Min's reason better.

en	"Sakura" is up to bat now.

en	She whiffs the first pitch, but pops the second one up.

en	I got it!

en	He chases the ball into foul territory and dives for it.

en	Out!

en	This situation sucks. If we were even able to get to first base, we could steal or do some weird shit, but nope...

en	Actually, I did some research on that. In most cases, attempting to steal has a much higher chance of having a negative result than a positive one.

en	Since most of us aren't that confident in our stealing skills, it would be better for us not to try it.

en	What the hell are you saying? Stealing is important.

en	No, it objectively has little value and is often actually detrimental.

en	For steal attempts to be NOT detrimental, you have to succeed around 70 percent of the time. That's the point where you break even.

en	The exact number depends on the situation, but it's always around that range.

en	For instance, for a runner on first with no outs, getting caught stealing will lose a team two-thirds of a run, on average, and a successful steal gains a third of a run.

en	So for every three steal attempts, you need to convert at least two, or the only thing you're stealing is runs from your team.

en	Do you succeed that often? If not, you are actually hurting the team's chances.

en	Min looks like she understood none of that.

en	Shut your hell up, you...lamp post!

en	Shut your hell up...

en	Lamp post...

en	You can't reduce things down to numbers.

en	Yes, I can.

en	She uses a stick to scratch a formula into the dirt: SBP = SB(SB+CS) x 100%%

en	Min quickly stomps out the formula.

en	The evil is defeated.

en	Those equations are just a bunch of word games. They're not real.

en	Look, this isn't even a matter of opinion. I'm right.

en	Numbers don't lie.

en	There are things you can't see!

en	Like what? Your feelings? The power of friendship?

en	Does it not occur to you that perhaps your enemies have those things too?

en	They're on both sides of the equation, so they cancel each other out.

en	Oh my god! This is baseball, not rocket science.

en	But this isn't rocket science. This is basic algebra.

en	Bro, give it up. Noelle hates being wrong.

en	Actually, I wouldn't know. I'm not familiar with the sensation.

en	Liz comes up and taps Akarsha on the shoulder.

en	Hey! You're up to bat now.

en	Akarsha lets out a prolonged croaking sound that lasts for 30 seconds.

en	We're down two outs, so I better not screw this up.

en	Akarsha picks a bat and heads to the plate.

en	Intimidate the enemy with an impressive entrance

en	Use psychological warfare

en	Akarsha slowly does a taichi pose while maintaining eye contact with Jun-seo.

en	This is the form, "Grasp the bird's tail."

en	Akarsha lies on her back and tries to jump onto her feet without using her hands.

en	There's not enough momentum. She just flops back down.

en	Wait for it. I got this.

en	She tries it again. This time she manages to land on the balls of her feet, but doesn't have muscle to pull herself up.

en	Defeated, she lands back on her butt.

en	Akarsha, cut it out.

en	Jun-seo doesn't look intimidated at all. He winds up and throws the ball.

en	You're not invited to my birthday party anymore.

en	...What...?

en	This is my special technique: Verbal Smoke Bomb.

en	My remark brought up so many questions that he's been thrown into confusion.

en	Akarsha, cut it out.

en	Still looking perplexed, Jun-seo pitches the ball.

en	Akarsha isn't experienced enough to distinguish balls from strikes, so she randomly decides whether or not to swing.

en	Unsurprisingly, she racks up three strikes in an instant.

en	No...my special technique...

en	How about you practice more instead of using your special technique?

en	It's time to switch sides now.

en	The batter hits the ball towards Akarsha again.

en	Akarsha fumbles the ball, allowing the runner to safely reach the bag.

en	Thanks for screwing up.

en	I didn't screw up. That was on purpose.

en	The truth is, I'm a double agent.

en	JUST ADMIT YOU MESSED UP ALREADY.

en	The Killer Whales have one out and a runner on first. The runner takes off as Jun-seo bunts the ball.

en	It rolls slowly all the way down the left foul line; Diya follows it closely, hovering over it like a hawk.

en	What's she doing?

en	If Diya can grab it when it's on the left side of the line, it'll count as foul.

en	You can't run on foul balls, so the runner will have to return to first.

en	The ball is still rolling almost exactly down the line.

en	Akarsha runs ahead of the ball and drags her foot in the dirt to make a path curving to the right.

en	Hey!

en	The ball hits the path and rolls foul! Diya quickly grabs it.

en	I'm a triple agent.

en	You can't just change allegiances to match whether or not you messed up.

en	Min throws the next pitch for a strike.

en	Nice work! Time to switch sides again.

en	That was fast.

en	That's good. It means Min's knuckleball is working.

en	We should give it a special name.

en	Like...Knuckles.

en	I'm not calling it a damn Sonic character.

en	It can be butterfly related, since they flutter.

en	Butterfly...butterfly thingy.

en	Butterfly from Hell's Anus.

en	The "anus" part wasn't necessary.

en	Noelle, you're up to bat!

en	Akarsha catcalls Noelle as she walks up to the plate.

en	WAOWW!! IT'S NOELLE!! YOW-WEE-MAMA!!!

en	SHUT UP!!!!!

en	How mean!

en	A swing and a miss.

en	I wonder if Noelle enjoys this?

en	She's having fun.

en	She's scowling as she swings the bat.

en	That's just her personality. If she disliked it, she would've quit by now.

en	Noelle strikes out.

en	Diya, you're next.

en	The catcher gets up and stands far off to the side, away from Diya.

en	Jun throws it into his mitt.

en	It's an intentional walk.

en	Right off the bat? They haven't even seen her hit yet.

en	They're scared of her. Hayden knows how strong she is, from when we were little.

en	They probably figure it's fine to let her have first since no one else on the team can get a hit.

en	That's smart. It'll be hard for us to score without her.

en	Once they've thrown four balls, Diya throws the bat to the side and trots to first.

en	It looks like he made the right call, because after Diya's walk, the team accumulates two more outs in an instant.

en	It looks like he made the right call, because after Diya's walk, the [teamName!t] accumulate two more outs in an instant.

en	Diya is stranded there until they switch sides.

en	Neither team manages to score for the next few innings.

en	Diya is still getting walked at each at-bat, and the others aren't skilled enough to reliably hit the enemy's pitches.

en	Diya is still getting walked at each at-bat, and the other [teamName!t] aren't skilled enough to reliably hit the enemy's pitches.

en	A few people manage to get hits off Min's knuckleball by chance, but no one's made it home yet.

en	By the 7th inning, though, some of Min's luck starts to run out.

en	Min's next pitch comes in high and inside, but instead of dropping, it soars up into the air.

en	Diya has to jump to catch it.

en	That's the fourth ball; the batter throws his bat aside and jogs to first base. The bases are loaded with no outs.

en	This is terrible. They're probably going to score at least one goal.

en	Did you just say "goal"??

en	The next batter is a buff looking fellow.

en	He smashes the pitch straight into right field, where Noelle is.

en	No! That's the worst possible person he could've hit it to!

en	It's so far out that the ball is like a speck in the clouds.

en	Noelle is apprehensively backing up with her glove out, squinting up at sky.

en	She plants her feet firmly shoulders' width apart, reaches up, and claps her free hand decisively over the glove.

en	She caught it?!

en	She caught it!

en	How is that possible?!

en	The runners all skid and scramble to reverse direction. They all need to tag up on their former bases now or they're out.

en	No one thought she would catch it! Here's our chance!

en	Noelle throws to Liz at second base.

en	There's a loud slap noise as Liz covers her glove with her hand, preventing the ball from bouncing out.

en	She easily tags the bag before Hayden can return to it.

en	That's two outs! Just one more!

en	Liz rears up and throws to Akarsha, who's manning first base.

en	...What the hell?

en	There's nothing in Liz's hand. She's throwing nothing at Akarsha.

en	Akarsha pretends to catch it in her glove and tags first base before Jun reaches it.

en	Out!

en	The runners are dejectedly returning to their defensive positions.

en	A triple play?!

en	Jun is looking at Akarsha suspiciously.

en	Wait a minute! She's not holding anything.

en	He saw!

en	What?? Where's the ball, then?

en	Heck if I know.

en	How do you guys not know??

en	I got it.

en	Chryssa plucks the missing ball from the grass in right field, where it's been this entire time.

en	Noelle didn't even catch it in the first place.

en	I knew it!

en	So we're not out after all!

en	No, you're all still out.

en	The rulebook states that if a runner abandons his effort to run the bases, he's out.

en	You all clearly gave up.

en	So it's still a triple play.

en	You son of a bitch...

en	Hey!

en	That was actually a compliment. I think.

en	It was a compliment.

en	This feels kind of like an asshole move, though.

en	On what planet do you guys live on where Noelle isn't an asshole?

en	Is it okay to trick them like that? Isn't it cheating?

en	It's not cheating. You guys deserve a freakin' Academy Award for that performance just now.

en	Especially Noelle. Good job!

en	Shut up. Don't praise me like I'm a little kid.

en	Are you crying?!

en	Ib nob cryig!

en	By the way, when you act like the ball is somewhere it's not, that's called a deke— short for "decoy."

en	Dekes an important part of infield play, like a feint.

en	They're rarely as elaborate as the three-way deke we just pulled off, but it's the same idea.

en	WE THE DEKE SQUAD.

en	Get it?

en	Oh my god. It's like Dick Squad, but Deke.

en	Deke Squad.

en	Deke Squad.

en	*chanting* DEKE SQUAD! DEKE SQUAD!

en	I bet the teachers always separate you two in class.

en	You bring out the worst in each other.

en	It's Akarsha's turn to bat again. There's already two outs and no one on base.

en	The Killer Whales are still winning, [enemyScore!t] to [teamScore!t].

en	The game is still tied, 0 - 0.

en	Suddenly, Jun cries out from the mound.

en	Wait, time out! My contact hurts!

en	Everyone pauses.

en	What's wrong with it?

en	I think I got dust under the lens.

en	Face screwed up in pain, he takes out what appears to be a tiny plunger.

en	What is that??

en	It's for taking out contact lens.

en	You're going to play without it on?? You can't pitch like that.

en	Hayden, didn't you say you wanted to try pitching?

en	Right now?? I've literally never pitched a ball in my life.

en	Why not? There's a first time for everything.

en	Jun-seo takes out the offending contact. He's now effectively blind in one eye.

en	Okay. Here goes nothing!

en	Intimidate him with your baseball expertise

en	Act weak so he goes easy on you

en	I go to baseball games.

en	I eat the baseballs.

en	.................

en	Akarsha takes one step forward and collapses dramatically across the plate.

en	My ankle!

en	Everyone is so used to her antics by now that no one reacts.

en	Akarsha, stop screwing around and get up.

en	Akarsha clutches her heart and gasps for breath.

en	That's so mean! The shock put me into cardiac arrest!

en	AKARSHA!

en	Akarsha winces and puts a hand on her stomach.

en	My appendix burst from the pressure!

en	Fine. Die then.

en	Hayden pitches the ball. Akarsha gets up just in time to take a wild swing at it.

en	I somehow hit it!

en	Through sheer luck, it's heading toward Jun, who's squinting up at it with his good eye.

en	I got it!

en	The ball hits him in the face!

en	Akarsha makes it to second base in the confusion.

en	Nice batting!

en	Finally...for the first time this entire game, someone's on already on base when Diya is up.

en	Even though Hayden is just walking Diya, he looks really scared to be pitching against her.

en	He throws the next pitch.

en	Everyone watches as the ball soars almost straight up into the sky in a high arc.

en	It drops back down about halfway to the plate.

en	HE DID A NOELLE...

en	Don't name errors after me!

en	HAYDEN WHAT'RE YOU DOING??!

en	SHUT UP! IT SLIPPED OUT OF MY HAND!

en	Hayden picks up the ball and tries again.

en	He accidentally throws it straight at Diya's head.

en	Diya ducks.

en	Ack! Sorry!

en	What the fuck is your problem?!

en	How dare you! Diya could've been killed!

en	Min and Noelle have stormed to the mound and are now bashing Hayden together.

en	I'm calling the police.

en	What? No one got hurt.

en	It doesn't matter. That was criminal negligence.

en	I will personally make sure your entire life is ruined.

en	He should be executed.

en	Executed?!

en	Hey! Get back on the bench!

en	Noelle, put the phone down! No one's getting arrested!

en	MIN, WHERE DID YOU GET MORE KNIVES?

en	Diya steps back up to the plate as Min and Noelle are dragged back to the bench.

en	They're both glowering in the corner, darkly muttering to one another...

en	There is no justice in the world.

en	Both of you, knock it off!

en	Hayden winds up and throws the ball.

en	It's not far enough outside! Diya lunged out at it and made contact.

en	She got a hit off the intentional walk attempt!

en	She hammers it straight into right field, right at Jun-seo again.

en	I got this! I got this!

en	The ball rolls through his legs.

en	Diya and Akarsha cross home plate to win the game.

en	YEEEEAHHH!!!!!

en	I can't believe it! We won!

en	You don't have to look so blatantly shocked.

en	The Niles team is departing.

en	Min and Noelle glare at Hayden as he goes into the van they arrived in.

en	Are you guys still plotting revenge?

en	I'll help. I love drama.

en	Are you still on your period?

en	Maybe you can touch him with your cursed period blood hand again.

en	Too late, man. The blood's brown now. They might think it's mud.

en	There's 9 of us, though, so there's probably 2.25 other girls on their periods.

en	What if we got all of them to run at the boys' team from different directions? That'd be like a nightmare.

en	I doubt anyone but you would agree to that plan.

en	Honestly, the guys would probably freak out even if you just threw a clean pad at them.

en	Oh my gosh...You're right!

en	Thanks for the idea.

en	No. No!

en	Don't do this. I refuse to be involved in this.

en	This is friendship goals, Frenchman. If we go down, we all go down together.

en	THAT'S JUST A ROUNDABOUT WAY OF SAYING YOU'RE DRAGGING ME DOWN WITH YOU.

en	Akarsha pulls a pad from her backpack and rips the wrapper open with a loud crinkle.

en	I don't get why they make the sound so conspicuous.

en	I know, right? The only way they could make it more obvious is if they added firecrackers.

en	Chryssa is power walking over to them. She has developed a sixth sense when some stupid shit is about to go down.

en	Who's opening a pad out here?

en	....!

en	Noelle quickly moves about 15 feet away and pretends not to know them.

en	We gotta make this quick!

en	We should soak it with something to make it more unknown.

en	I have Gatorade.

en	What flavor?

en	Yellow one. Yellow flavor.

en	YES...

en	I hate that I know you well enough to discern that you want it to look like pee.

en	Pee girl.

en	Akarsha pours a splash of the Gatorade on it.

en	I feel like I'm doing one of those absorbency demonstrations in commercials.

en	Our liquid is the wrong color, though. It's always blue.

en	Those cowards. They should use red like blood.

en	Akarsha holds up their finished creation.

en	I'm gonna throw it now.

en	Should I?

en	NO.

en	Do it!

en	Akarsha flings the pad like a frisbee into the van!

en	It hits Jun-seo in the shoulder.

en	WHAT IS THAT??!

en	AAAAaaaAAAAaAAAA!!!!

en	Jun goes down!

en	Screams fill the van as though a grenade was thrown in.

en	The team desperately scatters away from the deadly object.

en	Someone is climbing out of the window.

en	Akarsha and Min

en	HAHAHAHA!!!!

en	WHAT DID YOU BRATS DO THIS TIME?!

en	...!

en	Run. Run!

en	GET BACK HERE!

en	GYyyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaAa!!!!!!!!!

en	Ayyyy! I'm here.

en	Hello? Diya? Homie??

en	Diya is examining something on a tree branch.

en	[caterpillar!t] made a cocoon.

en	She points at the chrysalis.

en	He's soup now, inside.

en	Isn't it crazy? Their whole body liquifies and has to rebuild itself.

en	Imagine if growing up was that bad for us.

en	It must be a complicated process.

en	I always worry something will go wrong in there, and they won't ever wake up.

en	What if someone shakes it really hard? It'll stir the soup.

en	Naw man, they're pretty resilient.

en	Did you know its memory survives that?

en	If you teach a caterpillar something, like to fear a certain smell or whatever, after it comes out of its cocoon as a butterfly it'll still remember.

en	Even though the outside's different, it's still the same Caterpilly on the inside, from beginning to end.

en	Will he remember me?

en	Sure, as much as an eating machine can.

en	Believe in [caterpillar!t].

en	.................

en	Akarsha.

en	Ya?

en	I need to tell you something. Noelle wouldn't understand.

en	I...

en	....................less.......

en	.............bean.

en	I like a girl.

en	Oh. Nice.

en	........You're not surprised.

en	I mean, I can tell.

en	I'm bi.

en	??????????????????

en	It's not a secret? I've literally hit on girls in front of you?

en	I've literally hit on you?

en	You...What.

en	But those were all jokes. I thought you were kidding.

en	The kinds of jokes you decide to tell are indicative of your character.

en	I tell gay jokes because I am a gay joke.

en	Also, you should tell Min. She likes you back.

en	I'll help you.

en	2nd grade

en	Min, are you ready to go?

en	Heck no.

en	I still gotta do my hair.

en	Slowpoke.

en	Not my fault.

en	Do you have any idea how long this takes to dry?

en	Oh, come on. It's like 5 minutes.

en	But it builds up! Combined over my lifetime, it adds up to...

en	Uh..........

en	Infinity.

en	If you don't know the answer, just admit it.

en	I read something interesting in the news this morning.

en	Wait, what?

en	I thought you have that thing where you can't read. Dystopia.

en	Dyslexia.

en	Dyslexia.

en	And I CAN read. It just takes me longer.

en	So what's the thing you read?

en	What percent of America do you think is Asian-American?

en	50%

en	80%

en	100%

en	Maybe like half?

en	Probably more. Like 80%%.

en	Maybe like 80%%?

en	100%%.

en	What am I, then?!

en	Your imaginary friend??

en	Oh. I forgot about you.

en	That's even worse! I'm standing right in front of you!

en	What's the actual answer?

en	4%%.

en	4%%?!

en	I knew it. He can't read.

en	I can read! That's what it really said!

en	Yeah, right. That's impossible.

en	Are you sure you read it correctly?

en	Sometimes you read things wrong.

en	I didn't read it wrong. It said right there, 4%%.

en	Then it must've been a misprint.

en	Like, they forgot the zero.

en	And thought the 9 was a 4, so it's really 90%%.

en	Oh, wait, I know! They forgot to include the Indians.

en	It was including Indians.

en	Why don't you guys believe me? It's really 4%%!

en	Because it's not. Hayden, look around you.

en	Do you see any white people?

en	Min gestures at all the other kids on the playground. Indeed, everyone is Asian.

en	You're like an endangered species.

en	But that's just here. The rest of the country isn't like this.

en	Don't you wonder why everyone is white on TV?

en	That's easy. Because their parents won't let them become actors.

en	It's too risky. Only white parents are that dumb.

en	Okay, but what about sports? There aren't Asians there, either.

en	That's the same thing. Being an athlete is too risky for Asian parents to approve of it.

en	The difference can't be that big! I'm going to cut out the newspaper article and show it to you guys.

en	............

en	............

en	Stop looking at me all concerned like that!

en	I can't believe it. Hayden's gone mad...

en	I'm not mad!

en	Gone mad...

en	Hayden, are you feeling lonely or something?

en	It's okay. We still like you even though you're different.

en	Yeah. Every year they show us that video where they go back in time to racism!

en	Racism is over.

en	I give up........forget it................

en	Boy

en	Another boy

en	The playground structure rattles as a bunch of boys climb aboard.

en	Hey, Hayden! Jun!

en	Wanna play baseball?

en	Oh. Uh........

en	He looks like he really doesn't want to.

en	Uneasily, he turns to Hayden, who just shrugs.

en	Aren't you both in Little League?

en	Yeah...but...

en	What about me?

en	Can I play?

en	You??

en	Yeah, why not?

en	There's an uncomfortable silence.

en	The group is nervously exchanging glances amongst themselves. This is clearly the first time a girl has asked to join their ranks.

en	I'm not like other girls. I'm way, way worse.

en	The others look at Min skeptically.

en	What, are you scared you'll lose to a girl?

en	What?! No!

en	Wow, you ARE scared.

en	You little bitch.

en	A hush falls over the group.

en	She said the b-word...

en	She plays video games, too.

en	Oh yeah? Like what?

en	Like Sonic Adventure 2.

en	This instantly wins everyone over!

en	The group has made their way to the field.

en	Jun, your shirt's so girly.

en	How's it girly? It's Arthur.

en	Everyone is scrutinizing Jun's shirt now.

en	Wearing Arthur on your shirt looks gay.

en	I'm not gay!

en	Then why're you wearing that shirt? Haha!

en	Min takes out a box cutter!

en	Hey!

en	What's so funny? You wanna go?

en	The blade glints in the sunlight as she stabs the air in front of the jeering boys.

en	Frightened, everyone abruptly stops laughing.

en	...You...you can't do that!

en	Says who? You? Fight me.

en	The boy shrinks back on the bench as she nears him.

en	That's what I thought.

en	Min successfully asserted dominance over the leader of the group!

en	She clicks the blade back in and sits down.

en	...Thanks...

en	Anytime. It's your noona's job to protect you.

en	It's Min's turn at bat now.

en	She swings ferociously at the incoming pitch!

en	DIEEEE!!!!!!

en	Min hits the ball toward the mound!

en	The pitcher ducks to avoid getting beaned. Min reaches the bag with time to spare.

en	I made it to first.

en	It's Jun's turn at bat.

en	Jun bunted it into the dirt!

en	He's sacrificing himself so I can make it to second.

en	Min dashes for second base. She slides feet first into the bag.

en	Boys

en	Hahaha!!!

en	Suddenly, everyone's laughing at her.

en	Huh?

en	Min, your skirt...

en	He's pointing down at it.

en	Min's skirt has flipped up so everyone can see her underwear.

en	I hate skirts!

en	They're stupid.

en	What?? Don't be silly.

en	You look so cute in them.

en	I don't wanna look cute!

en	I wanna look cool!

en	Well, we already bought them. So you have to wear them.

en	I always say I don't like them but you keep buying them anyway!

en	I'd rather die than wear one.

en	It's embarrassing.

en	How come I have to when Jun doesn't?

en	That'd be crazy! Jun's a boy.

en	Boys don't wear skirts.

en	That's not fair! Then I won't wear skirts either, then.

en	Also, Mom...

en	I don't like this shirt anymore.

en	What're you talking about? That's your favorite shirt.

en	I changed my mind.

en	Why? It's a perfectly good shirt.

en	I just did, alright?

en	I'm not allowed to not like a shirt?

en	Both of you are being ridiculous. You're wearing the clothes we bought you, and that's final.

en	So spoiled. What kind of kids are you?

en	...................

en	...................

en	The car glides up the ramp to the freeway.

en	Jun-seo is mashing the buttons on his Game Boy Advance like his life depends on it.

en	You've been playing that the entire day.

en	It's my turn.

en	Wait. Just 5 more minutes.

en	You said that 20 minutes ago.

en	I have to beat this level.

en	Mom! Jun won't let me play on the Game Boy even though he said he would!

en	Why don't you look outside at all the trees?

en	Why do I have to do that when Jun gets to play Sonic? That's not fair!

en	It's not normal for a girl to like video games that much.

en	None of our friends' daughters play games.

en	There must be something wrong with your hormones. We should go see a doctor.

en	I don't need to see a doctor! There's nothing wrong with liking games!

en	Yes, there is. It's not natural for a girl.

en	It's called a Game Boy, not a Game Girl!

en	Hahaha!

en	Haha! Good one!

en	That's not funny. This isn't fair!

en	It's just a game. Take it easy.

en	Min wrenches the Game Boy out of Jun's hands!

en	Before he can stop her, she rolls down the window and chucks it as hard as she can onto the freeway.

en	MOM!!!!!!

en	LOOK WHAT MIN DID!!!!

en	You did WHAT?!

en	Did you get the Game Boy back?

en	We turned around and got it. The screen was busted, though.

en	Once you turned it on, it'd show all this rainbow shit. You couldn't use it at all.

en	Nooo..........

en	Why're you so angry all the time? Always breaking stuff...

en	Because people are stupid all the time!

en	Just, like, calm down. Try not getting angry.

en	I AM trying!

en	Try harder. You didn't have to do that! Now neither of you can play it.

en	Exactly! Now it's fair.

en	Why should he get to be happy when I can't?

en	That's...one way to think about it...

en	Jun returns to the table with their Happy Meals.

en	Thanks!

en	Hayden digs into his box and pulls out his plastic-wrapped toy.

en	Ooh! Look what I got!

en	It's a futuristic looking Hot Wheels car sporting translucent ice blue windows.

en	Whoa!

en	Jun unwraps his toy, too. His is a monster truck.

en	Whoa!!!

en	That's not bad, either!

en	Uh...I guess?

en	I don't really get why these things are popular.

en	Hayden, are you up to trading for yours?

en	Depends. Whatchu got?

en	Min takes her toy out of her Happy Meal.

en	It's a...Barbie doll.

en	.............

en	I don't want this.

en	I'm gonna ask for a replacement.

en	Look at TV

en	Talk to Hayden

en	Approach the counter

en	T.V.

en	Imagine a world where love is ILLEGAL...

en	The screen shows a man and woman bumping into each other and making eye contact.

en	Breathtakingly original...

en	The man and woman are passionately making out.

en	Yuck.

en	A forbidden romance like you've NEVER seen before...

en	For some reason, the entire cast is comprised of brown haired white people. They look similar enough that they could be siblings.

en	What the heck...

en	See? It's all white people on TV.

en	We've already gone over this.

en	It's because Asian people's parents don't let them become actors.

en	That's can't be it. The difference is way too extreme.

en	Min sadly shakes her head at him.

en	Gone mad...

en	I haven't gone mad!

en	Hayden is trying to cheer Jun up.

en	I just came up with a great joke! Wanna hear it?

en	If Sherlock Holmes owned all the houses in a neighborhood, what would the neighborhood be called?

en	A small, patient smile forms on Jun's face.

en	Sherlock Homes.

en	What! How did you know?

en	You've already told me this joke before.

en	No way? I came up with it just now!

en	But also you told it to me last year. You forgot your own joke and came up with it all over again.

en	What...I seriously don't remember, though?

en	Jun covers his face when he laughs.

en	But you did! It was exactly the same!

en	It's not even that funny, but you were so proud of it both times!

en	Exhaling, he appears to regain his composure, but it's only a moment before he doubles over again.

en	Why were you so proud?

en	Hey, it's a great joke, okay?

en	Hey, wanna hear another joke?

en	Sure!

en	Why couldn't Cinderella play baseball?

en	Why?

en	Because her s, stepmother—

en	Hayden can't keep a straight face! He's stifling his laugh so it sounds like a garbage disposal.

en	—kkkkkKK......kggghh!!!!

en	Jun waits patiently as he takes deep, calming breaths to recollect himself.

en	Because her stepmother wouldn't let her go to the....go to the—

en	Hayden is laughing so hard at his own joke that he can't even finish it!

en	You're hopeless...

en	Looking aghast, Jun pulls a wrapped burger out of his Happy Meal.

en	What's wrong?

en	They gave me a cheeseburger instead of chicken nuggets.

en	Then go complain.

en	No, it's okay!

en	I don't wanna bother the workers.

en	Suit yourself...

en	Jun-seo is sadly eating the burger he doesn't want.

en	Ask for a different toy

en	Walk back to seat

en	Cashier

en	Min approaches the counter.

en	Hey, you!

en	I want a different toy.

en	Sorry, we can't do that.

en	No, I don't mean I'm trying to get a specific one. I want a boy one, but they gave me a girl toy by mistake.

en	But you're such a pretty girl! You don't want Hot Wheels.

en	Yeah, I do!

en	Hand it over or you're getting it.

en	Haha! You're a funny little girl.

en	..................

en	..................

en	..................

en	What were you thinking?! Why did you ruin your hair like that?!

en	That's what you get!

en	And it's not ruined! It's better like this!

en	What's gotten into you?!

en	If you continue like this, no man is ever going to marry you!

en	Who cares!

en	If I have to have long hair to get married, I don't wanna get married!

en	I don't ever want kids!

en	Her parents furrow their brows in concern.

en	You have to have at least two or three.

en	I don't think I'd make a good parent. I don't want my kids to end up hating me.

en	You won't be happy if you don't have kids.

en	You'll get it when you grow up.

en	What's there to get?

en	I'll never wanna kiss a guy anyway. They're smelly and have gross skin like Dad.

en	Well, nobody's perfect.

en	You have to have realistic expectations.

en	I am being realistic!

en	I don't want someone who's nothing special.

en	I'm pretty awesome, so I should get someone who's awesome, too.

en	Prince Charming doesn't exist in real life.

en	If you think like that, you'll never find anyone.

en	Then I'll just stay alone!

en	You can't do that!

en	Why do you get to decide what happens to me?!

en	We're your parents! You have to do what we say!

en	No! It's my life, not yours!

en	What's wrong with you?!

en	What did we ever deserve to get a horrible child like this?!

en	There's something wrong with her brain. She's so disobedient.

en	She's still playing baseball with all those boys.

en	What's wrong with that?!

en	Do you see any other girls doing that?

en	Do you want to be some kind of weirdo?

en	But Jun gets to! How come I don't get to?!

en	Jun is a boy! You're a girl!

en	What part of that don't you understand?! Are you brain damaged?

en	THAT'S STUPID! IT'S NOT FAIR!!

en	That's reality! The world's not fair!

en	This isn't some fairy tale! You have to accept it, or you're stupid!

en	I WON'T ACCEPT IT!

en	I WON'T EVER ACCEPT IT!!

en	{big=20}SO STUPID! WE REALLY DO HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO A DOCTOR NOW!{/big}

en	{big=20}YOU HAVE MENTAL PROBLEMS! BRAIN DAMAGED!{/big}

en	{big=20}RETARDED!{/big}

en	{big=20}YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S RETARDED!{/big}

en	{big=20}I HATE YOU! GO TO HELL!!{/big}

en	There is a small statue sitting on the living room shelf.

en	Min's dad picks it up and hurls it at her.

en	Min!

en	Min dodges. The statue strikes the glass coffee table behind her, shattering the glass into a thousand pieces on the floor.

en	Min was expecting the shards to be all sharp and jagged, but instead, they look like Icee slush.

en	You were asking for it.

en	Jun-seo has started crying.

en	Stop it! She's sorry!

en	She's sorry, stop!

en	Shut up!

en	He grabs Jun's arm.

en	!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	Min lunges at her dad and bites down on his wrist.

en	AUGH!!!

en	He lets go of Jun!

en	Min throws a punch, but he catches it with his hand.

en	He's so strong!

en	I hate this! I hate this!

en	I'll kill him if it's the last thing I do!

en	I'll kill him. I'll save all of us.

en	I'll wait until he's asleep and slit his throat.

en	You can't. You'll go to jail.

en	I don't have a choice.

en	I don't want to hurt anyone, but I want to be happy, too.

en	If Dad dies, we won't have enough money to live.

en	Then Mom'll get a new husband.

en	Maybe this time, we'll get a normal one who doesn't go crazy and break everything.

en	Dad only does that when he's mad. You knew he'd lose his temper if you kept saying things like that.

en	You should've just apologized and said you were wrong.

en	But I wasn't wrong.

en	It doesn't matter.

en	Yeah it does! I'm not gonna say I was wrong when I wasn't.

en	You're so stubborn!

en	Don't you get it? There's no way to win against him.

en	The more you argue, the worse you're making things.

en	You have to learn how to pick your battles like me and Mom.

en	Why do I have to be the one who has to be mature?

en	That's not fair! I'm a kid! He's supposed to be the adult!

en	I don't deserve to be treated like that!

en	If he can't control himself, he shouldn't be allowed to have kids.

en	You can think about some other time when he's not about to blow up!

en	Just act like you're sorry.

en	I'd rather die!

en	Look, this is just common sense! Why don't you get it?

en	Just keep your head down and act normal until we're old enough to get out.

en	Screw that!

en	I shouldn't have to worry about any of this in the first place!

en	I'm not letting him treat me that way, like some wimpy sissy.

en	There's a fine line between bravery and stupidity.

en	I'll walk that line.

en	No! You have to learn!

en	{i}I{/i} have to learn?

en	I didn't do anything wrong! He's the one who should learn!

en	We already went over this.

en	You're a coward.

en	You're an idiot.

en	I don't understand you.

en	Good. I don't understand you either.

en	Min sulks on the bleachers as Jun and Hayden's team goes on defense.

en	I hate everyone.

en	How can they stand how unfair everything is? It's so obvious.

en	Are they just dumb? There's something wrong with the world.

en	God! I'm so mad.

en	She takes out a pack of seaweed sheets and aggressively chomps on them as she thinks edgy, rebellious thoughts.

en	I don't need anyone. I'll do everything all by myself.

en	I'll never fall in love. I'll be like a lone wolf.

en	I'll become so happy and successful that everyone who was ever bad to me has to beg on their hands and knees for me to forgive them.

en	That'll show them. They'll regret being so stupid and wrong, while I was right.

en	An enemy batter comes up to the plate.

en	OH MY GOD???????? HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!

en	It's a girl with eyes the color of desert camouflage.

en	The boys seated next to Min are murmuring and pointing at the batter.

en	Pretty girl

en	Hey, look! It's a girl batting!

en	Yes! Our team got lucky!

en	...................

en	The pretty girl is shaking like a leaf as she settles into her batting stance. She looks terrified.

en	DON'T GIVE UP!

en	YOU'RE COOL!!!

en	DO YOU HEAR ME? DON'T GIVE UP!

en	I WON'T GIVE UP IF YOU DON'T GIVE UP!

en	................!

en	At the sound of Min's voice, the batter whirls around to face the stands, her eyes searching the crowd.

en	For some reason, she can't seem to discern what direction it came from. Eventually she gives up and turns back to the diamond.

en	The pitcher winds up and sends a fastball straight down the middle.

en	The batter swings at it with terrifying power.

en	The ball rockets off the bat and flies over the fence on the far end of the field.

en	HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!

en	GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	A NATIONAL TREASURE!!!!!

en	The batter hit a walk-off. The game is over because she scored.

en	Everyone comes in from the field. Her teammates have come bounding over, giddy off their victory.

en	They're laughing and chatting amongst themselves.

en	The girl is nervously nodding at them instead of speaking.

en	She's so shy! That's so cute!

en	I wonder what her voice sounds like.

en	Maybe she can't talk? Like Ariel in the Little Mermaid.

en	Min's heart is pounding so fast!

en	Holy shit...Okay...okay!!

en	Min, calm down.

en	Play it cool. Be smooth.

en	Panic flashes in the girl's eyes when Min runs up to her.

en	Hey! Um, you're really cool.

en	What's your name? I'm Min.

en	The girl's face lights up when she recognizes Min's voice.

en	It was you, earlier.

en	You cheered for me.

en	Of course I did. You were badass.

en	The girl startles. Min said a swear word!

en	I mean, you were awesome!

en	I'm Diya.

en	That's so pretty! It sounds like you.

en	......................

en	I have seaweed. Do you want some?

en	Diya looks at Min all wide-eyed, like she can't believe her luck.

en	Min actually spends a fraction of a second trying to think of a way she can casually give her the seaweed and somehow touch her hand in the process.

en	In the end, she just holds the sheet out normally.

en	Diya's fingertips brush Min's as she takes it.

en	A bizzare tingling feeling, impossible to identify, prickles across Min's palms. It feels like being tickled with soda bubbles.

en	Thanks.

en	You're welcome!!!

en	Min stands there with an idiotic smile on her face as Diya eats it.

en	Do you wanna be friends?

en	{nw}

en	Min

en	Help me

en	;;

en	whats wrong??? WHO HURT YOU

en	ill kill them! ill smash their heads in

en	I don't know how to talk to the baseball team

en	They're being

en	.......weird

en	Check the baseball club chat

en	{nw}

en	*pets you*

en	nya :3

en	*purrs and rolls over*

en	WTF

en	ohayou gozaimorning

en	join our rp group

en	*rubs againt min*

en	KICKS YOU OVER A FENCE

en	BE A FURRY FREAK HO SOMEWHERE ELSE

en	SAD NYA

en	hgfHJFDSKFJAD

en	Chryssa has entered the chatroom.

en	Hey Chryssa!

en	yo

en	We should do something to celebrate our win

en	how about going out for lunch?

en	!!!! :D! !!

en	That sounds good

en	Any suggestions for where?

en	Buffet

en	Perfect, I have a coupon for Bombay Garden

en	It's an Indian buffet in the mall

en	if we're really being frugal

en	I bet Min could pass off as under 12 for the Kids price

en	Why stop there?

en	Infants eat for free.

en	DAMN

en	HEY

en	more realistically, Min could actually fit in our equipment bag

en	the giant 3 ft long one

en	we can straight up smuggle her inside and not pay for her at all

en	Won't the waiters find it odd that a tiny Asian kid suddenly materialized at our table?

en	No, they won't see her

en	She'll stay in the bag

en	When no one's looking, we can quickly slip the food inside.

en	what kind of demented fantasy even is this

en	I'm getting scared for your future children, you weirdo

en	that sounds kinda fun actually

en	ill do it

en	WHAT

en	ill be like

en	illegal

en	Alright, let's meet up there at noon tomorrow

en	Be there or be square :)

en	Tomorrow? I won't be able to go.

en	:c

en	Why not?

en	I just had fun 3 months ago. My parents will complain I'm wasting time.

en	i cant go either

en	im still grounded for getting ecxpelled from niles

en	How are you coming to practice, then?

en	i told them i'm going to a tutering group

en	can't u say ur going to a special additional session?

en	bc ur extra dumb and need the help

en	fuck yuo

en	and thats not gonna work

en	they wont be convinced that easily

en	Wait, listen.

en	I have an idea.

en	Min's mom accompanies her to the library.

en	Noelle is seated inside with her mom.

en	Min gestures at her, wrinkling her nose with disgust.

en	This is my private tutor or whatever.

en	Yes. I am receiving extra credit for this.

en	Min's mom eyes the clearly nerdy girl Min would never be friends with.

en	Noelle's mom eyes the clearly stupid girl Noelle would never be friends with.

en	Show us your latest math test.

en	Min takes a crumpled ball of paper out of her pocket. When she smoothes it out, it's marked all over, red with failure.

en	WHAT HAPPENED??

en	I got unlucky. There were so many where I narrowed it down to 2 choices, and guessed wrong.

en	THERE'S ONLY 4 CHOICES. EVEN IF YOU CHOSE EVERY SINGLE ANSWER AT RANDOM, ON AVERAGE YOU WOULD'VE SCORED HIGHER THAN THIS!

en	Yeah?? Says who?

en	...What? Says probability.

en	Noelle teaches Min the concept of probability...

en	Sounds fake.

en	IT'S NOT FAKE.

en	Do you at least understand it now?

en	I guess.

en	Finally convinced that Noelle is legitimately tutoring Min, their moms head home.

en	We fooled them!

en	All we need to do now is walk to the buffet, and remember to come back here later to get picked up.

en	It's so messed up that we even have to do this, just for really basic things. We're not even doing anything bad.

en	I can't comprehend a situation where you don't have to hide most of your life from your parents.

en	Right? A healthy relationship with your parents? What's that?

en	It sucks that due to societal pressures, practically everyone has kids, whether they're well suited for parenting or not.

en	It took me a long time to accept that my mom and dad are decent people who just happen to make horrible parents.

en	I bet mine are worse.

en	My dad taped the times table up to 12x12 to the wall at eye level, and made me stand facing it until I memorized the whole thing in one go.

en	I was only 5, but I remember it clearly because I was there for hours and hours.

en	...I still don't know the 11 and 12 ones.

en	Oh yeah? My dad once threw a porcelain toilet seat at me from upstairs.

en	Why a toilet seat?

en	My dad went to pee in the middle of an argument and suddenly remembered how mad he was at me.

en	So he stormed out of the bathroom with the thing in hand and hurled it at me on sight.

en	Wow. That explains a lot about you.

en	Parents should be required to take a test before they can have kids.

en	I wish that were viable. Maybe in an ideal world, where all vehicle turn signals sync up and blink the same speed.

en	I'd want the test to ask them to explain their motivation for being a parent. Do you want a kid just to elevate your own status?

en	What if your kids don't turn out the way you expected?

en	A bunch of white guys holler at them as they pass by the intersection.

en	White guy

en	Konnichiwa!

en	Min makes an obscene hand gesture at him.

en	This is America! SPEAK ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

en	That's...not the correct way to think of it.

en	It's kinda funny, he had two chances to get it right and got it wrong for both of us.

en	Like you and your math test.

en	Oh, shut up.

en	We're here!

en	Diya and Akarsha are already waiting by the fountain.

en	Diya!

en	........!

en	{font=tamil.ttf}வணக்கம்.{/font}

en	{font=tamil.ttf}நான் குசு விரும்புகிறேன்.{/font}

en	......!!!

en	I love you.

en	{font=korean.ttf}사랑해.{/font}

en	This just added 5 years to my lifespan!!!

en	Diya has moved so that she's standing directly beneath the air conditioning vent. She closes her eyes contentedly as the cool draft blows over her face.

en	You're sweating buckets. Were you exercising or something?

en	Ran 5 miles to here from my house.

en	But your house is only 1 mile away.

en	I know. I just can't read maps.

en	You should cool off in the fountain.

en	No.

en	It doesn't matter that you're not wearing a swimsuit. If you take off your clothes, your bra and underwear will basically be like a bikini.

en	You think the swimsuit is the only issue here??

en	It's called having fun, Frenchman. You should try it sometime.

en	Really? Then why don't YOU jump into the fountain?

en	........Great question!

en	What?

en	It's filled with money people threw in there. It's like a swimming pool but better.

en	She's right! There's nothing stopping us from taking it.

en	You can't be serious. Stop. Stop!

en	How much money have you got so far?

en	Min examines the fistful of dirty coins in her hand.

en	Uh.......

en	A lot.

en	Min holds it out for Akarsha to see.

en	You've got like $1.88.

en	If we find 392 more cents, we can buy Mario Party at GameStop.

en	Hey! What're you doing in there?? Get out!

en	Chryssa is powerwalking toward them.

en	Shit.

en	Akarsha and Min reluctantly climb out of the mall fountain.

en	Why are you two like this???

en	Have you never gone outside before??

en	How dare you. Just last week, I went to Safeway with my mom.

en	Chryssa points at Noelle, who's smugly watching them get scolded from a safe distance.

en	And you!

en	What! I didn't do anything.

en	Exactly. You should've stopped them.

en	Are you the responsible one or not??

en	Alright, I think they get it. Let's just go into the restaurant now.

en	Get in the bag, Min!

en	Liz places the empty equipment bag on the floor and unzips it.

en	Min climbs in and lies on her side in fetal position. There's actually some room to spare.

en	You okay in there?

en	It's kinda like being in sleeping bag, except not padded and shitty.

en	I'm doing a crime. If I stay undercover like this, I'll basically be stealing from the restaurant.

en	That's right, homie. Fight the system.

en	We need to zip this up now, so no one sees you.

en	Everyone wave goodbye to Min.

en	Bye, Min!

en	I can't see a thing now that it's zipped shut.

en	Min feels a tug on the top of the bag.

en	Ugh, I didn't think about carrying the bag in.

en	It's like, a hundred pounds.

en	Diya can lift it. She's the strongest.

en	No, Diya won't work.

en	She'd look too guilty. You can see it on her face.

en	See, Mom! She's already uncomfortable.

en	...Did you just call me Mom?

en	What?! I did not.

en	You totally did.

en	I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT.

en	Alright, I'll carry the bag.

en	Whoa. She's lifting the bag off the ground.

en	I'm suddenly really worried about being dropped.

en	If you drop me, I'll kill you.

en	They've halted inside the restaurant.

en	Waiter

en	How many?

en	Nine. I mean, eight.

en	We don't have any large tables left. Is two separate ones fine?

en	Sure.

en	Come this way.

en	The bag shifts with Chryssa's movements as she follows the waiter.

en	These tables are pretty tall.

en	If Min were sitting at it, she'd need a booster seat.

en	{big=+20}I'M NOT THAT SHORT, YOU BITCH!{/big}

en	................

en	....................

en	....................

en	Shit.

en	Min's life as a fugitive has ended.

en	At least now that you've blown your cover, you can eat normally with us.

en	Yeah.

en	Min crawls out of the bag and takes a seat with Akarsha, Noelle, and Diya.

en	We can get our drinks and food now.

en	As Akarsha reaches for her empty glass, Noelle grabs her arm.

en	Wait. I'll get your water along with mine.

en	You go ahead and get your food.

en	Thanks...?

en	Don't mention it.

en	Do you have a fever or something?

en	You're really docile all of a sudden.

en	I don't have the energy to deal with both you and Min-seo at the same time.

en	I'll get you back for this later.

en	I like how getting her water is something you have to get her back for.

en	Diya pauses, then turns to look at Min. The restaurant is noisy enough that she likely didn't catch what Min said, but she heard her tone of approval.

en	You like Noelle now?

en	Her face is shining with hope. Min is struck with the conviction that saying no would be a crime punishable by death.

en	...She's okay, I guess.

en	Diya beams at her. The blinding exposure temporarily lowers Min's IQ by 50 points.

en	Yeah!! That was so worth it!

en	I don't know what anything is.

en	Surely you at least recognize Tandoori chicken.

en	You're saying it wrong.

en	Wait, really? Tandoori?

en	Tan-due-ri.

en	The "doo" isn't like in "door". It's like..doo-doo head.

en	Are you 5 years old? You could've just said, like the "due" in "due date."

en	Tan-due-ri...

en	Tan-due-ri...

en	I ended up taking a bit of everything.

en	Maybe this will make Diya think I'm cool for trying all of it.

en	The Tando...Tan-due-ri chicken is too salty.

en	Noelle dumps it on Diya's plate. Diya eagerly stuffs the extra food into her mouth.

en	What is she, your garbage disposal?

en	Min jitters her leg so the table is rattling like there's a small earthquake.

en	Stop that.

en	Akarsha joins in at the same frequency, so it resonates.

en	Knowledge is power.

en	Akarsha sips her water. She's downed about half the glass now.

en	Clearly waiting for this moment to arrive, Noelle smugly flips open her cell phone and shows it to her.

en	Akarsha, look at this photo.

en	It's a picture of the restaurant's bathroom stall. In the center of the frame, Noelle is holding a water glass to the toilet.

en	Is that...You filled my cup with toilet water?!

en	What do you think?

en	Seriously?!

en	Akarsha stands. Noelle has a perversely happy look on her face, like a child burning ants with a magnifying glass.

en	Seriously now, are you serious? Come on man, seriously now really are you serious come on man.

en	Now we're even.

en	Ew!! Ew!!!

en	I can't believe you! You meanie!!

en	My stomach hurts now!

en	You're being overdramatic. The bacteria wouldn't affect it that fast.

en	I'm gonna wash my mouth out!

en	Akarsha disappears into the bathroom.

en	Jesus Christ...

en	...........

en	Worried, Diya goes after Akarsha, leaving Min alone with Noelle at the table.

en	Noelle is in a particularly good mood now.

en	Check on Diya and Akarsha

en	Min gets up and hovers awkwardly outside the women's restroom.

en	Peering through the open door from the hallway, she can see Akarsha and Diya at the sink.

en	Akarsha cups her hand under the running faucet, gargles the tap water, and spits it back out.

en	Oh my god! People pooped in the toilet water! And I drank it!

en	Yeah.

en	This WOULD happen to me. Classic.

en	What did I ever do to deserve this?

en	You tied Noelle's braid to a tree.

en	Besides that. That's so minor!

en	And "accidentally" dropped a worm we were dissecting down her shirt.

en	Besides that. That was weeks ago!

en	Yesterday you picked her up, replied "Okay!" when she demanded you put her down, and threw her into the school swimming pool.

en	And when she screeched, "Now I'm all wet," you yelled, "That's what she said."

en	Besides that! None of these count!

en	..............

en	Such a cruel world we live in.

en	...Right.

en	Diya clearly has no idea what to say.

en	Even though she's mostly just standing there listening, though, Akarsha seems to appreciate her presence.

en	It looks like they're doing okay.

en	Min returns to the table.

en	They're taking a long time in there.

en	She's not crying, is she?

en	No, she's just being a drama queen like usual.

en	What, are you worried?

en	What?? No.

en	I was just curious.

en	Whatever you say, Satan.

en	Was it really toilet water?

en	What? Of course not. That would've been unsanitary.

en	What kind of person do you think I am?

en	What the fuck...That somehow makes it even worse.

en	You lied to her.

en	I never lied.

en	I purposefully led her to the wrong conclusion, that's all.

en	Um...It pisses me off to admit it, but you're less boring than I originally thought.

en	I used to think you were the bland goody-two-shoes type.

en	But you're actually this sadistic, manipulative weirdo.

en	I can respect that.

en	...Thanks...?

en	Sorry I've been a jerk to you.

en	If I'd given you a chance, we might've gotten along.

en	What?!

en	J-just kidding! I hate you.

en	Noelle nods with relief.

en	Good. I hate you, too.

en	None of this Disney shit.

en	Right.

en	The workers are refilling the iced tea keg now.

en	That looks good.

en	Min fetches a glass of iced tea and returns to the table.

en	What is that?

en	Iced tea.

en	What? Where was it?

en	Min points at the glass keg in the corner of the buffet.

en	Why is it all by itself, away from the other beverages?

en	Uh...Maybe they didn't have room by the soda machine?

en	Now that she looks, though, there is room by the soda machine.

en	Shit. You're right.

en	What the hell is this then?

en	How should I know?

en	Min sniffs it.

en	I can't tell what it is.

en	You try.

en	Noelle brings the bowl to her face and inhales.

en	I don't know. It doesn't smell like a tea.

en	Min pours half of it into another glass and slides it over to Noelle.

en	I don't want this!

en	It's a symbol of our not being enemies anymore.

en	I don't even know what it is!

en	Then try it.

en	YOU try it.

en	What, are you scared it'll taste bad?

en	What if it's a condiment? Or a sauce?

en	It would be like eating mustard.

en	We should just wait for Diya and Akarsha to come back and ask them.

en	I don't want to be sitting here with matching cups with you!

en	It'll look stupid!

en	You should've thought about that before taking a glass of mystery liquid!

en	I thought I knew what it was!

en	Noelle glares down at her glass of orangey-yellow liquid. After a long moment, takes a sip of it.

en	Well? What is it?

en	It's spicy, not sweet.

en	It's...weird for a beverage. I don't like it.

en	What're you, racist?

en	I'm not racist!

en	You're like one of those wimps who're afraid of durian.

en	Closed-minded.

en	I'm not! Look, I'll finish it!

en	It's probably an acquired taste, like durian.

en	Min begins drinking her glass of the liquid too.

en	...It does taste weird for a drink.

en	I don't like it. But I'm better than her! I'll never admit it!

en	Grimacing, they continue drinking the mystery liquid in silence.

en	...Hey, you're like a Diya expert, right?

en	More or less.

en	Can I ask for your opinion on something, then?

en	Yes?

en	Where would be the best possible place to take Diya on a date?

en	A dog park.

en	I already-

en	I mean, besides a dog park.

en	Then the Harry Potter theme park at Universal Studios.

en	But I don't have the money to-

en	I mean, the budget in this situation is small.

en	...In this hypothetical situation.

en	Right. In this hypothetical situation.

en	I'm testing your Diya knowledge.

en	.................

en	.................

en	She also likes eating.

en	Why don't you take her to a dessert place instead?

en	There's one she wants to try called Snowcastle. They have shaved ice and boba.

en	It's within walking distance from school. Students often visit it during the lunch hour.

en	Perfect! Thanks.

en	...I mean, you pass.

en	Because I was testing you.

en	.................

en	Just as a reminder, I hate you.

en	I'm only helping you to make sure Diya doesn't have a terrible time.

en	Yeah, of course. I hate you, too.

en	Akarsha and Diya have returned from the bathroom.

en	Akarsha's eyes widen as she sees Min gulp another mouthful of the mystery liquid.

en	Are you guys drinking pani?!

en	Diya, look! Look, they're drinking pani!!

en	!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	What?? What's pani?

en	You're supposed to use it to fill puri, the fried dough ball things.

en	You don't drink it all by itself.

en	Noelle glares at Min.

en	I told you it wasn't a beverage! I was right!

en	Don't pin it on me!

en	You drank it all on your own!

en	Do you guys squirt ketchup directly into your mouths too??

en	Shut up.

en	Ketchup Man...

en	Both Diya and Akarsha are gleefully taking out their phones.

en	DON'T TAKE PHOTOS!

en	Look what I got!!!

en	It's a photo of a blurred, scowling Noelle trying to shove the shameful cup away from her.

en	!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

en	Send it to me.

en	You're never gonna let us live this down, are you?

en	You guessed it, Ketchup Man 2.

en	Whatever, Pee Girl.

en	Noelle storms off to the buffet area to escape Akarsha's photos.

en	Akarsha gets up and chases after her.

en	...Noelle's making things even worse. There's gonna be action shots of her running around the salad bar now.

en	And of her tripping.

en	Huh? But she hasn't tripped.

en	As if on cue, Noelle stumbles over nothing and trips.

en	Hey! This isn't a jungle gym!

en	...........

en	Wow, you're good.

en	We're alone at the table now...

en	Here's my chance to ask her out!!!

en	We should go out and eat sometime.

en	We're...already eating right now.

en	I mean, some other time. Just the two of us.

en	The next day

en	Snowcastle

en	We're here!!! On a date!!!

en	It's lunchtime at school right now. We ate really fast and sprinted here.

en	How much time do we have?

en	About 30 minutes before we gotta run back to campus.

en	Thanks for bringing me here.

en	I've always wanted to try their shaved ice.

en	I'm the one who should be thankful! Don't mention it!!

en	Min receives a chat message. She quickly checks her phone.

en	{nw}

en	I have prepared a Diya cheat sheet for your reference.

en	Top desserts/drinks Diya likes: - Any food artificially colored to look blue. The flavor is irrelevant (e.g. Blue Raspberry, Baja Blast, etc.). Diya cannot tell the difference and will refer to it as "blue flavor". - Peanut butter. She is neutral toward actual peanuts. - Mango. - Food with a circle in the center (e.g. bagels, bundt cakes, peach gummy rings).

en	If you are in a situation where multiple food items have these features (e.g. both a blue colored cake and a mango mousse cake are available), the hierarchy is as follows: "Blue flavor" > Peanut butter > Mango > Circle in the center

en	Suggested conversation topics - Owl City - Dogs who have different colored fur above their eyes so it looks like they have eyebrows - The Most Extreme (Animal Planet series)

en	k

en	ill text you if i run into trouble

en	Understood.

en	Min and Diya take their place in line and gaze up at the menu.

en	These shaved ice desserts look massive.

en	Maybe we can share one.

en	Diya nods eagerly.

en	It's on purpose. They're made for couples to eat togeth-

en	{big=+20}WE'RE SHARING ONE.{/big}

en	It's Diya and Min's turn in line now.

en	Welcome to Snowcastle. Can I take your order?

en	Diya looks anxiously at Min. Min's heart skips a beat seeing the helplessness in her eyes.

en	She's relying on me!

en	I've got you!

en	We'll have the Mt. Fuji.

en	That one is blue.

en	One Mt. Fuji, coming right up!

en	Diya and Min find a table and wait for their order.

en	I'll pay you back.

en	No, it's on me! Don't worry about it.

en	I still have the money from the mall fountain.

en	...Thanks.

en	You're welcome. I'd kill someone if you asked me to.

en	I'm pretty sure you'd kill someone even if I didn't ask you to.

en	The orders are being prepared on the counter. An employee is drizzling syrup atop another customer's mountain of shaved ice.

en	Hey, we can watch them making it.

en	Don't wanna see.

en	Food tastes better if you don't know what's in it.

en	That way it's like magic.

en	Huh. Never thought of it like that.

en	Do you know how to cook?

en	I can make microwaved popcorn.

en	That's not cooking.

en	What, can {i}you{/i} cook?

en	...Not really.

en	Once, I tried to make a pancake. When I was nine.

en	But it burned to a total crisp. Like a rock.

en	Couldn't even scrape it out of the pan.

en	I was so embarrassed that I dug a big hole in the backyard and buried it.

en	Including the pan?!

en	I was desperate. Didn't know what else to do.

en	That's so cute. Like a little puppy.

en	Are you making fun of me?

en	No! It's a good thing.

en	You're so cute sometimes that I almost can't stand it.

en	.................

en	I-I have to go to the bathroom.

en	Diya staggers to her feet and makes for the restroom.

en	She misses the door and slams straight into the wall.

en	Diya!

en	Min rushes to her side as she staggers back and grabs ahold of her, worried she might fall.

en	What's wrong? Are you hurt?

en	Diya just shakes her head, face red. She seems to be struggling with the limits of spoken language.

en	You sure?

en	Diya nods frantically.

en	Min tentatively lets her go. She watches Diya scramble into the restroom (correctly this time).

en	As Min returns to the table, her phone screen lights up with a message.

en	{nw}

en	IM GDSO FDUCKING DFONE

en	THE WAY U GRABED HER I THOIUGHT U WERE GONNNA START DRY HUMPGIN HER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RESTAURNAT

en	Akarsha, I'm convinced those sunglasses are actually impeding your mental processes.

en	I am embarrassed to be seen with you.

en	well i cant take them off

en	my coverll be blown

en	YOU SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN A BETTER DISGUISE IN THE FIRST PLACE, THEN.

en	what

en	turn around

en	..................

en	{nw}

en	WTF

en	diya's been texting me for advice on u

en	thats why she went to the bathroom

en	WHAT

en	Honestly, I'm annoyed she goes to you and not me.

en	why would she go to u? u never talk about feelings and gay stuff

en	and i also have master seduction skills

en	What master seduction skills?

en	my Tactics

en	If you're so knowledgable on these matters, why are you single?

en	excuse u im single bc i want to be??

en	some people like being sad and alone

en	on purpose

en	On purpose.

en	rigHT, ON PURPOSE

en	not bc no one ever likes me back or anything

en	dont attack me like this wtf???

en	wait guys hold on

en	how long has this been going on????

en	was the whole thing at the buffet a setup?? when yuo two left the table??

en	Take a wild guess, Sherlock.

en	you know nolle im starting to realize you do have a sense of humor

en	but your so emotionally constipated that youre style of humor is just being extremely mean

en	omg wait??

en	do u and noelle get along now??

en	We don't get along.

en	but we used to not get along much worse

en	Diya returns to the table.

en	Are you feeling better?

en	Diya nods sheepishly, and then stiffens up in fear as a waitress approaches with their dessert on a tray.

en	Waitress

en	One Mt. Fuji?

en	Diya responds with frenzied nodding as the waitress slides the dessert onto the table.

en	It's a mound of shaved ice, sculpted and saturated with blue raspberry syrup and condensed milk to look like a mountain.

en	...!!!!!!!

en	The blue flavor looks good.

en	Noelle was spot on!

en	What're the pink things?

en	It's mochi. They're supposed to look like cherry blossoms.

en	Min stabs her spoon into the shaved ice and shovels it into her mouth.

en	The shaved ice is so cold that her gums are growing numb.

en	I think I'm getting brainfreeze.

en	Me too.

en	A drop of cream is trickling down Diya's finger. She quickly licks it clean before it can reach her palm.

en	Min is so focused watching, she doesn't realize her own mouth is hanging open until she feels a trail of spit about to drop down from it.

en	Min accidentally drooled onto the table.

en	FUCK!! SHIT!!!!

en	................

en	................

en	Diya is staring determinedly into the Mt. Fuji. She's probably pretending not to have seen.

en	{nw}

en	HELP ME

en	pretend to drown so she has to give you mouth-to-mouth

en	wtf kind of plan is that

en	what would i even be drowning on??

en	the shaved ice

en	no

en	the toilet

en	NO

en	trust me im a love expert

en	there's no way this could possibly go wrong

en	Rather than potentially causing confusion like that, why don't you be open and tell her how you feel?

en	your the LAST person on the planet qualified to tell me to be open

en	I don't know what you're talking about. I'm perfectly open about my feelings.

en	SINCE WHEN XD

en	hey frenchman u enjoy our company right?

en	I'm not sure how you deluded yourself into believing that.

en	SEE

en	LMAO

en	proved us right

en	you cant even argue it

en	...........

en	SHES TRAPPED

en	SHE HATES BEING WRONG BUT CANT ADMIT SHE LIKES US

en	I like you.

en	O__O

en	HOWEVER, you're immature and relentlessly annoying. Everything about you fills me with indescribable rage. From the way you wear a windbreaker with flip-flops, to your idiotic looking hairstyle, to how you're smart yet do things like call forks "food rakes", etc.

en	And Min, you're volatile and stupid. I already hardly tolerate you, so if you hurt Diya in any way, I won't hesitate to destroy you.

en	WHY DO YOU HAVE TO IMMEDIATLY DRAG US TO DEFUSE THE SITUATION??

en	baby steps, frenchman! very good

en	SHUT UP.

en	Now that I'm right, as always, about being open, Min has no valid excuse.

en	what if diya rejects me??

en	then that's her own personal problem for having bad taste

en	her loss not urs

en	what should i say??

en	lemme think

en	shit bitch u iz fine

en	WTH NO

en	hey girl rat piss

en	What??

en	{image=ratpiss.png}

en	WHO TF WOULD SAY THAT

en	DO IT

en	HEY GIRL RAT PISS

en	N O

en	IF U DONT MAKE A MOVE WITHIN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES

en	IMMA BELT THE CRAZY FROG SONG AND RUIN UR WHOLE DATE!!

en	IVE PRACTICED

en	Unfortunately, I can confirm that she's practiced.

en	Okay. I can do this.

en	My mouth is so cold.

en	Want me to warm it up for you?

en	Diya freezes.

en	OH MY GOD?? I FUCKED UP!!! I FUCKED UP!!

en	Diya gives her a nervous, very small nod.

en	WHAT???????!

en	Kiss her

en	Min crawls onto the table on all fours with a loud clatter.

en	Diya gasps as Min cups her face in her palms and catches her lips with hers.

en	Her mouth is cold, as advertised, and blue flavor.

en	Diya doesn't push her away, but she doesn't kiss back, either. Min can feel her trembling in her arms like a frightened rabbit.

en	Anxious, Min pulls back over the sounds of Akarsha's whooping and yodeling in the background.

en	Diya is clinging desperately to Min's jacket sleeves, a vivid blush coloring her cheeks.

en	Is this good?

en	Diya frantically nods in response, looking embarrassed.

en	I don't know what to do.

en	I've never done this before.

en	Me neither, but don't worry. I looked it up on Yahoo Answers.

en	Unless you wanna start smaller?

en	I...

en	I want to hold hands with you and cuddle.

en	We can do that.

en	Min takes Diya's hand.

en	I'm happy you kissed me.

en	I like you a lot.

en	Me too.

en	Min lightly brushes Diya's lips with her thumb; Diya shivers at the touch as Min gently pulls her closer.

en	Do you like this?

en	Diya nods, then closes her eyes and leans in.

en	She nuzzles against Min, peppering her cheek with soft, little kisses.

en	OH MY GOD!!! DIYA IS KISSING ME!!!

en	The table. It's-

en	Noelle stands up and is approaching them.

en	What the fuck?! Go away Noelle!

en	You think I {i}want{/i} to be here watching this disgusting display?

en	The table is-

en	A leg of the table gives way under Min's weight!

en	I can't believe we're banned from Snowcastle now.

en	I can't believe Min BROKE THEIR TABLE.

en	No choice.

en	You could have held off on making out for 10 seconds and walked around it.

en	Like I said, no choice.

en	That was even better than you guys drinking pani at the buffet.

en	Shut up.

en	Yeah, shut your fuck up.

en	Shut your fuck up...

en	I hate you all. I'm going home.

en	Okay. See you at practice tomorrow.

en	No wait! Stay!!!

en	Change my mind, then.

en	You have approximately 10 seconds.

en	Friendship is like peeing on yourself.

en	Everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling it brings.

en	What the fuck...

en	.............

en	Goodbye.

en	NO!!!

en	WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING AFTER THAT YOU NASTY FREAK HO???

en	PEE GIRL AGAIN??

en	!!!!!!!!!!

en	MEANIE!!!

en	You...YOU DUNG ELF.

en	WHAT???

en	You know how during metamorphosis, inside the chrysalis, the caterpillar turns to soup?

en	It melts into this disgusting muddled goo slushie.

en	Everyone is a mess when they're growing up. Some people are just better at hiding it than others.

en	It's okay to be a flaming dumpster fire.

en	It's okay if you're not what your parents wanted you to be.

en	It's okay to change your mind.

en	If you want to be a butterfly, you have to be butterfly soup first.

en	If you think about it like that, we're all doing pretty good right now. We just don't know it yet.

en	Just keep going.

en	Keep trying and eventually, you'll find people who like you for the weird fuck-up that you are.

en	You deserve to be happy.

en	So don't give up.

en	I won't give up if you don't give up.

en	...And if an alligator attacks you, go for the eyes.

en	What?

en	That's what I told Min last time she said that line. The not giving up.

en	I have trivia like that, too!

en	If you're walking on the sidewalk and see a car coming toward you...

en	Instead of moving forward or backwards, go directly left or right toward the nearest obstacle you see.

en	Why left or right? I don't get it.

en	There's normally too little time to judge the car's direction. Moving directly perpendicular to how you're facing is your best bet.

en	I was looking up how to survive if a car drives into you as a pedestrian.